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Feelings

3momchaos

Member
I’m having...feelings. I’m not even exactly sure how to describe them. I don’t want to say I’m depressed about preparing for the surgery, because I am seriously ready for it. I’ve stopped drinking with meals, my protein and water intake are good, and I’ve got a lot of my post surgical plans handled. I have my EKG tomorrow, and maybe I’m just worried about that being a problem even though I’ve never had heart issues. It’s the last big hurdle for insurance. I’ve got a lot of other stress right now, so I might just be in a bad mind frame. Like anything that can go wrong will. I know that there are people who have a lot more struggles and hoops to jump through to qualify for surgery, and might not have the support that I do, so I know how fortunate I am. Maybe it’s just regular presurgical jitters. When I’ve had surgery in the past it’s been very quick to diagnose and schedule. This extended time between starting, while great for helping me physically and mentally prepare for WLS, might be bothering me in terms of thinking about surgery in general. I am ready to complete the next step of my weight loss journey, but for some reason the excitement has worn off. Anyone else have this?
 
I know exactly what you are feeling or at least close to it. When my surgery was originally scheduled pre pandemic in March, I was very excited to begin on this journey. As most of you know, my surgery got cancelled 2 days before the day. I was on the end of my pre surgery diet and really ready for the surgery. At the time, I didn't realize how serious this would become and was extremely disappointed. Then, my second surgery date in April never happened. Well, I lost most of my enthusiasm. When I was called and scheduled my surgery due to elective surgeries being allowed again, I thought that this would eventually be cancelled too. Naturally, I didn't get my excitement level up again figuring it would be cancelled too. But, the 3rd time a charm (so far) as my surgery is planned for Monday. I have completed all the Dr's requirements. I had my pre-surgeon visit, pre-admission tests and yesterday my Covid 19 test. Friday, I will get a call from the hospital with a time and maybe then I'll get excited again!! I probably won't sleep all weekend and be up with jitters and think of all the things that I should know. Hang in there, you have been so active on this board and helpful to others, you'll do fine.
 
I was also cancelled due to the pandemic and so became very worried that surgery wasn't going to happen for me. However, once I got scheduled for real, I had a hard time finding that same excitement I had had for all those previous months. I don't know if it was due to the pause or what but I was actually driving to my surgery trying to decide if I was even going to go through with it. Surgery just seemed so extreme, in those moments. Had I tried hard enough to lose the weight 'naturally'? Since I was already losing, couldn't I just carry on as is? Even right before surgery, I was more scared than happy. Everything went great and I am SUPER happy that I didn't talk myself out of it. You've worked really hard to get here. You have researched and prepared to the best of your ability. Don't let second thoughts or weird last minute apathy change your goals. You'll do great.
 
I went through many feelings like that pre-surgery. I was worried that something would pop up and put everything on hold (well, the pandemic already did, but I felt like there would be more). It's pretty rare for something to put a stop to the surgery. If potential concerns haven't already been brought up by your health providers, it's unlikely that anything will get in the way. If something does come up, it is probably something that can be resolved. There are always outliers, of course, and unfortunate things do come up for some people, but try not to worry much, even if there is a delay. It will come around when the time is right and you'll do well.
 
Everything went well with my EKG even though the nurse gave me guff about my primary needing to do it. She said she’d never heard of an insurance mandating who did the EKG and just couldn’t understand why the surgeon couldn’t do it. I explained that it was an insurance requirement for the primary to do it (unless I was under cardiac care) because that’s my established provider. My primary on the other hand is totally psyched about everything I’m doing. She’s really bubbly and sweet, so she was happy to do it. Looks like that was my last big hurdle. 2 more appointments and then off to the insurance!
 
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