Hey, Linda. I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I think you have to find your own "sweet spot" for calories and carbs. My nutritionist actually suggests 1000 calories a day and basically keto. Or taking it down to 800 if I wanted to lose a few more pounds. That would not work for me, as I am a fully grown, active human being. She did suggest I go with a macros count of 35% of my calories from Carbs, 35% Protein and 30% Fat. I try to stick to that and when my protein is up, I'm done for the day It keeps both your calories and carbs in proportion.
I do agree that it's much better to plan your meals than track after the fact. My best days are when I plan out my meals and put the entire day in before I ever take a bite. (well, after breakfast because I eat the same thing every day.) That gives me the entire layout and I can adjust to those macros numbers where I need to. Dinner high in carbs? Change what I'm having for lunch. Or adjust how much dinner I am going to have.
Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Many of us are emotional eaters. We may have to learn to control our drive to do so but no one is perfect. Sometimes we ALL get into our heads and struggle with regaining control. You can do it.
Using my nutritionist recommendation for ME:
1000 calories a day would give me:
350 calories from carbs, 350 from protein and 300 from fat.
Each carb has 4 calories per gram, as does protein. Fat has 9 calories per gram.
So in this example, you could be getting 87 grams of protein, 87g of carbs and 33g of fat.
350 calories/4g per calorie = 87 grams of protein & carbs
300 calories/9g per calorie = 33 grams of fat
You can do the same math for any daily calorie intake and macros combo that is recommended for you. Hope this helps a bit.