I take offense! Well, maybe defense.

[WWWindy]

Offense, defense, such grammatically similar yet different terms.

I was just reading another thread and the "cheat" came up. It makes my blood boil. Why is it that non-Bariatric people think bariatric surgery is so easy, so shameful, such a big cheat! Cheat? We all know it is no such thing that we still must follow the rules (and not cheat) or we won't just gain a few pounds but we will become physically ill.

If we break the nutrition rule or the water rule or the protein rule we can't just exercise harder or run farther to compensate. The reactions to the breaking of the rules could have a lifelong effect. The affect of all the negativity is to make me secretive, not sharing my hard work. So it becomes a viscous circle. They criticize what they don't understand and I don't share because I know they'll never understand.

Thank you for letting me vent. With my upcoming surgery this topic has me wondering again just how I can share and who I can share with. Guess that puts me on the defensive. lol

 

[3momchaos]

I totally agree. My family and friends never alluded to this being the easy way out because I never let them. I explained everything so well and so in-depth that they realized that this is probably the hardest thing I’ll have to do. However, I’ve decided that I’m not going to tell anyone else, even if they ask, because it’s no ones business but mine, and I will definitely get heated in explaining to ignorant people how this is not easy! Woo, now I have to calm down

 

[Bill S.]

Easy ? I don’t think so months of classes, 6 months for me all kinds bloodwork, see ing a psycologist , losing weight before surgery, pre op diet , post op diet, the surgery itself, eating small amounts, dumping , pain after surgery . I could go on . It’s not easy . I’ve had friends who have said it was the easy way out too . From my experience it’s not

 

[missdarmitage]

It is definitely hard for someone who has never felt our pain to understand. Some people will come around. My sister is one such person. When I originally started looking into the surgery about 9-10 years ago she didn't understand. She made me feel worse about myself and it was very disappointing. When I started looking into it again a year and a half ago, I was terrified to tell her. But I went ahead and cringed as I awaited her response. She had watched me struggle with all the diets and exercise plans from the first look into it until my last one. And amazingly enough, she understood and became my biggest supporter. She still checks in on me multiple times a week to give me a pep talk if I need it, or an ear to listen if I need to vent, or simply to smile and congratulate me with any of the victories I experience along the way.

On the other hand, you have people like a former coworker of mine that stuck her nose into a private conversation and found out I was having surgery. She did that "oh that sucks" head tilt and said how sorry she was for me. I simply looked directly at her and asked why. She didn't know what to say. So I took that moment of speechlessness and set her straight about what it meant to me. She remained speechless and just walked away. I still don't know if she was that way because she felt the surgery was shameful or if she was an idiot who simply didn't know what the surgery actually was. Either way, her opinions weren't going to make a difference in my choice for my life.

 

[Brenda2010]

Offense, defense, such grammatically similar yet different terms.

I was just reading another thread and the "cheat" came up. It makes my blood boil. Why is it that non-Bariatric people think bariatric surgery is so easy, so shameful, such a big cheat! Cheat? We all know it is no such thing that we still must follow the rules (and not cheat) or we won't just gain a few pounds but we will become physically ill.

If we break the nutrition rule or the water rule or the protein rule we can't just exercise harder or run farther to compensate. The reactions to the breaking of the rules could have a lifelong effect. The affect of all the negativity is to make me secretive, not sharing my hard work. So it becomes a viscous circle. They criticize what they don't understand and I don't share because I know they'll never understand.

Thank you for letting me vent. With my upcoming surgery this topic has me wondering again just how I can share and who I can share with. Guess that puts me on the defensive. lol

There are many of us (including me) who only disclosed to a couple people because of this ignorant point of view. There are still only 4 people in my life who know I've had surgery. These are the closest people in my life who would never judge and understand the pain I was in living in my obesity.

 

[Taxman]

I have been very lucky to not have had any significant bad side effects. That being said, it ain't easy. Yeah the weight has"fallen off", yeah, I have been able to eat most foods (after the initial limitations) but I have been walking around the neighborhood like crazy, living on protein shakes and bars, not being able to eat "socially", and have my life focus being enough protein and water, then veggies, then enough calories to keep fueled without going overboard. The tracking is not a fun task. What's made it "easy" is the support from friends and family (though not my wife ). The support here is the dessert in my life. Thank you all.

 

[WWWindy]

I really love hearing from everyone. My dear husband is my biggest supporter. He says it's because he has watched me for years work and struggle, take pills, buy special food and never achieve my goal. I love that man. My dearest friend may or may not understand. I've decided I will share with her and allow her to react as she will. I guess that will tell me how true of a "sister" she is to me. And as several of you have said, everyone else can just can it 'cause they're not getting told unless I have to tell them off! Oh the power I feel right now.