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RANT: The nerve!

Kcuster83

Member
Sorry- this is going to be a long one!

I am obsessed with ready people stories about WLS, it is how I came across this forum. I search in all my free time and try to find new pages and read, read, read. I want to hear the good, bad and ugly. Anything that could possibly go wrong. The best and worse case scenarios. Maybe to an unhealthy level. Haha.

Anyway, I came across “bariatric facts” website which ended up being a forum support group kind of like this. I don’t prefer it, everyone just thinks they know better than the last person and it is basically a pissing contest rather than a support system. (IMO)

Regardless, I did read around the page and came across a woman’s post that I found interesting. (And pretty annoying) She was “complaining” (for lack of a better term) that because she is/was a “heavy weight” (Yes, that is what they call it on that page, which is someone who starts out over 400 lbs) That her situation was “more important” or necessary than the “light weights”. That she weighs nearly 700 lbs and that her goal weight is higher than a lot of other peoples starting weight of 250-300 lbs. She listed all of the things that she was missing out on and all of the things that those smaller people never had to deal with. Stating that they can't have lived a life as hard as her own because they have never “outgrown a car” or had to find “creative ways to clean up after using the restroom because she could no longer reach”. She literally created a list of things as to why someone of 300lbs should be grateful for their weight and that they didn’t need WLS they just needed to go on a diet.

Anyway, I am bringing this up because it bothered me. Even as someone who is starting as a “heavy weight” (400lbs) I was just completely appalled that she had the nerve to tell other people that they should be grateful for not being 700lbs and they didn’t need surgery. Who has the right? This surgery is not only about weight, but health. And I feel more so health than weight! We all have some kind of story where we went through something that we likely thought, no one else has ever had to deal with this. We all have some reason to want to better ourselves. Everyone is different, everyone carries their weight differently. Some people at 400lbs can do things that 250lb people cannot do. For example, I can touch my toes, cut my toenails, tie my shoes. I can walk up a flight of steps and barely elevate my heart rate. I am also 5’11.5” so my weight is spread across a much larger frame than someone who is 5’2”..

Point of my rant is that NO ONE has the right to tell anyone what they need or do not need. We are all in the same boat, different shapes, different sizes, different reasons. But the end goal is all the same, we are all in this together, fighting for what we want. It will be just as hard for me as it was for someone who needs to lose 75lbs or someone who needs to lose 400lbs. At the end of the day, we all have to do the same thing to reach our goals and we all have to do it for the rest of our lives to maintain it.
 
I get what you are saying but I also am trying to put myself in her shoes. It would probably be beneficial to that person and others in that size range to have an additional support group with the struggles particular to them. It may be hard for them to see people reach their goal so quickly, for example, when they have far less to lose.

But having said that, I totally agree with you that everyone deserves to have the surgery to better their health. Complaining about it the way she did isn't really fair to the others that are doing something about their weight before it escalates to be what she called a "heavy weight".
 
I get what you are saying but I also am trying to put myself in her shoes. It would probably be beneficial to that person and others in that size range to have an additional support group with the struggles particular to them. It may be hard for them to see people reach their goal so quickly, for example, when they have far less to lose.

But having said that, I totally agree with you that everyone deserves to have the surgery to better their health. Complaining about it the way she did isn't really fair to the others that are doing something about their weight before it escalates to be what she called a "heavy weight".
That is fair, although a slippery slope. There is always going to be something that one person can do that another can't. Regardless of one's size. You would need so many specific support groups. Really, when it comes down to it the weight restricts us, in one way or another. In some way shape or form, I don't think it is right to say that my struggles are worse than yours. They are all weight related struggles just some are different than others.
 
I totally agree. I am probably considered a lighter weight at 223 pounds. However, at my height of 5' 4" my body is really stressed at this weight. I have hypertension, GERD, I am pre-diabetic and have severe joint pain. My body is constantly stressed and inflamed and struggling. Heart disease runs strong in my family. WLS could potentially save my life.
 
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