Destroyers

[MANDY2910]

I have been poking around other forums looking for more answers and more information regarding WLS. I believe you can never have too much information, especially with something so important. It amazes me in these other forums how brutal and nasty some of these people are to other people, including new people. We all have questions, even some that may seem obvious, but they are valid questions to the one asking. It just amazes me how negative so many people were. I dropped two of them already just because of this. Glad this group seems to be so positive and doesn’t belittle. Thank you!

 

[JudyNY]

I hear what you are saying. After all this is a support group, right? I had been in a few others as well but this was always my favorite. I'm not really active in the others anymore.

 

[suzannethemom]

I belong to three forums and what surprises me the most is the lack of discipline. So many posts of cheaters eating hotdogs and cheeseburgers and then getting defensive if anyone says something negative. The bullies come out and chastise everyone! I get that we are trying to be supportive, but how can you support bad behavior? How is that helpful? I stay out of it most of the time, but it really bugs me.

 

[MANDY2910]

I belong to three forums and what surprises me the most is the lack of discipline. So many posts of cheaters eating hotdogs and cheeseburgers and then getting defensive if anyone says something negative. The bullies come out and chastise everyone! I get that we are trying to be supportive, but how can you support bad behavior? How is that helpful? I stay out of it most of the time, but it really bugs me.

I do struggle when people do things they shouldn’t, but on the same token, I don’t do everything right either. I think it’s important to have a place to share your triumphs as well as your trials, which is what eating the wrong things is. However, there is a right and wrong way to give an opinion that doesn’t require someone to chastise, curse at, and demean someone going through a rough time. That’s where my issue is with what I am seeing.

 

[BeeVee]

And sometimes the best thing you can do is be supportive and try to offer compassion and encouragement to help them get back on track.

 

[suzannethemom]

However, there is a right and wrong way to give an opinion that doesn’t require someone to chastise, curse at, and demean someone going through a rough time. That’s where my issue is with what I am seeing.

Wow, cursing, really? How ridiculous! The problem is that none of the forums have an active moderator. I have NEVER seen a comment from a moderator, not even on this website.

 

[eladams2015]

I am on three forums, including this one. One of the other two I have "muted" because it is a lot of complaining and negativity. I honestly only stay on it because it is a requirement for being in another group for post-WLS plastic surgery. The third site is my primary go to for a number of reasons. I try to keep up here as well. These two top forums for me have different strengths and different resources.

 

[missyinacage]

I belong to three forums and what surprises me the most is the lack of discipline. So many posts of cheaters eating hotdogs and cheeseburgers and then getting defensive if anyone says something negative. The bullies come out and chastise everyone! I get that we are trying to be supportive, but how can you support bad behavior? How is that helpful? I stay out of it most of the time, but it really bugs me.

Suzanne, let me make a suggestion. Judge not .. I'm sure you know the rest. Not one of us is a perfect being who makes perfect decisions. If we were all masters of discipline, we would not have needed WLS to being with. Every single one of us failed our healthy bodies at some point. Hell, I just ate a caramel pecan patty. And that shit was delicious! lol

I will admit I get a bit of a shock when someone is trying to 'cheat' within the first few weeks. But mostly I feel bad for them. This is hard and not everyone is mentally prepared for the changes they have to make. Not every program provides enough knowledge either. Offering a struggling human being some grace and encouragement is never the wrong way to go.

So I hope if you feel the need to chastise someone for bad behavior, you try to do so gently.

 

[eladams2015]

Wow, cursing, really? How ridiculous! The problem is that none of the forums have an active moderator. I have NEVER seen a comment from a moderator, not even on this website.

The other forums I am on are moderated and have admins that to watch the interactions.