Hi, Raylene,
You are due Congratulations on so many levels! You gifted yourself with weight loss surgery. You have now identified where you are and what's wrong (as far as you're concerned) with it, and you have taken first action steps to fix it. After all, you came here, didn't you?!
Both Tom and Karenina make important points.
Seems to me, maybe the very best thing you can do for yourself is to get yourself to a bariatric surgery support group. Now. Not next month. Not next week. But now, just as soon as you can locate one. (If you're lucky enough to have more than one readily available, just pick one; if you don't like that one, find another.) There's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Many wls patients have been in your shoes.
Deal with where you are now. It is what it is. You can't change what has gone before. You can sure seize control of what comes next. There's no need to beat yourself up over how you got here, though I bet you already have done some of that.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and proceed from here.
There are some terrific people here, great support. That said, nothing beats face-to-face, real time support.
Please check in and let us know how you're doing.