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Depressed & discouraged

Badgy

Badgy

Member
HW: 246
SW: 224 - on 12/8
CW: 206.8

I find this so depressing. :( Less than 20 lb in first month feels like total failure to me. And I'm scared because I know that I can eat everything without problems and I know I can eat a lot at one sitting. It's like there was no surgery whatsoever. A lot of time, money, hopes and dreams for something I could have done without surgery if I had the discipline that it took. Now I have to summon that discipline from somewhere to make this worthwhile, all the while knowing I'm one Snickers away from my previous life. I'm discouraged. I'm sick to death of protein and artificial crap, and just want a salad but I can't have one. It's so frustrating! I should have known this wouldn't work for me. I should have done RNY.
 
Badgy, as hard as this seems, literally none of what you are thinking is actually true. You've been on this journey for a LONG time, so you lost 20 lbs pre-surgery and it took you how long? Months, right? 20 lbs in a month is great! And while you may be able to eat more than recommended or than others can, you absolutely cannot eat as much as you could pre-surgery. Think about it. Can you eat a large pizza?!? Hell no. I also had/have no negative reactions to any foods and felt that I hadn't even had surgery for awhile. And I did have the RNY, so that's no guarantee that food will make you sick. I have had to learn to consider myself lucky. Would you really want to have dumping syndome? Vomit every time you swallowed a bite too much? It was always going to be about choices. The surgery is a tool. It gives you a chance to change. If you are sick of the fake foods/protein shakes, mix it up. I know you're still in puree but there are other options. Scrambled eggs, high protein yogurt, cottage cheese, chicken salad, ricotta bake. I have been terrified I am going to fail the entire time, I think most of us are. But you can't allow your negative thoughts to overtake you. Not this time. You CAN do this. It IS working for you. Try to encourage yourself instead of discouraging yourself. Would you tell anyone here that 20lbs wasn't good enough? Of course not. Be kind to yourself.
 
missyinacage said:
Badgy, as hard as this seems, literally none of what you are thinking is actually true. You've been on this journey for a LONG time, so you lost 20 lbs pre-surgery and it took you how long? Months, right? 20 lbs in a month is great! And while you may be able to eat more than recommended or than others can, you absolutely cannot eat as much as you could pre-surgery. Think about it. Can you eat a large pizza?!? Hell no. I also had/have no negative reactions to any foods and felt that I hadn't even had surgery for awhile. And I did have the RNY, so that's no guarantee that food will make you sick. I have had to learn to consider myself lucky. Would you really want to have dumping syndome? Vomit every time you swallowed a bite too much? It was always going to be about choices. The surgery is a tool. It gives you a chance to change. If you are sick of the fake foods/protein shakes, mix it up. I know you're still in puree but there are other options. Scrambled eggs, high protein yogurt, cottage cheese, chicken salad, ricotta bake. I have been terrified I am going to fail the entire time, I think most of us are. But you can't allow your negative thoughts to overtake you. Not this time. You CAN do this. It IS working for you. Try to encourage yourself instead of discouraging yourself. Would you tell anyone here that 20lbs wasn't good enough? Of course not. Be kind to yourself.
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Thank you so much. I needed to hear these words. (Hugs)
 
Hi Badgy and Missyinacage, I'm 2 months post-op and only lost about 23 pounds mostly the first week. That's all. I eat far less than I did before obviously, and many things hurt going down. I has a surgery injury (omentum infarct) that kept me immobile mostly for 7 weeks, and eating anything that I could tolerate... including some breads and sugar that are not on the diet. So I'm also depressed about my lack of progress. But even if I only lose 20 pounds... and stiffle MORE weight gain, then I'm in far better shape for the golden years of my life. Trying to find the bright side. I think my hormones are so sensitive that ANY carbs, turn my fat storage hormones on, and therefore I cannot lose weight if I eat them. That's my only explanation. Regardless of how less calories I eat, I can't get rid of weight if my hormones are in 'store fat' mode.
 
BBinLQ said:
Hi Badgy and Missyinacage, I'm 2 months post-op and only lost about 23 pounds mostly the first week. That's all. I eat far less than I did before obviously, and many things hurt going down. I has a surgery injury (omentum infarct) that kept me immobile mostly for 7 weeks, and eating anything that I could tolerate... including some breads and sugar that are not on the diet. So I'm also depressed about my lack of progress. But even if I only lose 20 pounds... and stiffle MORE weight gain, then I'm in far better shape for the golden years of my life. Trying to find the bright side. I think my hormones are so sensitive that ANY carbs, turn my fat storage hormones on, and therefore I cannot lose weight if I eat them. That's my only explanation. Regardless of how less calories I eat, I can't get rid of weight if my hormones are in 'store fat' mode.
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I truly think the most important thing we can do post surgery is be a little kinder both mentally and physically to ourselves. You were immobile for 7 weeks. That alone will make it hard to lose weight. And you've lost 23 pounds. That is something to be proud of. Celebrate your success. Even though some of the healthier foods take some getting used to, as they are more filling and harder to digest than simple carbs, this is one of those things you need to do to be kinder to yourself physically. You said 7 weeks, so you must be able to move now. This is great news. Start walking. Even if it's just in place or around your home. Even 5 minute at a time. Eat your protein first. It turns out it's very filling, especially if you can eat it instead of drink it. I still add protein powder to foods low in protein, but I don't drink the shakes anymore. If solid food is causing you pain going down, please call your surgeon. This is not normal. Remember, you are only 2 months out. You can/will be in weight loss mode for up to 2 years. Stay positive.
 
Badgy, I am sorry you feel so down and frustrated. Missy had very good advice. And if it makes you feel any better, I had to wind up having 3 surgeries following my VSG due to complications. I had sooooo much fluid pumped in to me that I actually came out of the hospital 3 weeks later gaining 40 lbs from my surgery weight. Trust me, it was not from eating! I did get depressed but tried my hardest to focus on health and not the weight. I kept to what I was suppose to do and eventually the weight came off. I believe it will for you too if you just stick with it. The biggest thing we can do is not compare ourselves to others. Some people lose much faster for whatever reason.

And although I shouldn't compare, sometimes I think I eat more than what other people are eating as well. But like Missy said, I know I am eating so much less than before. I use small plates or bowls and never go back for more. In the long term that will pay off. Anytime the scale is less than before, it is a victory. There is no victory too small, so think positively that you are going in the right direction.

One more thing that is helping me a great deal... I am watching youtube videos for "self help" and encouragement. My favorite is "My Level 10 Life" by Erin Branscom. She lost 150 lbs after having VSG and had her ups and downs doing it. But she has lots of good suggestions and her positive attitude is helping me a great deal.
 
BBinLQ said:
Hi Badgy and Missyinacage, I'm 2 months post-op and only lost about 23 pounds mostly the first week. That's all. I eat far less than I did before obviously, and many things hurt going down. I has a surgery injury (omentum infarct) that kept me immobile mostly for 7 weeks, and eating anything that I could tolerate... including some breads and sugar that are not on the diet. So I'm also depressed about my lack of progress. But even if I only lose 20 pounds... and stiffle MORE weight gain, then I'm in far better shape for the golden years of my life. Trying to find the bright side. I think my hormones are so sensitive that ANY carbs, turn my fat storage hormones on, and therefore I cannot lose weight if I eat them. That's my only explanation. Regardless of how less calories I eat, I can't get rid of weight if my hormones are in 'store fat' mode.
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I'm sorry to hear you had health struggles following surgery, I mentioned I did too in the post above. It does make it hard but it sounds like you did what I did and just focused on getting healthier. As you can see by my weight loss on my tracker below, the weight loss did eventually come even though I was far behind the average person. Even after having all those complications I do not regret having the surgery. Good luck in your journey, and best of health!
 
Hi Badgy -

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Looking at your stats - you've lost 40 pounds between pre-op and post-op - that's AWESOME! That's HUGE - it's 40 pounds behind you that you don't have to deal with now.

I know that some people get on that scale 3-4 times a day. I truly believe that the scale can be a huge part of when/how/why WLS patients get discouraged and even depressed. I suggest putting the scale away for a while. I keep mine in a cabinet. For me its out of sight out of mind. I only weigh when I go to the doctor.

You're making progress - just follow the food plan your surgical team laid out for you. Contact a counselor or whoever you can talk to you at your surgical clinic. If they don't have a counselor on staff call you surgical team and they should be able to point you in the right direction on where/who to talk to. You got this! Best of luck!
 
JudyNY said:
One more thing that is helping me a great deal... I am watching youtube videos for "self help" and encouragement. My favorite is "My Level 10 Life" by Erin Branscom. She lost 150 lbs after having VSG and had her ups and downs doing it. But she has lots of good suggestions and her positive attitude is helping me a great deal.
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Judy I love the videos by “My Level 10 Life" too!!! She’s a real inspiration
 
You are making great progress. The first few weeks after surgery I often wondered if they actually removed my stomach. Although I knew that I was eating less, there were times when it didn't seem like it. The food choices suck during the first 6 weeks or so. I thought I was hungrier than I was supposed to be, and there were times I was confused about what was going on.

You are not alone in your experience. You can reach your goals with a VSG or RNY. I never lost more weight in a month than 20 something pounds. I had a couple 10 pound months, and the rest have been less than 10 lbs each month. I'm not quite to the six month mark and I've lost 90.5 lbs. All the while I never felt extremely "restricted" from the surgery. We all progress differently, some faster than others, some slower than others, and most of us are somewhere in between. All of it is "normal."

I can be easy to get down on ourselves, get worried that we are going to slip into old habits, make bad choices, etc. The surgery doesn't do shit for our coping mechanisms, that's for sure. We still have to fight those battles. However, that doesn't make the surgery not worth it. There are still many benefits from the surgery that will help you along. You've lost 20lbs! That is totally awesome, and you can continue to lose.

I had to forgive myself for bad choices and focus on praising myself for good choices and plan to make good choices when it comes to food. I'm a person who tends to be pretty negative and hard on myself. That's been my MO for a long time, so it takes extreme effort to focus on the positive things, so I think I have an idea of how you are feeling. Not exactly, of course, but I certainly understand.

You can do this, and you can get used to making choices that keep you away from Snickers and the like. It's not always going to be easy, but you can do it.

Stay on your post-op path as best as you can and keep reaching out for support and encouragement. Praise yourself for making good choices, and I mean really let yourself be happy when you do things you know benefit your health. Try to get out of the habit of being negative if things don't go quite right or you make a bad choice. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on. I know it's easier said than done, but that is what we need.

I know my life experience is much different than yours, so I can't speak to exactly what remedy will work best for you, but I know you have many good possible outcomes ahead of you, and that you can reach them.
 
It’s interesting how everyone has such a different perspective. I have a higher starting weight... and I lost 24lb in 2 weeks post op and I was devastated. That was way too fast for me. I want a healthy, gradual, slow weight loss. I came in here seeking encouragement and reassurance the weight loss would slow down. Focus on the reason you started this journey! So thankful for finding somewhere to read/voice feelings!!
 
Hi Badgy
You are doing great despite not feeling so. Everybody’s weight loss is so different. I remember coming on here in the early days and feeling so discouraged as I was not losing weight nearly as quickly as everybody else. As people above shared, everyone’s journey is different. My weight loss did not really pick up until the fourth or fifth month. I followed all the instructions and suggestions of the bariatric team. I am down 160 pounds and at my goal in 10 months. I lost 40 pounds in the first three months post-op RNY. I think a fair bit of that had to do with insulin resistance and my frustration over the initial one month liquid diet pre-op followed by one month of liquid diet postop which was absolutely torturous for me. Just stay the course and take it one day at a time- there were times I took it one minute at a time. Losing 5% of your body weight has health benefits. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this:) You have a village of people rooting for you!!
 
I was watching a bariatric surgeon on YouTube not too long ago, and he said in his experience, mainly observations no hard data, that when you lose more before surgery, then have a quick loss after surgery, your body is more likely to stall because of the adjustments. I think there’s probably some merit to that because our bodies after surgery are healing, getting fewer calories, and also adjusting to the presurgical weight loss. I think you’re doing amazing! It’s hard to see it in ourselves, but give yourself the credit you definitely deserve. Keep pushing forward-you’ve got this;)
 
This is so informative. It is a blessing to know that the journey is different for each person. For pre surgery I am down 18 pounds. I start the blended diet feb 4 for presurgery. I read more than I post but I do get a lot of benefit. As individuals we are our own worst enemy. our expectations for ourself is always greater, so focus on the positives...no matter how small they may seem. Those positives are really bigger in the long run.
 
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