Mental health crisis in US

[Kathi_S]

I'm sure you've all noticed how many of us are struggling with stress and anxiety issues. It is not our fault. We are not flawed or weak. We are not damaged. We are not alone.

The pandemic and social distancing has had a huge impact on the mental health of the people in our country and the world in general.

People are dealing with more stress and anxiety than normal, with less of a supportive structure because of social distancing. Suicide rates are skyrocketing.

So many of you here have come to mean a great deal to me, and it breaks my heart to know you are struggling. I struggle too. Everyday. I have ongoing therapy every week. I see me therapist virtually. He is fantastic and keeps me going. I'm hoping some of you can get help too, because I believe it is crucial.

I also take medication, which may not be for everyone, but I definitely need it. Everyone's situation is different, some may be transient, some may be long-term, but no matter what it is, don't wait to get help.

My brother committed suicide in 2001. I wish he had reached out for help.

Maybe we can try to set up some kind of crisis posting, where people can get notified if someone needs help right away?

 

[JudyNY]

Kathi, I am so very sorry that you lost your brother to suicide. I worry about that all the time with my daughter. When I keep reminding her to reach out to the crisis hotline or suggest hospitalization, she hangs up on me. I am at a loss as to how to help her.

The good news is that she offered for me to go with her to her psych appointment next month. The appointments are ususally virtual but next month is in person. She said I can explain what I am noticing and voice my concerns about why he is only giving her an anti-depressant and nothing for the bipolar end of it. Something we were always warned against. Fingers crossed that she doesn't change her mind.

While I am not a doctor or a therapist, I do know a fair amount regarding bipolar. I was the co-founder of a parent support group for kids with bipolar disorder which was sponsored by MHA. We had lots professional speakers and I had learned quite a lot. We also did whatever we could against the stigma of mental health disorders and although I see it has gotten better, it still has a very long way to go. I also moderated an online support group for parents. But nothing prepares you for dealing with someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

As for me, I take medication too and not ashamed to admit it. I struggle with panic attacks if I don't, and the same medication helps with depression. Unfortunately weight gain is a side effect, but that is something I have accepted as I'd rather live with that than the panic attacks.

I've always said that we need to be on this weight loss journey working both on the inside and outside. In other words we have to work on the mind as well. I did pretty well with that for quite a long time until recently. Trying to figure out how to get that back. The best I can figure is going back to the good habits that I was doing and track myself to make sure I am keeping up with them. This goes above and beyond what I eat, how I nourish my mind and body with self-care. I know what I need to do, now I need to do it!

 

[Kathi_S]

Being part of this group is helpful too, it is a form of support, but probably not enough for most people. I am sorry about your daughter. I'm sure the social distancing isn't helping her situation either. I wish you both the best, and do hope she doesn't change her mind.

 

[missyinacage]

Kathi, this is a great post.

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

Kathi_S, I am sorry for the loss of your brother. I lost my brother in 1998 to suicide. It is still a struggle and one I keep close to me as a few years after his passing so many people told me to let go or I was stuck felt like unnecessary judging from those who could not understand. JudyNY, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. It is a tough position especially when mood stabilizers are not on board to help alleviate her symptoms. I myself have been on antidepressants for most of my life. I attempted suicide in my teens, and committed myself for psychiatric care twice, partial hospitalization, and I was involuntarily committed as well. The second time I committed myself was a year before the pandemic. I was diagnosed bipolar and given lithium and mood stabilizers and after a short period, I felt better, well I had hope for a future. Dealing with any disorder is difficult especially mental health issues because people seem to have “helpful” tips to get out of it. I’ve been told get some sun, go to the beach, party more, it’s not all that bad, smile more, fake it til you make it, etc. As if a simple cliche will eradicate years of neurological chemical imbalances, or I chose to feel horrible for absolutely no reason. For every traumatic or life altering event I’ve experienced, I joined a different support group to help remind myself I’m not alone, people are doing the best with the tools given, and they can give valuable insights into how to continue presenting your best self in the face of adversity. I also have an amazing therapist. I’ve searched for the right group and therapist to set myself up for success. I joined this group for the same reason. I know I’m not alone, some have taken this journey well before me and can be a mentor/guide, some going along with me and their fears, concerns, triumphs, and celebrations can inspire me and remind me to not take anything for granted. I’ve learned if someone I meet, friends, or family cannot understand where I’m coming from regarding my mental health issues, it’s not meant for them to support me with that. As hard as that may feel or accept, but I have other resources. I’m choosing not to invalidate my needs and that has been a wonderful gift I’ve given myself.

 

[3boysmom]

Kathi_S, I am sorry for the loss of your brother. I lost my brother in 1998 to suicide. It is still a struggle and one I keep close to me as a few years after his passing so many people told me to let go or I was stuck felt like unnecessary judging from those who could not understand. JudyNY, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. It is a tough position especially when mood stabilizers are not on board to help alleviate her symptoms. I myself have been on antidepressants for most of my life. I attempted suicide in my teens, and committed myself for psychiatric care twice, partial hospitalization, and I was involuntarily committed as well. The second time I committed myself was a year before the pandemic. I was diagnosed bipolar and given lithium and mood stabilizers and after a short period, I felt better, well I had hope for a future. Dealing with any disorder is difficult especially mental health issues because people seem to have “helpful” tips to get out of it. I’ve been told get some sun, go to the beach, party more, it’s not all that bad, smile more, fake it til you make it, etc. As if a simple cliche will eradicate years of neurological chemical imbalances, or I chose to feel horrible for absolutely no reason. For every traumatic or life altering event I’ve experienced, I joined a different support group to help remind myself I’m not alone, people are doing the best with the tools given, and they can give valuable insights into how to continue presenting your best self in the face of adversity. I also have an amazing therapist. I’ve searched for the right group and therapist to set myself up for success. I joined this group for the same reason. I know I’m not alone, some have taken this journey well before me and can be a mentor/guide, some going along with me and their fears, concerns, triumphs, and celebrations can inspire me and remind me to not take anything for granted. I’ve learned if someone I meet, friends, or family cannot understand where I’m coming from regarding my mental health issues, it’s not meant for them to support me with that. As hard as that may feel or accept, but I have other resources. I’m choosing not to invalidate my needs and that has been a wonderful gift I’ve given myself.

Totally agree about what you said about mental illness. It's a disease, it's not something I have the power to change on my own, can only treat it. And sometimes I feel like I'm losing and I'll never be "normal" and sometimes I'm ok. There was a time I experienced joy (that was my therapist's goal for me), but it's just not how I'm programmed.

 

[Kathi_S]

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "I can't help you if you choose to be miserable" from someone who is supposed to love me.

I too, have been in therapy for most of my adult life. I've been through a lot of trauma in my life, but I keep trying to let it go. I try very hard to keep a positive attitude and stay optimistic. I use humor as much as possible to lighten the mood, and as a calming method.

We all have our coping methods. Mine are evolving as I get stronger.

 

[JudyNY]

Kathi_S, I am sorry for the loss of your brother. I lost my brother in 1998 to suicide. It is still a struggle and one I keep close to me as a few years after his passing so many people told me to let go or I was stuck felt like unnecessary judging from those who could not understand. JudyNY, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. It is a tough position especially when mood stabilizers are not on board to help alleviate her symptoms. I myself have been on antidepressants for most of my life. I attempted suicide in my teens, and committed myself for psychiatric care twice, partial hospitalization, and I was involuntarily committed as well. The second time I committed myself was a year before the pandemic. I was diagnosed bipolar and given lithium and mood stabilizers and after a short period, I felt better, well I had hope for a future. Dealing with any disorder is difficult especially mental health issues because people seem to have “helpful” tips to get out of it. I’ve been told get some sun, go to the beach, party more, it’s not all that bad, smile more, fake it til you make it, etc. As if a simple cliche will eradicate years of neurological chemical imbalances, or I chose to feel horrible for absolutely no reason. For every traumatic or life altering event I’ve experienced, I joined a different support group to help remind myself I’m not alone, people are doing the best with the tools given, and they can give valuable insights into how to continue presenting your best self in the face of adversity. I also have an amazing therapist. I’ve searched for the right group and therapist to set myself up for success. I joined this group for the same reason. I know I’m not alone, some have taken this journey well before me and can be a mentor/guide, some going along with me and their fears, concerns, triumphs, and celebrations can inspire me and remind me to not take anything for granted. I’ve learned if someone I meet, friends, or family cannot understand where I’m coming from regarding my mental health issues, it’s not meant for them to support me with that. As hard as that may feel or accept, but I have other resources. I’m choosing not to invalidate my needs and that has been a wonderful gift I’ve given myself.

I am so sorry RecoveringSecretEater that you also lost your brother to suicide and that you've had your own attempt as well. Keep reaching out for help whenever you need it. I'm so glad you have a good therapist plus a good support group, both are so important.

 

[Tokash]

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "I can't help you if you choose to be miserable" from someone who is supposed to love me.

I too, have been in therapy for most of my adult life. I've been through a lot of trauma in my life, but I keep trying to let it go. I try very hard to keep a positive attitude and stay optimistic. I use humor as much as possible to lighten the mood, and as a calming method.

We all have our coping methods. Mine are evolving as I get stronger.

Beleive it or not there are people that would chose to be miserable over improving mental health...there are many reasons as to why.

 

[Kathi_S]

Beleive it or not there are people that would chose to be miserable over improving mental health...there are many reasons as to why.

I understand that, but people who want to be miserable aren't actively seeking ways to improve.

 

[Tokash]

I understand that, but people who want to be miserable aren't actively seeking ways to improve.

My point being, this is why many people ask/say that comment...while still not appropriate. Additionally everybody's level of "actively" is different. Many will go to therapy but not actually engage. That's a small step of active but not a fully active participant in their own well being.