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Disappointed...

goodmanje

goodmanje

Member
I had gastric sleeve surgery back in July. With the preop diet I lost 30 pounds in the 6 weeks after surgery. Haven't lost a pound since then. I'm required to eat 800 calories or less per day. I do good for a while but then I'll lose track and have to start over. I'm still staying very close to 800. I'm having a very hard time sticking to it long term. Which is why I came to the surgery option in the first place. I've tried to stick with strict diets for years and always fail. So now I'm asking myself, what was the point of the surgery? If I could eat 800 calories or less per day over a long period of time I would have lost the weight and never needed weight loss surgery. I honestly can't figure out what benefit the surgery brings.... They keep saying the surgery is just a tool but what is the tool for? how do I use it? Because it's not making it easier to stay at 800 calories a day. In other words it's not in any way helping me to lose weight. I basically had 2/3 of a perfectly healthy stomach removed from my body and told to go on a diet....
 
The word diet is becoming a very offensive word to me. What needs to happen is to reframe the thinking process….healthy food choices. It is too easy to slip up and fall off track on a diet. Making healthy food choices for the rest of my life is the better option. The number on the scale is a guide as well as the surgery is a guide. I am back to logging/tracking my food intake since I started straying shortly after the holidays. But my biggest hurdle is exercise, I love my warm weather outdoor activities. Below zero temps are getting me down.
 
Success after surgery is not about being on a "diet." That is a horrible way for your bariatric clinic to frame it. Success is primarily about food choices, yes, but it doesn't have to be that insanely restrictive either. You should be enjoying healthy, great-tasting meals and occasional treats. You should be eating the right foods for your biology that don't raise blood sugar or insulin and provide tons of macro and micronutrients. You should have a divers selection of foods that allow you to have lots of variety.

If you are eating less than 800 calories this long after surgery, I question your doctor and dietician's competence and advice. I would surmise that you are actually undernourished and your body is protecting what it has because you aren't being allowed to eat enough. This ends up causing people to go off-track overeat and fall back into the same or similar cycle of obesity issues. In this cycle they often don't lose weight and then often regain.

You can't rely solely on the restrictive stomach size for success. It is very easy to regain unless you make the right food choices, no matter how small your stomach is. I'm not saying you are making bad choices, but you might be making choices that aren't the best for you. Each of us processes food a bit differently. That being said, you can't just count calories either. What those calories are made of is at least or even more important than how many you consume.

I would seek out a new bariatric dietician until you find one that doesn't think this process is just about eating less than 800 calories or insane restriction. You shouldn't have to be miserable.
 
WazzuCoug said:
Success after surgery is not about being on a "diet." That is a horrible way for your bariatric clinic to frame it. Success is primarily about food choices, yes, but it doesn't have to be that insanely restrictive either. You should be enjoying healthy, great-tasting meals and occasional treats. You should be eating the right foods for your biology that don't raise blood sugar or insulin and provide tons of macro and micronutrients. You should have a divers selection of foods that allow you to have lots of variety.

If you are eating less than 800 calories this long after surgery, I question your doctor and dietician's competence and advice. I would surmise that you are actually undernourished and your body is protecting what it has because you aren't being allowed to eat enough. This ends up causing people to go off-track overeat and fall back into the same or similar cycle of obesity issues. In this cycle they often don't lose weight and then often regain.

You can't rely solely on the restrictive stomach size for success. It is very easy to regain unless you make the right food choices, no matter how small your stomach is. I'm not saying you are making bad choices, but you might be making choices that aren't the best for you. Each of us processes food a bit differently. That being said, you can't just count calories either. What those calories are made of is at least or even more important than how many you consume.

I would seek out a new bariatric dietician until you find one that doesn't think this process is just about eating less than 800 calories or insane restriction. You shouldn't have to be miserable.
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Ryan where have you been? LOL I was hoping you’d chime in on this thread.
 
The word “diet” is just the word I used to describe having to eat 800 calories per day. I don’t know that the clinic every called it that. It’s a difficult thing to maintain long term just like every “diet” I’ve tried in the past. I never reach a point where I feel like I’ve eaten too much and the surgery is making me stop. I don’t try to eat large amounts. I don’t eat any sweets and don’t drink anything that has calories. So I don’t know…. I called the clinic and cancelled my future follow up appointments. I’m just going to count this as another failed attempt to lose weight and move on.
 
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goodmanje said:
The word “diet” is just the word I used to describe having to eat 800 calories per day. I don’t know that the clinic every called it that. It’s a difficult thing to maintain long term just like every “diet” I’ve tried in the past. I never reach a point where I feel like I’ve eaten too much and the surgery is making me stop. I don’t try to eat large amounts. I don’t eat any sweets and don’t drink anything that has calories. So I don’t know…. I called the clinic and cancelled my future follow up appointments. I’m just going to count this as another failed attempt to lose weight and move on.
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Oh this makes me so sad that you are thinking of giving up on your journey. I hope you find the strength to continue trying until you begin seeing progress and feel some small bits of accomplishment that ultimately add up to a big leap forward.

Please try to find a program that will work with you, and not against you. You have a chance to live this healthy new joyful life. Yes it's difficult sometimes, but it's a lot of fun too. ❤❤❤❤
 
There are hundreds of people so desperately trying to get approved for Bariatric surgery (like me). You are just giving up and throwing away this rare opportunity that you were given. It sounds to me like you were never really committed to the process because you are just throwing in the towel and acting so irresponsible.
 
goodmanje said:
Nah, I’ve never been successful with anything and should have known this would be no different. For some reason I thought the surgery would be a sort of safe guard against me from fucking up but it’s still all in my hands so It’s guaranteed a lost cause. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement though.
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While I have thoughts on the entire situation, I’m not going to be negative about it because honestly, a lot of us have lived with enough of that. I won’t be negative but I will be honest. I know someone who wanted the sleeve but couldn’t get approved in the United States because she didn’t weigh enough. She gained 40lbs and had the surgery in Mexico. All she lost is the 40lbs she gained then got upset I didn’t praise her for losing weight after she commented on my weight loss.
You’re very vague with your stats. How much did you weigh before surgery? What’s your goal range? What are your goals beyond the scale? What are you doing mentally to keep yourself working towards healthy eating? Again, just being honest, you sound like you’ve got a lot of confidence issues. Were you expecting this surgery to do the work for you? It’s definitely not a magic cure, and I’m not implying that’s what you said. I’m concerned that your mindset from the beginning might not have been realistic. The sleeve only has certain amount of statistical loss, like all the other surgeries, so making sure that your loss goals are realistic is important. You’re not that far out from surgery, and I think if you committed to the process you could still be successful.
 
That is sad. But I think all of the rest of us can learn something from this defeatist attitude and how it can sabotage the possibilities and potential great outcome from this surgery. Just look at where Diane is 14 years out from surgery living her post-surgery life successfully. Live & learn is a good takeaway. ❤❤❤❤
 
KarenWV said:
That is sad. But I think all of the rest of us can learn something from this defeatist attitude and how it can sabotage the possibilities and potential great outcome from this surgery. Just look at where Diane is 14 years out from surgery living her post-surgery life successfully. Live & learn is a good takeaway. ❤❤❤❤
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I understand where you’re coming from saying Diane is 14 years out and living successfully within the boundaries of the surgery. I do not, however, understand the need for cruel and bullying behavior. Honesty can come with kindness, a kindness this person was coming here to find. There’s a right way and wrong way to hold a mirror up to people, so they can see their own truth. I myself have struggled greatly at times and have only found acceptance and understanding here. But a new comer enters, looking for much needed support, and they are not given the same? I do not understand that.
Diane and I have no love loss. I have her on ignore and wish she didn’t comment on my threads. She’s the reason I almost left the group soon after joining. Several members sent me private messages about her and how she acts like that, kind of picks someone out to bully. I have since had to send several messages to people also saying the same thing and pleading with them not to leave. I’ve reported her behavior in the past as well since she’s being so forthcoming about reporting Goodmanje for originally doing nothing wrong but expressing themself. I also don’t feel the need to put this in a private message because it needs to be transparent that some members of this group are honest in a harsh way and other are honest in a, “you need to do the work because no one else can do it for you but we’re all here for you to lean on”, way.
If this berating and bullying centric mindset is where this group is headed then I’d be better off on my own, which is sad. The majority of the people here only want the best for everyone else. This is a place where only we understand each other and what we’re going through or are about to go through.
A lot of us know people who’ve had weight loss surgery and not been as successful as they want, or they’ve failed. If one of those people came to you face to face how would you respond? What would you do when they asked you for help?
 
If this berating and bullying centric mindset is where this group is headed then I’d be better off on my own, which is sad.

3momchaos I believe this group would be in a detriment if you did decide to do so. Looking back on previous forum posts to motivate me during my struggles, yours (and a few others) have been inspiring and helpful. One of your suggestions to get the abdominal binder is why I literally purchased one after reading that thinking “ why didn’t I know this!”. In 2018 when I lost my sight, I joined a support group and let me say, many were brutal. I was told at least you have some sight (only in my right eye in my left none and you have to be one foot in front of me to see you as an extremely blurry image), but I had 20/20 vision for 38 years. One individual said they went totally blind in the span of 3 days and was cracking jokes with the doctor and for me to get over it. I smiled told everyone thank you for your help in understanding things and never went back. When I was sexually assaulted I confided in a friend who said “it happens, get over it”. I’ve learned people range from “tough love to unconditional love “ when giving their version of support. I think I would have stayed in the visually impaired group if there were more “unconditional love “ types to balance it out. My “friend” who told me to get over it, screw her, outta my life. Yes it happens, it’s no less traumatic, and it should not be normalized. I read what others say to see if it could apply to me as advice and I’m ashamed that I forget about the op in the process at times.
I think I’m digressing, point being please continue to offer port in the storm. If that’s how the saying goes.
 
3momchaos said:
Honesty can come with kindness, a kindness this person was coming here to find. There’s a right way and wrong way to hold a mirror up to people, so they can see their own truth. I myself have struggled greatly at times and have only found acceptance and understanding here. But a new comer enters, looking for much needed support, and they are not given the same? I do not understand that.
Diane and I have no love loss. I have her on ignore and wish she didn’t comment on my threads. She’s the reason I almost left the group soon after joining. Several members sent me private messages about her and how she acts like that, kind of picks someone out to bully. I have since had to send several messages to people also saying the same thing and pleading with them not to leave. I’ve reported her behavior in the past as well since she’s being so forthcoming about reporting Goodmanje for originally doing nothing wrong but expressing themself. I also don’t feel the need to put this in a priva
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3momchaos said:
I understand where you’re coming from saying Diane is 14 years out and living successfully within the boundaries of the surgery. I do not, however, understand the need for cruel and bullying behavior. Honesty can come with kindness, a kindness this person was coming here to find. There’s a right way and wrong way to hold a mirror up to people, so they can see their own truth. I myself have struggled greatly at times and have only found acceptance and understanding here. But a new comer enters, looking for much needed support, and they are not given the same? I do not understand that.
Diane and I have no love loss. I have her on ignore and wish she didn’t comment on my threads. She’s the reason I almost left the group soon after joining. Several members sent me private messages about her and how she acts like that, kind of picks someone out to bully. I have since had to send several messages to people also saying the same thing and pleading with them not to leave. I’ve reported her behavior in the past as well since she’s being so forthcoming about reporting Goodmanje for originally doing nothing wrong but expressing themself. I also don’t feel the need to put this in a private message because it needs to be transparent that some members of this group are honest in a harsh way and other are honest in a, “you need to do the work because no one else can do it for you but we’re all here for you to lean on”, way.
If this berating and bullying centric mindset is where this group is headed then I’d be better off on my own, which is sad. The majority of the people here only want the best for everyone else. This is a place where only we understand each other and what we’re going through or are about to go through.
A lot of us know people who’ve had weight loss surgery and not been as successful as they want, or they’ve failed. If one of those people came to you face to face how would you respond? What would you do when they asked you for help?
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I messed up on posting a reply before, sorry. I have been lurking for almost a year, afraid to post. Why? I am a failure. I failed my surgery. I was sleeved in February of 2021, and I have lost only 25 pounds.

Almost as soon as I got the clearance to eat regular food, I returned to my old, bad eating habits. (I never experienced a loss of appetite nor much of a restriction, though.) I drank with meals, and much of that time the drink was regular Pepsi. I didn't consume enough protein, and I didn't drink enough water or track my food.

I should have never had surgery in the first place, not meeting my insurance's criteria. I was self-pay. I had only 65-75 pounds to lose. I never realized how much hard work is needed to make the surgery work.

So why am I here? I want to have success, now, even though I made so many mistakes in the past. I recently joined Nutrisystem and with an added shake I can meet my protein goal. I realize cooking for myself is better, but not only do I hate cooking, but my job keeps me super-busy as well. I have also begun to track my meals using My Fitness Pal.

I only hope I can continue to find inspiration from this group. Twomomchaos gave me the courage to post. I am very ashamed that I didn't do what was needed to have success with the surgery. If only my hunger didn't get the best of me.
 
KayB said:
I messed up on posting a reply before, sorry. I have been lurking for almost a year, afraid to post. Why? I am a failure. I failed my surgery. I was sleeved in February of 2021, and I have lost only 25 pounds.

Almost as soon as I got the clearance to eat regular food, I returned to my old, bad eating habits. (I never experienced a loss of appetite nor much of a restriction, though.) I drank with meals, and much of that time the drink was regular Pepsi. I didn't consume enough protein, and I didn't drink enough water or track my food.

I should have never had surgery in the first place, not meeting my insurance's criteria. I was self-pay. I had only 65-75 pounds to lose. I never realized how much hard work is needed to make the surgery work.

So why am I here? I want to have success, now, even though I made so many mistakes in the past. I recently joined Nutrisystem and with an added shake I can meet my protein goal. I realize cooking for myself is better, but not only do I hate cooking, but my job keeps me super-busy as well. I have also begun to track my meals using My Fitness Pal.

I only hope I can continue to find inspiration from this group. Twomomchaos gave me the courage to post. I am very ashamed that I didn't do what was needed to have success with the surgery. If only my hunger didn't get the best of me.
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It seems like you’re going back to address those things that side tracked you. You are not a failure. You are still navigating this process. People struggle and stumble. It happens. Years of habit will take more than a few months and surgery to break. This goes for Goodmanje as well. Very few people are “perfect” everyday. Stumbling happens. To my understanding, you can always go back to basics and try again. I am sorry you are having difficulties. But you sound like you’ve recognized it and will keep at it. Good for you! It can still work for you, just a little slower the further out from surgery, but it’s not impossible. Also you lost 25 pounds, out of the 75-65 you wanted to lose, roughly 33-38% of your excess weight. The sleeve you can expect on average 60%. You’re on your way. Take deep breaths and keep plugging away.
 
KayB said:
I messed up on posting a reply before, sorry. I have been lurking for almost a year, afraid to post. Why? I am a failure. I failed my surgery. I was sleeved in February of 2021, and I have lost only 25 pounds.

Almost as soon as I got the clearance to eat regular food, I returned to my old, bad eating habits. (I never experienced a loss of appetite nor much of a restriction, though.) I drank with meals, and much of that time the drink was regular Pepsi. I didn't consume enough protein, and I didn't drink enough water or track my food.

I should have never had surgery in the first place, not meeting my insurance's criteria. I was self-pay. I had only 65-75 pounds to lose. I never realized how much hard work is needed to make the surgery work.

So why am I here? I want to have success, now, even though I made so many mistakes in the past. I recently joined Nutrisystem and with an added shake I can meet my protein goal. I realize cooking for myself is better, but not only do I hate cooking, but my job keeps me super-busy as well. I have also begun to track my meals using My Fitness Pal.

I only hope I can continue to find inspiration from this group. Twomomchaos gave me the courage to post. I am very ashamed that I didn't do what was needed to have success with the surgery. If only my hunger didn't get the best of me.
Click to expand...
It’s not about falling, it’s about getting back up! And when you’ve got a fighters mentality, you can overcome anything! I think you’ve got fight left in you!!
 
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