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Alcoholism 7 years after Sleeve

B

Baribunny88

Member
Hello all!
I'm new here but am finally reaching out to get the help I need...I never drank before surgery. Had a pretty uneventful surgery and post op. Loved the results! Hit 165 and was so happy to finally feel good. Then the wine started. I stayed home with my son and found myself drinking something I didn't even feel tasted good...then came whiskey..vodka. Anything I could get my hands on. It became who I was as a person. Party girl. Good time. Always meeting new people and having that be my reputation. Fast forward to 7 years later. I ruined my marriage. Have missed out on so much time with my kids. Work is even becoming a challenge. I'm in the basement of rock bottom and back at 215. Although that's the least of my worries. I'm reaching out for help. I have an AA meeting tomorrow night but am embarrassed and scared it has gotten this bad. I'd like to know of any ofmy bari friends that have experience with this or know of any specific groups in the Illinois area that can help. I'm willing to try anything and everything to get better.
Thank you so much for ANY advice
 
Baribunny88 said:
Hello all!
I'm new here but am finally reaching out to get the help I need...I never drank before surgery. Had a pretty uneventful surgery and post op. Loved the results! Hit 165 and was so happy to finally feel good. Then the wine started. I stayed home with my son and found myself drinking something I didn't even feel tasted good...then came whiskey..vodka. Anything I could get my hands on. It became who I was as a person. Party girl. Good time. Always meeting new people and having that be my reputation. Fast forward to 7 years later. I ruined my marriage. Have missed out on so much time with my kids. Work is even becoming a challenge. I'm in the basement of rock bottom and back at 215. Although that's the least of my worries. I'm reaching out for help. I have an AA meeting tomorrow night but am embarrassed and scared it has gotten this bad. I'd like to know of any ofmy bari friends that have experience with this or know of any specific groups in the Illinois area that can help. I'm willing to try anything and everything to get better.
Thank you so much for ANY advice
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I don't have any advice, but am thankful you have accepted that you need help. We are a very supportive bunch and will definitely root for you. <3
 
Welcome! First off, thank you for trusting us and talking about your situation. I know it is not easy asking for help and putting yourself out there. I think you are very brave in admitting your addiction. Great job on finding an AA meeting to attend. Please do not feel embarrassed or scared with either this group or AA. A lot of us are here because of food addiction, and after surgery there is always the possibility of transferring that addiction. And going to AA means being in a room with people who know what you’re going through with alcohol. This is a safe place for you to share.
 
3momchaos said:
Welcome! First off, thank you for trusting us and talking about your situation. I know it is not easy asking for help and putting yourself out there. I think you are very brave in admitting your addiction. Great job on finding an AA meeting to attend. Please do not feel embarrassed or scared with either this group or AA. A lot of us are here because of food addiction, and after surgery there is always the possibility of transferring that addiction. And going to AA means being in a room with people who know what you’re going through with alcohol. This is a safe place for you to share.
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Thank you for letting me vent and giving me a safe place. I appreciate you!
 
Baribunny88 said:
Hello all!
I'm new here but am finally reaching out to get the help I need...I never drank before surgery. Had a pretty uneventful surgery and post op. Loved the results! Hit 165 and was so happy to finally feel good. Then the wine started. I stayed home with my son and found myself drinking something I didn't even feel tasted good...then came whiskey..vodka. Anything I could get my hands on. It became who I was as a person. Party girl. Good time. Always meeting new people and having that be my reputation. Fast forward to 7 years later. I ruined my marriage. Have missed out on so much time with my kids. Work is even becoming a challenge. I'm in the basement of rock bottom and back at 215. Although that's the least of my worries. I'm reaching out for help. I have an AA meeting tomorrow night but am embarrassed and scared it has gotten this bad. I'd like to know of any ofmy bari friends that have experience with this or know of any specific groups in the Illinois area that can help. I'm willing to try anything and everything to get better.
Thank you so much for ANY advice
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AA will make you better. Best of luck x
 
The BLJ said:
You're already on the right path with step one admitting you're powerless than seeking help. If you can't find a live meeting, there are online meetings as well via Zoom. I've heard of a few bariatric patients that started drinking after surgery replacing one addiction with another.
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Yes, I found the Zoom meetings as well so thr place I visited has both so that's really great. Thank you!
 
dianeseattle said:
Welcome to the group Bunny. I advise you to use our search function at the top of the page and look specifically for alcoholism and alcohol related addiction. You will find a wealth of postings from people who share your problem. I want to congratulate you on your initial success and sympathize with you about your fall into the demon liquor.

Even though I am not an alcoholic, there is no doubt in my mind that I was addicted to food. And I don't mean food itself. I was addicted to binging and purging and when I was a teen I was anorexic. I can tell you how hard it was to try to deal with those addictions prior to weight loss surgery. A typical evening for me was driving from drive up to drive up window and 7-Eleven stores until I had a huge bag of Twinkies and a Big Gulp or a Super Big Gulp . Then I would go home and eat it all. If I was lucky, I was able to purge it. But I don't have much of a gag reflex so it didn't always work and before I knew it, I was huge.

But after successful surgery, I lost a hundred 15 lb and for 13 years I have maintained it within 10 lb of my goal. I now spend my leisure time working out at the YMCA so I can hike mile high mountains and take solo canoe trips around big lakes in the North Cascades.

And the addiction feeling is completely gone. I don't even have cravings, although they are common and most people do have them.

You can come back from this but one thing at a time, one day at a time. You should deal with your alcoholism first and then go back to where you started after bariatric surgery. You should lose a lot of weight just by abstaining from alcohol.

Scroll down the bottom of this page and you will find a resource about a five day pouch reset. I also recently added a new research dealing with a lot of things including cravings and high protein food list. There are some good resources there.

My baby brother Tim died of alcoholism related problems a few years ago. He was 61 years old. The last 10 years of his life he was in and out of hospitals, having strokes, being treated for diabetes and cirrhosis of the liver, and eventually a horrific 81 day hospitalization I can hardly bring myself to talk about.

Again, welcome to the group. We accept you and we love you and we support you.

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Thank you SO much for sharing your story and rooting for me! I'm sorry you lost your brother under those circumstances. I couldn't imagine that pain and do not want my family to feel that. First meeting went well! Thank you ❤
 
Baribunny88 said:
Hello all!
I'm new here but am finally reaching out to get the help I need...I never drank before surgery. Had a pretty uneventful surgery and post op. Loved the results! Hit 165 and was so happy to finally feel good. Then the wine started. I stayed home with my son and found myself drinking something I didn't even feel tasted good...then came whiskey..vodka. Anything I could get my hands on. It became who I was as a person. Party girl. Good time. Always meeting new people and having that be my reputation. Fast forward to 7 years later. I ruined my marriage. Have missed out on so much time with my kids. Work is even becoming a challenge. I'm in the basement of rock bottom and back at 215. Although that's the least of my worries. I'm reaching out for help. I have an AA meeting tomorrow night but am embarrassed and scared it has gotten this bad. I'd like to know of any ofmy bari friends that have experience with this or know of any specific groups in the Illinois area that can help. I'm willing to try anything and everything to get better.
Thank you so much for ANY advice
Click to expand...
Hi and welcome Bunny. I'm an alcoholic with 4 years, 3 months and 27 days of sobriety. I've been where you are, except it was before my surgery. Have you been to https://www.intherooms.com? I've attended several online meetings since this pandemic hit.

For me, it took total surrender, I needed to get out of my surroundings & break from my everyday stresses in order to address my problem. I had been drinking heavily since my teens and was a "functional" alcoholic for at least 10 years. I tried outpatient treatment and stayed sober for a couple months but still living the same life everyday, fell back into the bottle. I never considered inpatient rehab before because I'd be risking my job, my home, everything. And the thought of revealing my problem to anyone who didn't know was too shameful to bear. The effort I put in everyday to wear the mask so no one would know I was slowly killing myself... I would smile when someone came to my desk all the while crossing my arms tightly to control the shaking & wishing them away. I was so sick but acted happy as could be.

I woke that morning in May 2016, on the floor and I was lost, I couldn't even think, I just had a vague recollection of a 2 day bender of shot after shot, passing out, repeat. Sweat dripping, shaking & crying, I called my sister and my best friend. I emailed work and an hour later, I checked myself into detox at the hospital. I was overcome with worry about work, asked my sister to email them again to say I'd call as soon as I could.

The hospital stay was supposed to be 3 days but because of the amount I had been drinking every night, I was a high-risk for seizures/stroke. At 3 days they still thought I was in danger and they kept me 5. Rum was my poison and I'd polish up a full bottle each night. I researched later and discovered that comes out to over 25-1oz shots! When the hospital thought I was stable enough, they set up a stay at a 28 day rehab. I called work, my sister and my friend, then went directly into this program. It was beyond humbling being there with other addicts, realizing I was one of them. It wasn't anything like you see in movies. No phone, computers, TV, radio or even newspapers. Cut off from the world. Shared a room with one slob after another (I'm also OCD), gross. But I made it and it broke me out of my daily routine which was exactly what I needed. I haven't had another drink knowing I never want to go through that again!

I wish you all the best and know how you feel. You are not alone, there are so many of us. I do the rooms now and then just to remind myself of that. I do not follow the AA program but have adopted a strong meditation practice and affirmations have become second nature to me. As cliche as it sounds, I've embraced spirituality and set a daily intention to try to live my best life. Some days are better than others but you are resilient! You will bounce back. You have the strength, you only need the tools.

Sending you love and hope. Message me any time.
 
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Brenda2010 said:
Hi and welcome Bunny. I'm an alcoholic with 4 years, 3 months and 27 days of sobriety. I've been where you are, except it was before my surgery. Have you been to https://www.intherooms.com? I've attended several online meetings since this pandemic hit.

For me, it took total surrender, I needed to get out of my surroundings & break from my everyday stresses in order to address my problem. I had been drinking heavily since my teens and was a "functional" alcoholic for at least 10 years. I tried outpatient treatment and stayed sober for a couple months but still living the same life everyday, fell back into the bottle. I never considered inpatient rehab before because I'd be risking my job, my home, everything. And the thought of revealing my problem to anyone who didn't know was too shameful to bear. The effort I put in everyday to wear the mask so no one would know I was slowly killing myself... I would smile when someone came to my desk all the while crossing my arms tightly to control the shaking & wishing them away. I was so sick but acted happy as could be.

I woke that morning in May 2016, on the floor and I was lost, I couldn't even think, I just had a vague recollection of a 2 day bender of shot after shot, passing out, repeat. Sweat dripping, shaking & crying, I called my sister and my best friend. I emailed work and an hour later, I checked myself into detox at the hospital. I was overcome with worry about work, asked my sister to email them again to say I'd call as soon as I could.

The hospital stay was supposed to be 3 days but because of the amount I had been drinking every night, I was a high-risk for seizures/stroke. At 3 days they still thought I was in danger and they kept me 5. Rum was my poison and I'd polish up a full bottle each night. I researched later and discovered that comes out to over 25-1oz shots! When the hospital thought I was stable enough, they set up a stay at a 28 day rehab. I called work, my sister and my friend, then went directly into this program. It was beyond humbling being there with other addicts, realizing I was one of them. It wasn't anything like you see in movies. No phone, computers, TV, radio or even newspapers. Cut off from the world. Shared a room with one slob after another (I'm also OCD), gross. But I made it and it broke me out of my daily routine which was exactly what I needed. I haven't had another drink knowing I never want to go through that again!

I wish you all the best and know how you feel. You are not alone, there are so many of us. I do the rooms now and then just to remind myself of that. I do not follow the AA program but have adopted a strong meditation practice and affirmations have become second nature to me. As cliche as it sounds, I've embraced spirituality and set a daily intention to try to live my best life. Some days are better than others but you are resilient! You will bounce back. You have the strength, you only need the tools.

Sending you love and hope. Message me any time.
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Love you Brenda! You are so strong, and an absolute inspiration to overcome this and exceed your weight loss goals. Thank you for sharing this searingly honest account of your personal struggle to help others xx
 
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