• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

2 YRS OUT AND VERY UNHAPPY WONDERING IF ANYONE ELSE HAS EXPERIENCED SOME OF MY FEELINGS

6

62 AND NEW

Member
Hi Im a woman who had the bypass done in March of 2019. I weighed 278 when I went in. I lived a fairly ok life I did have diabetes, CAD, HBP, but I was active. After surgery I have had no physical strength, no emotional lift. I hate the body I see and am stuck with, there is a lot of saggy skin on my arms and legs which inhibit me from wearing short sleeves, capris, a bathing suit,etc. I have no breasts left, my ribs raise higher than my breasts ( I was a D cup). I was not warned of these things or the emotional toll the surgery could take. I am embarased of my body shape and it has led to wearing long sleeves and longer shirts to have sex. I have lost hair and it doesnt' seem to be growing back. My diabetes went away for a very short time but Im back to taking insulin now. My heart meds are gone Thank God and my bp runs low along with my pulse and I am on meds for that. I have had ulcers, kidney stones, sepsis due to the kidney stones, now i need thyroid surgery. I am most uncomfortable when sleeping, there are too many bones touching each other :) The psychological aspect of this surgery was very much not expected and has been extremely hard to deal with. Can anyone relate? Are there suggestions of how to handle this? I am seeing a counselor at this time.
 
I think most people who have the surgery find themselves having some negative thoughts occasionally. I am lucky that I have had no energy issues. But I have certainly have had issues with the way I look and the way my body feels. I also had to change the way I sleep due to my knee bones jabbing into each other. And I went though a phase when I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself. But, to be quite honest, at 50, I already had sagging & rolls; they were just full of fat. I guess my acceptance point was this: I did not have a perfect body to begin with and did not have surgery with the expectation of one. I had surgery to lose weight and improve my health; which it has. So for me, the benefits have far outweighed any cost. I think you are probably dealing with it exactly the way you should; by seeing a counselor.
 
I had Lapband surgery about 10 or 11 years ago. Lost 90 lbs pretty quickly but I started to have issues with the Lapband. Food would start to come up in my mouth while sleeping and I was afraid I would aspirate it. It could have been something I was doing wrong, who knows, but at my request the doctor removed the fluid restricting the band. So I still had the band but with very little restriction. I had no support group back then which I realize now is so important. The doctor did warn me that the weight will come back on but didn't give any suggestions or alternatives. I was going through stuff back then and didn't really pay much attention to what I was doing to myself. I gained almost all the weight back. One thing I will say that pertains to what 62 AND NEW said, was that I did have problems with body image after losing the weight back then. I saw a lot of sagging skin, wrinkles that weren't there before, so perhaps in the back of my mind that didn't help and could have had a little part in the weight gain or my not caring.

After I retired and adjusted to retired life, I realized how immobile I was getting. Instead of having all this time to do whatever, my weight was limiting me in what I could do. I knew I had to make changes and it was time to concentrate on myself. Two of my doctor's suggested VSG and that it was having much better success than the Lapband. I saw a different bariatric doctor and last June I had VSG. I knew I was going to have to put more of an effort of self care besides concentrating on weight loss. Something I did not do the first time around. I knew I had to work on myself on the inside and not just the outside. I don't look at my body now with disgust over sagging skin or wrinkles. After all, I am 67 and need to give myself some grace that there's no way I am going to get around that and that's ok. I look at it more as a result of great accomplishment. My skin may be sagging but I am so much healthier than I was a year ago when I started this journey.

So what I am trying to say is that weight loss is only part of this journey, we really need to take care of ourselves and be the best we can be inside and out. I hope that 62 AND NEW, you can find inner peace with the changes your body has gone through. If your current counselor isn't touching on these issues you might want to consult with a counselor that has experience in post WLS patients. Your surgeon might be able to recommend someone. I also watch YouTube videos every day that help me with daily gratitude and are inspirational and find them to be a huge help. I also hope that you find this group to be helpful and glad you have reached out to us.
 
62 AND NEW said:
Hi Im a woman who had the bypass done in March of 2019. I weighed 278 when I went in. I lived a fairly ok life I did have diabetes, CAD, HBP, but I was active. After surgery I have had no physical strength, no emotional lift. I hate the body I see and am stuck with, there is a lot of saggy skin on my arms and legs which inhibit me from wearing short sleeves, capris, a bathing suit,etc. I have no breasts left, my ribs raise higher than my breasts ( I was a D cup). I was not warned of these things or the emotional toll the surgery could take. I am embarased of my body shape and it has led to wearing long sleeves and longer shirts to have sex. I have lost hair and it doesnt' seem to be growing back. My diabetes went away for a very short time but Im back to taking insulin now. My heart meds are gone Thank God and my bp runs low along with my pulse and I am on meds for that. I have had ulcers, kidney stones, sepsis due to the kidney stones, now i need thyroid surgery. I am most uncomfortable when sleeping, there are too many bones touching each other :) The psychological aspect of this surgery was very much not expected and has been extremely hard to deal with. Can anyone relate? Are there suggestions of how to handle this? I am seeing a counselor at this time.
Click to expand...
I could have written your letter myself! I also cannot sleep because of all the bones touching, its weird... i was aware of what my body would look like but to actually see it. disgusts me. I was a C cup also and my breasts were the first to go, my hair isnt growing back (my surgery was Jan 2020) i also I dont have many health issues although i dont walk ...i ruined my knees with the weight gain so now im either in my w/c or my scooter. They have cancelled all of the post op support groups due to covid. so i have not seen anyone in a year..no follow ups or anything. I started out at 337lbs and am down to just under 200. I joined here to ask about compression clothing as i am going to need it when the warmer weather hits. What i know is that they operated on my body but my mind is still struggling with all of this. i am trying to train my mind to go along with this 'new' life that surgery gave me..i dont have a choice sometimes...lolll. I wish u well and im sure we're not alone in this. I just wish i could walk and be active. I wont get knee surgery ..im petrified they wont give me pain medication. After my bypas they offered me tylenol, Im like i dont think so, and they did give me something stronger. Its a choice im gonna have to figure out on my own. Good luck to u!
 
Hello 62 and new! I am sorry you are struggling right now. This journey certainly has its ups and downs. I am almost one year out. I have experienced similar body changes- my chest had vanished, it takes me a while to get comfortable at night due to my bony ribs, hips and knees. I feel like I have a bit of the blues just reconciling that this is my new life now- not that I regret it but just knowing I will always need to be disciplined with food, managing stress and that little voice inside my head that wants to justify my old habits- primarily my addiction to food.I had no known health issues related to obesity before surgery. I was 289lbs at my heaviest. All that being said I remember what it was like to have a BMI of 51. The smallest amount of exertion made me sweat buckets. I worked out 5x a week doing crossfit and wasn’t getting anywhere. Constantly sore back/feet. Always uncomfortable in my skin. I knew it was only a matter of time before my luck would run out. I have lots of skin but it is so much easier to manage than the layers of fat that suffocated me when I slept- my chest was so big I couldn’t breathe if I slept on my back. My menstrual cycles were insane. For me covid has made things so much worse. My support network is so limited due to limited opportunities to gather with family and friends. This support group has been a lifesaver. Working with a therapist is an excellent way to explore your experience and address your challenges. One thing that has helped me is to keep my eye on my goals. Wishing you all the best on your journey!!
 
Lyn said:
I could have written your letter myself! I also cannot sleep because of all the bones touching, its weird... i was aware of what my body would look like but to actually see it. disgusts me. I was a C cup also and my breasts were the first to go, my hair isnt growing back (my surgery was Jan 2020) i also I dont have many health issues although i dont walk ...i ruined my knees with the weight gain so now im either in my w/c or my scooter. They have cancelled all of the post op support groups due to covid. so i have not seen anyone in a year..no follow ups or anything. I started out at 337lbs and am down to just under 200. I joined here to ask about compression clothing as i am going to need it when the warmer weather hits. What i know is that they operated on my body but my mind is still struggling with all of this. i am trying to train my mind to go along with this 'new' life that surgery gave me..i dont have a choice sometimes...lolll. I wish u well and im sure we're not alone in this. I just wish i could walk and be active. I wont get knee surgery ..im petrified they wont give me pain medication. After my bypas they offered me tylenol, Im like i dont think so, and they did give me something stronger. Its a choice im gonna have to figure out on my own. Good luck to u!
Click to expand...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING I AM WORKING ON ADJUSTING TO MY NEW ME IS COMPRESSION CLOTHING LIKE A GRIDLE?
 
THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REPLIED. I JUST NEED TO WORK HARDER AT ACCEPTING THIS NEW BODY AND YES I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE PLUSES OF THE SURGERY. SOMETIMES JUST GETS ME VERY UPSET ABOUT THE THINGS THAT I DON'T LIKE I WILL FOLLOW THIS GROUP THOUGH AND HOPE FOR ADVICE AND INFORMATION. THANKS AGAIN
 
I am glad that you replied and are planning to stick around. I have found this support group to have a real, positive impact on my mental well-being. Not everything that comes along with WLS is positive. It's nice to have somewhere to go where people can understand and commiserate. And to remind you of the benefits, when you can't really see past the wrinkles/rolls.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top