There has to be a way that you can dress that would help you feel better. Spanks undergarments are amazing. Also there are bras with full body coverage to eliminate back fat. I have had a tummy tuck and I can tell you that changed the entire way my body looked. I have reached my goal several years ago. I have been fortunate that I have kept most of my weight off for the past 14 years. Every now and then I creep up 15-20 but whenever that happens I start a weight control diet. Right now I am on Ideal Protein and it is the best I have ever felt in my life post op. I have more energy than I know what to do with. I've lost eight pounds my first week. I only have a few pounds to go to get down to my lightest weight yet. And I love the way I feel. I've shared all of this to let you know it does get better, things change and you change with it. If someone had told me that 15 years ago when I spent 54 days in the hospital from a ruptured bowel losing my 5 month pregnancy, I would have thought they were crazy. I was cut open three times, lost all of my hair and many days thought I was going to die... literally the day before my 34 birthday I spent hours vomiting only to end up in surgery to awaken to my stomach left open with a wet to dry pack and my hands tied to the bed. I guess I had been trying to take out the tube down my nose.... Oh, and to top that off I lost my job and had no hair... and three months before all of that I lost my Mom to breast cancer. They say when it rains it pours... that was one hell of a thunderstorm... got struck by lightening a couple of times and did not think I was going to make it. They actually had to resesitate me once...... Can I tell you something? I'm going to assume since you are in this forum you are looking for advice. So here goes..... embrace your body... it is the only one you have. At 43 it is time to move beyond the physical restrictions that you allow your mind to create. With a new perspective you can think you way to happiness. That is the simple truth. It's all about how you perceive the situation. If you perceive this second chance for what it is..... a second chance, you can create your own destiny. You can choose to love you body, love yourself and begin looking at yourself a whole new way. You are beautiful just the way you are. God doesn't make any mistakes... beauty comes from within... confidence and joy... that's quite the combination. I know you have seen heavy women who just glow... they love life and have someone who loves them and it shows in their face... their eyes.... you can have that too. You just have to make the first choice to choose to love yourself. I hope you find the courage to love your body and recognise it is the only one you are going to get.... 
