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Feeling a little Crazy

M

MDG97756

Member
I had Bypass Surgery July 8th. They sent me home the 9th. I’m struggling. I’m sipping and not measuring. I do not have a scale in my home thankfully. Today has been so up and down in the emotions. I’ve been crying off and on. Agitated or “hangry” as my family calls it. I don’t regret it, I’m thankful for my tool and the opportunity it’s going to give me. But i miss food! I’m so sick of water/broth! Even clear ensure drinks aren’t settling right with me! I just want to know if I’m crazy for feeling this way already only a couple days out! I thought this would hit weeks later!! My family is being supportive but they can’t stop eating because I’m around. I still have to cook for them. It just smells so good and makes me cry. Like I’m mourning. I feel so stupid :( I hope someone here can relate!!
 
Sorry to hear you are having such trouble. I can completely relate to being sickof water/broth. I had my surgery on June 17th and ended up staying 3 nights in the hospital because I couldn't even handle anything not even water because of nausea. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. I had a 3 week pre-op of just shakes and a few raw veggies. Then when I came home I was on clear liquids for 2 more weeks. By the time I had my pre-op exam I was able to tell them how I needed some "real food" to get the protein in. I was put on the pureed, very soft foods diet. Made all the difference in the world! Did you have your post op appointment yet? I lost about 30 lbs on the pre-op diet and another 25 lbs. before going on the regular food so at least it is worth the struggle. Hope you can get past this point because I know I questioned myself several times when I started feeling bad. Also talking to my therapist worked wonders. Good Luck!
 
Hi! Thank you! I only had 3 days of clear liquid diet pre-op. I only lost about 11lbs and fluctuated in that 11lbs the whole 6months pre-op. I have not been scheduled for my first post-op visit yet. I’m so sorry to hear about the struggles you had for your surgery. Are you getting to a better footing now? I cannot imagine having been thru all that! You are very strong my friend!! I’m hoping to get a new weight in this week sometime with my surgeon. I just had my first protein shake and it was sooo much better than clear liquid! It helped take my edge off! Just didn’t expect emotions to run so high this early on!
 
MDG97756 said:
I had Bypass Surgery July 8th. They sent me home the 9th. I’m struggling. I’m sipping and not measuring. I do not have a scale in my home thankfully. Today has been so up and down in the emotions. I’ve been crying off and on. Agitated or “hangry” as my family calls it. I don’t regret it, I’m thankful for my tool and the opportunity it’s going to give me. But i miss food! I’m so sick of water/broth! Even clear ensure drinks aren’t settling right with me! I just want to know if I’m crazy for feeling this way already only a couple days out! I thought this would hit weeks later!! My family is being supportive but they can’t stop eating because I’m around. I still have to cook for them. It just smells so good and makes me cry. Like I’m mourning. I feel so stupid :( I hope someone here can relate!!
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Congratulations on your successful surgery. I had RNY in March 2020- I had 4 weeks of a liquid pre-op diet and four weeks of fluids for the first month post-op coupled with Covid lock down. What you are going through is normal. For me it was the hardest part!! I also cook for my family who eat non-stop. Once you can chew soft foods and begin to see progress it gets so much better!! You are adjusting to drastic physiological and psychological change. Be kind to yourself. This group is a fabulous support- reach out when you have any questions or need that bit of extra support :)
 
I was fortunate to have a son who loves to cook and living at home. I still cook, but I'm keeping my eyes on the prize which keeps me from going back to old habits. Get someone else in the house to do most of the cooking and take the freed up time to go outside and walk. If the others don't cook, they will get hungry. (Hunger will teach you to cook!) Offer to HELP with the cooking. Teach them how to cook. Stay strong.
 
gzar said:
Wow, that seems brutal to have to continue your same cooking habits while forcing yourself to not eat any of it. I imagine it being similar to an alcoholic trying to go sober while working as a bartender.

Congrats on your surgery!
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This! I do not plan on cooking for my family for at least 2 weeks post op, probably 3 realistically. Not just because I’ll be tired and recovering, but because I don’t want to cook food that I can’t eat. When I can get to regular food, they’ll be eating a lot more like I will, not in portion size, but I’m preparation. I’ve already told my family who wants to help that the biggest thing they can do is send easy meals for my husband to heat up. My sisters already planning on making a huge batch of taco soup for them.
 
dianeseattle Thank you! I appreciate that a lot! We have support groups or anything open locally right now and they have not opted for zoom meetings yet. Me and my mom are going to try going outside today and see how I do for a little walk out. Hoping it helps me some.
 
Yea I am the only one in our household that cooks (hubby can bbq on his days off). My mom will toss chicken on a baking sheet n rice in a pot — that is the extent her on her help. If I try to show her a meal setup - it’s drama. My 13yro nephew at least can mostly feed himself - he is ok with frozen pizza/burritos/cup of soups. But my 4yro niece & my hubby are rather picky eaters. I cried over the food the other day — it’s like I can smell it differently. My hubby just said “well you chose this, not us.” I can honestly say that hurt worse than anything. Yes I chose this and it’s harder than I realized. But in my head I see so many good things that could be outcomes from this if I just have some strength and support behind my decision. My hubby has health issues as well, to where diet changes could help him. But idk. I’m being good and not screwing myself out of this chance. But the emotions are already kicking my butt. And yes it’s like an alcoholic being a bartender!!! I think I’m going to have to find a way to excuse myself for a while when they eat. Get away from the temptation. Thank you allll so much for not making me feel insane!
 
3momchaos said:
This! I do not plan on cooking for my family for at least 2 weeks post op, probably 3 realistically. Not just because I’ll be tired and recovering, but because I don’t want to cook food that I can’t eat. When I can get to regular food, they’ll be eating a lot more like I will, not in portion size, but I’m preparation. I’ve already told my family who wants to help that the biggest thing they can do is send easy meals for my husband to heat up. My sisters already planning on making a huge batch of taco soup for them.
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My sister was supposed to come up within a couple days of me being out of surgery. To help out with cooking/cleaning n her kiddos that were staying for summer. But she has so much life drama that she has pretty much flaked by not answering. I had hoped she would relieve any food temptation for me like ur saying! U have a great idea with those preprepped meals!
 
I so feel for you having to retain cooking duties :( ...I'm fortunate in that I'm single so I don't have that added complexity. I'm 4 weeks post-op with an RYGB and thankfully recovering well... however, what you said about 'mourning' is exactly right... you ARE grieving... the loss of the life style before you made this choice... it may have been unhealthy but it was what you knew...my therapist put it this way and I agree, I've also been having 'little funerals' for all the things I can't eat like I used to and yes it makes me sad.....this is normal and grieving for things past will happen...but the key is to remember that the choice you made to have surgery will bring a new, revitalized and healthy YOU...let yourself grieve a little, but try not to get lost in it...definitely get out for 3-4 mini, 10 min walks each day... and as I'm finding, try turning the little funerals into Irish Wakes (which are more fun) as you focus on the changes you'll be experiencing down the road... successes will come... you WILL start feeling better and this journey is one to a more healthy and longer life!!! Good luck friend!
 
MDG97756 said:
Yea I am the only one in our household that cooks (hubby can bbq on his days off). My mom will toss chicken on a baking sheet n rice in a pot — that is the extent her on her help. If I try to show her a meal setup - it’s drama. My 13yro nephew at least can mostly feed himself - he is ok with frozen pizza/burritos/cup of soups. But my 4yro niece & my hubby are rather picky eaters. I cried over the food the other day — it’s like I can smell it differently. My hubby just said “well you chose this, not us.” I can honestly say that hurt worse than anything. Yes I chose this and it’s harder than I realized. But in my head I see so many good things that could be outcomes from this if I just have some strength and support behind my decision. My hubby has health issues as well, to where diet changes could help him. But idk. I’m being good and not screwing myself out of this chance. But the emotions are already kicking my butt. And yes it’s like an alcoholic being a bartender!!! I think I’m going to have to find a way to excuse myself for a while when they eat. Get away from the temptation. Thank you allll so much for not making me feel insane!
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Man, you are, for real, a badass! You should not be down on yourself for being emotional. There's a reason we all had weight issues begin with. And emotional eating usually plays at least some part in that. (that's why it's called Comfort Food) What I would do, if I were you, is take this opportunity to search and try out new, healthy recipes that you can also eat, once you are able to actually have food again. No one in your household may be able to cook, but you are not required to feed them all the same foods that you miss so much. As for "you chose this, not us". That is hurtful, but true. But we ALL make choices. You can choose the foods you cook. They can choose to eat healthier with you or find something on their own. Even the 4 year old. Once you start looking, you'll be amazed by the substitutions to make the things you eat healthier and still tasty. Even though you're emotional now, you are still sticking with what's best for you. You should be SO proud of yourself.
 
I did the same thing 5 days out. Cry it out, it's ok. I was mourning my old habits and "freedom.' I had a tantrum and everything because I wanted something to chew. Everyone I think goes through it. What helped me was having soupy mashed potatoes. I felt like a human again simply because it wasn't a liquid in my eyes. You will get through it
 
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