TraceyT
Member
My dad has been in the end stages of COPD for the last year or so. He has been on oxygen 24/7 for the last 2 years. The oxygen was helpful to his breathing, but he didn't have the lung strength to exhale all of the carbon dioxide. He was hospitalized last year with a serious build up of CO2 in his blood stream. He was on a bi-pap machine that literally forced the CO2 out.
I've always been a daddy's girl. My parents depend on me for a lot of things. I've always done what they've asked of me. But there are times that there are things no child - no matter what your age - should be asked to do.
My dad and I talked the first week of February 2022 - I'm the executor of my parents will - my dad needed me to sign a paper stating that my mom has no say in his medical decisions and that I'll be making all of his medical decisions from now on. I was called at work- 2/9/22 - and needed to come home my dad wasn't doing doing very well. When I arrived - my mom was telling the EMT's to take my dad to the hospital. My dad was telling them no. When I got there my dad said KitKat is in control over my medical now - do what she says. My mom was confused. She told the EMT's she had medical power of attorney until her death and I said no - daddy changed it to me as of 2/9/22 - I showed them the paperwork. Mom said fine tell them to take him to the hospital. I looked at my dad he just shook his head no - I told them he wasn't going to the hospital. My mom was furious. She didn't understand. My dad told her that he didn't want her to have to make the hard choices and he knew I'd do whatever he needed me to do. He told her he was so very tired and breathing was a struggle.
My mom called my brother and told him he needed to get there as fast as he could. My brother hasn't been around in YEARS - and I mean 10 YEARS. He'll show up close to his birthday - Christmas and things like that. But other than to collect cash or gifts - he's never around. He'd call ever so often to ask for money - but that's the extent of his involvement with our parents.
He showed up and put on this great show for my mom. He was yelling at me that I was killing daddy. That I was killing mamma. That I was overstepping my bounds between mamma and daddy. My dad, bless his heart, told my brother "Son, go on back home. Even if I get hit by a beer truck walking to the bathroom you still won't get anything till your mamma passes - and you know she likes to shop - so if I know my wife - she's already shopping, so there won't be anything left for you." My brothers mouth just fell open and daddy - me - mamma all just busted out laughing.
It eased the tension and sent my brother away.
My wonderful sweet funny kind - love of my life - daddy passed away 2/12/22. I was sitting with him holding his hand and talking. My mom had fallen asleep in the chair. I had told daddy about 10:30 that evening I loved him was going to go home get some sleep and I'd b back in the morning. He kissed my head and hand and said I adore you KitKat - you're my girl - but I won't be here in the morning. So I just stayed with him. Holding his hand feeding him chocolate ice cream - and talking. At 7 am he looked at me and said I love you Kat - all I want is for you to be safe and happy. I told him I loved him too - he looked at me and said their here - he looked at the ceiling and said - I've been waiting on you - tell your mamma I'm sorry but I have to go now - Petey's here. And he took his last breath. He passed away @ 7:07am 2/12/22 in his home where he wanted to be.
I know that I set there for another couple of hours just holding his hand and talking to him and crying. My mamma woke up after 9am. I was still there and I moved and she knew he was gone. I told mamma what daddy said - and she asked me if he was scared - I said no - Petey came to get him - daddy saw him and told me Petey was there. My mamma cried. Petey is my oldest brother who died when he was 2 or 3. This happened before I was ever born.
I called my husband at work - he came straight home. Walked into the house grabbed me and we both just fell to the floor we and we cried. My husband was closer to my dad than his own dad. My father in law passed away in 2016 - my husband never shed a tear for his dad. I truly think that says a lot about the difference in a good dad and bad dad. My husband always said my daddy treated him more like a son than his own dad did.
My hope is that my husband and I can treat our children, son-in-laws, and grand babies - good. To make them feel loved cared for and special.
I've always been a daddy's girl. My parents depend on me for a lot of things. I've always done what they've asked of me. But there are times that there are things no child - no matter what your age - should be asked to do.
My dad and I talked the first week of February 2022 - I'm the executor of my parents will - my dad needed me to sign a paper stating that my mom has no say in his medical decisions and that I'll be making all of his medical decisions from now on. I was called at work- 2/9/22 - and needed to come home my dad wasn't doing doing very well. When I arrived - my mom was telling the EMT's to take my dad to the hospital. My dad was telling them no. When I got there my dad said KitKat is in control over my medical now - do what she says. My mom was confused. She told the EMT's she had medical power of attorney until her death and I said no - daddy changed it to me as of 2/9/22 - I showed them the paperwork. Mom said fine tell them to take him to the hospital. I looked at my dad he just shook his head no - I told them he wasn't going to the hospital. My mom was furious. She didn't understand. My dad told her that he didn't want her to have to make the hard choices and he knew I'd do whatever he needed me to do. He told her he was so very tired and breathing was a struggle.
My mom called my brother and told him he needed to get there as fast as he could. My brother hasn't been around in YEARS - and I mean 10 YEARS. He'll show up close to his birthday - Christmas and things like that. But other than to collect cash or gifts - he's never around. He'd call ever so often to ask for money - but that's the extent of his involvement with our parents.
He showed up and put on this great show for my mom. He was yelling at me that I was killing daddy. That I was killing mamma. That I was overstepping my bounds between mamma and daddy. My dad, bless his heart, told my brother "Son, go on back home. Even if I get hit by a beer truck walking to the bathroom you still won't get anything till your mamma passes - and you know she likes to shop - so if I know my wife - she's already shopping, so there won't be anything left for you." My brothers mouth just fell open and daddy - me - mamma all just busted out laughing.
It eased the tension and sent my brother away.
My wonderful sweet funny kind - love of my life - daddy passed away 2/12/22. I was sitting with him holding his hand and talking. My mom had fallen asleep in the chair. I had told daddy about 10:30 that evening I loved him was going to go home get some sleep and I'd b back in the morning. He kissed my head and hand and said I adore you KitKat - you're my girl - but I won't be here in the morning. So I just stayed with him. Holding his hand feeding him chocolate ice cream - and talking. At 7 am he looked at me and said I love you Kat - all I want is for you to be safe and happy. I told him I loved him too - he looked at me and said their here - he looked at the ceiling and said - I've been waiting on you - tell your mamma I'm sorry but I have to go now - Petey's here. And he took his last breath. He passed away @ 7:07am 2/12/22 in his home where he wanted to be.
I know that I set there for another couple of hours just holding his hand and talking to him and crying. My mamma woke up after 9am. I was still there and I moved and she knew he was gone. I told mamma what daddy said - and she asked me if he was scared - I said no - Petey came to get him - daddy saw him and told me Petey was there. My mamma cried. Petey is my oldest brother who died when he was 2 or 3. This happened before I was ever born.
I called my husband at work - he came straight home. Walked into the house grabbed me and we both just fell to the floor we and we cried. My husband was closer to my dad than his own dad. My father in law passed away in 2016 - my husband never shed a tear for his dad. I truly think that says a lot about the difference in a good dad and bad dad. My husband always said my daddy treated him more like a son than his own dad did.
My hope is that my husband and I can treat our children, son-in-laws, and grand babies - good. To make them feel loved cared for and special.
