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It Is Real

Texnoble

Member
Believe it or not, no matter how wonderfully in control you feel over your nutrition, the emotional entanglement with food is there! I am 7 months out from my sleeve. I'm down 77 lbs. That's reasonable since I don't exercise. A couple times since my operation we have gone out for a burger. Took a couple bites of my husband's, and I'd be satisfied. I'd get a taste and I was full. But yesterday, I got my own and ate it like a demon-possessed beast! I ate without pausing to breathe. My demon said, "Keep going, you can't stop even if it hurts. It will only hurt a little." My brain said, "You fool, it's just food, put it down and chew slowly." I lost the battle. I ate 75% of the burger, plus greasy onion rings. Believe me, this meal scared me. I'm stressing over an upcoming trip to see relatives and I just know I was trying to escape some emotions. The fight to use our tool properly is real. We can't let our guard down! We really must eat mindfully. Thanks for listening. I had to get this confession off my chest!
 
Believe it or not, no matter how wonderfully in control you feel over your nutrition, the emotional entanglement with food is there! I am 7 months out from my sleeve. I'm down 77 lbs. That's reasonable since I don't exercise. A couple times since my operation we have gone out for a burger. Took a couple bites of my husband's, and I'd be satisfied. I'd get a taste and I was full. But yesterday, I got my own and ate it like a demon-possessed beast! I ate without pausing to breathe. My demon said, "Keep going, you can't stop even if it hurts. It will only hurt a little." My brain said, "You fool, it's just food, put it down and chew slowly." I lost the battle. I ate 75% of the burger, plus greasy onion rings. Believe me, this meal scared me. I'm stressing over an upcoming trip to see relatives and I just know I was trying to escape some emotions. The fight to use our tool properly is real. We can't let our guard down! We really must eat mindfully. Thanks for listening. I had to get this confession off my chest!

First off Tex, 77 pounds is AMAZING, not "reasonable". Please give yourself the credit you deserve, especially since you're calling yourself out on your slipup!

You are so spot on here! How courageous of you to confess. You are NOT alone! A couple weekends ago, I saw the return of my old demon too. Smartfood popcorn showed me that he is very much alive and well. I took the bag to the couch instead of a bowl. I know better but my logic was that my pouch wouldn't allow me to eat too much. I had absolutely NO stomach issues at all and when I looked down, I killed half a bag! :(

The struggles on this journey become very different as you get further out from surgery. My first 6 months were the textbook "honeymoon" phase. Weight fell off very quickly... I never felt hunger... my stomach wouldn't tolerate bread, pasta or baked goods... dare I say it was almost easy? Now just a little over a month later, my stomach tolerates everything and as I saw with the popcorn, it's not as small as I thought. I can't simply rely on it to tell me to stop eating.

I'm sure everyone has bumps on this road but it doesn't make it any less scary. I think all we can hope for is that each time we stumble, we have the strength to dust ourselves off and make the right choice next time.

Thank you so much for sharing, it meant a lot to me, and I'm sure others. Good luck on your trip, I hope it goes better than you expect. :)
 
First off Tex, 77 pounds is AMAZING, not "reasonable". Please give yourself the credit you deserve, especially since you're calling yourself out on your slipup!

You are so spot on here! How courageous of you to confess. You are NOT alone! A couple weekends ago, I saw the return of my old demon too. Smartfood popcorn showed me that he is very much alive and well. I took the bag to the couch instead of a bowl. I know better but my logic was that my pouch wouldn't allow me to eat too much. I had absolutely NO stomach issues at all and when I looked down, I killed half a bag! :(

The struggles on this journey become very different as you get further out from surgery. My first 6 months were the textbook "honeymoon" phase. Weight fell off very quickly... I never felt hunger... my stomach wouldn't tolerate bread, pasta or baked goods... dare I say it was almost easy? Now just a little over a month later, my stomach tolerates everything and as I saw with the popcorn, it's not as small as I thought. I can't simply rely on it to tell me to stop eating.

I'm sure everyone has bumps on this road but it doesn't make it any less scary. I think all we can hope for is that each time we stumble, we have the strength to dust ourselves off and make the right choice next time.

Thank you so much for sharing, it meant a lot to me, and I'm sure others. Good luck on your trip, I hope it goes better than you expect. :)
Thanks Brenda, for your kind words. Where else on Earth can you say that a meal "scared" you and people will understand? I love the support I get from this website and people like you, Brenda.
 
I am completely with you. The fear is that we will slide back into a life altering addiction! I had a dream about it the other night and woke up in a panic! Same thing happened when I quit smoking. I would have these dreams that I was smoking again and I'd wake up in a panic. The other night I dreamt I was gorging on gooey cinnamon rolls, no joke, and I woke up in fear, I thought I had done it and I could just feel all these bad things coming back. I don't have any advice, just understanding and empathy.
 
I am completely with you. The fear is that we will slide back into a life altering addiction! I had a dream about it the other night and woke up in a panic! Same thing happened when I quit smoking. I would have these dreams that I was smoking again and I'd wake up in a panic. The other night I dreamt I was gorging on gooey cinnamon rolls, no joke, and I woke up in fear, I thought I had done it and I could just feel all these bad things coming back. I don't have any advice, just understanding and empathy.
I have those dreams too!!! Wake in a panic! I still have them occasionally about drinking too. I guess when you know it's an addiction, you always have this worry that you can slip back into the depths of it!
 
It's okay. That's why we're here. We are all going to make mistakes. I am still learning too. But I would say, think of the 77lbs you've lost. Think about all the new clothes you bought, and can fit into. You have a beautiful new figure. And you can lose even more if you simply stay away from that stuff. I know easier said than done. But try to think about those things next time you have those temptations.
 
Believe it or not, no matter how wonderfully in control you feel over your nutrition, the emotional entanglement with food is there! I am 7 months out from my sleeve. I'm down 77 lbs. That's reasonable since I don't exercise. A couple times since my operation we have gone out for a burger. Took a couple bites of my husband's, and I'd be satisfied. I'd get a taste and I was full. But yesterday, I got my own and ate it like a demon-possessed beast! I ate without pausing to breathe. My demon said, "Keep going, you can't stop even if it hurts. It will only hurt a little." My brain said, "You fool, it's just food, put it down and chew slowly." I lost the battle. I ate 75% of the burger, plus greasy onion rings. Believe me, this meal scared me. I'm stressing over an upcoming trip to see relatives and I just know I was trying to escape some emotions. The fight to use our tool properly is real. We can't let our guard down! We really must eat mindfully. Thanks for listening. I had to get this confession off my chest!


Dont beat urself up over the slip up. U know where u went wrong. U can fix it. And about ur trip. Get ur mind off of it and take a day at a time. Make sure u have all u need. Vitamins and ur protein shakes. And just have fun with ur family. Dont stress out to much over it because that is when we eat our emotions. U can do this. We have to beat our own demons. And urs sounds likes it attacks when ur stressed.
 
Believe it or not, no matter how wonderfully in control you feel over your nutrition, the emotional entanglement with food is there! I am 7 months out from my sleeve. I'm down 77 lbs. That's reasonable since I don't exercise. A couple times since my operation we have gone out for a burger. Took a couple bites of my husband's, and I'd be satisfied. I'd get a taste and I was full. But yesterday, I got my own and ate it like a demon-possessed beast! I ate without pausing to breathe. My demon said, "Keep going, you can't stop even if it hurts. It will only hurt a little." My brain said, "You fool, it's just food, put it down and chew slowly." I lost the battle. I ate 75% of the burger, plus greasy onion rings. Believe me, this meal scared me. I'm stressing over an upcoming trip to see relatives and I just know I was trying to escape some emotions. The fight to use our tool properly is real. We can't let our guard down! We really must eat mindfully. Thanks for listening. I had to get this confession off my chest!

I first want to say, 77lbs down is awesome. You did it so you should totally own every part of your journey, good and bad. I truly appreciate your honesty.
 
Believe it or not, no matter how wonderfully in control you feel over your nutrition, the emotional entanglement with food is there! I am 7 months out from my sleeve. I'm down 77 lbs. That's reasonable since I don't exercise. A couple times since my operation we have gone out for a burger. Took a couple bites of my husband's, and I'd be satisfied. I'd get a taste and I was full. But yesterday, I got my own and ate it like a demon-possessed beast! I ate without pausing to breathe. My demon said, "Keep going, you can't stop even if it hurts. It will only hurt a little." My brain said, "You fool, it's just food, put it down and chew slowly." I lost the battle. I ate 75% of the burger, plus greasy onion rings. Believe me, this meal scared me. I'm stressing over an upcoming trip to see relatives and I just know I was trying to escape some emotions. The fight to use our tool properly is real. We can't let our guard down! We really must eat mindfully. Thanks for listening. I had to get this confession off my chest!
Tex’s I’m with you on the food demon. With the uncertainty of my job situation, I have been fighting those same demons.
I have good stuff in the frig, but it’s not want I want. They have all of these food delivery companies that just makes it to easy to order that triple cheese burger. So far I have won the fight. But don’t you bet yourself up over on slip. Get passed it and get back with the plan. We are here to listen not judge.
 
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