How to support a friend Post-op

[friendinrecovery]

HI,

I am not getting nor have i had a surgery. But I have a close friend who is getting Bariatric surgery this summer and I want to know how best to support her. She's married to a man who's VERY busy with work, they have a young child and she is successful small business owner. She and her husband also have no family nearby (they are many hours flights away). Life is very busy for her and she has said she will definitely be needing support.

But having never had this surgery or know anyone that has, I'm unsure what is the best thing for me to do.

What are some of the things that you needed help with after surgery? What about months down the road? Anything you wish you had asked for or thought that you could've needed? Any specific tasks that you now look back on as being surprisingly difficult?

Thank you so much for any insight you can offer.

 

[JudyNY]

She is so lucky to have a friend like you who is researching on her behalf on how to best support her! Kudos to you!!

It sounds like she has a busy life and sometimes that means life will trump her personal needs at times, so try to remind herself that she needs to put herself first especially the first 6 months. It doesn't mean she will neglect everything else or is being selfish, but that for the time being she needs to concentrate on self-care.

Part of that self-care should include a support group other than family/friends. While they (YOU) are super important, one of the tools of success is to surround yourself with other WLS patients. Please try to convince her to join this group. She can be here any hour of the day, all at her convenience. She will get encouragement, support, ask questions to those who have gone through the process. In person support groups have their place too but honestly after doing both, I find this group to be far more beneficial. And we will welcome her with open arms!

And don't doubt yourself on your position of offering support. Sometimes just lending an ear and/or cheering her on speaks volumes.

Here are a few other places on the web that I would direct her to which I found to be very helpful.

Unjury Protein and Resources for Bariatric Patients Click on the resource section for classes and resources.
Dr. Matthew Weiner He is a weight loss surgeon that has loads of informative videos
My Level 10 Life Erin Branscom has been through this surgery and has tons of information on her website and on YouTube.

Thank you for reaching out to us. You might find it beneficial to read through some of the posts here. We don't sugarcoat anything. There will be tons of success stories but also stories of people who have had difficult surgeries or disappointment with their results. Sometimes the latter is only their perception while they are actually within the average weight loss rate! So often we have to remind others and ourselves that things take time but it is all worth it in the end!!!

 

[3momchaos]

You’re a very awesome friend! Helping with laundry, meal prep for the hubby, bone broth for her, yard work help if she has a yard, and just some of the basics that a women might need help with after having a baby. I think it’s very kind and wonderful for you to be supportive of her choice and help with aftercare.

 

[Roni]

Listening is very important, just having someone to vent to without trying to fix things are important

 

[missyinacage]

She shouldn't actually need physical support for very long, assuming she has no complications. However, it is WONDERFUL to have someone who actually takes the time to learn about the surgery, the post op diet etc that she can talk to. In addition to listening, you can ask questions and just be non-judgmental.

 

[Kcuster83]

I don't know, I haven't had my surgery yet but I wanted to drop mad love for you! This a is a life changing life long process, readjusting everything you know or thought you knew. There is so much to learn, I read every day and learn new things. I have a VERY small support system but that support system seems to be a strong one. I guess I will know soon enough. Good for you for being the best kind of friend a person needs!!!