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Relationships are Harder Since Surgery

April1980

Member
So my fiance worked while I went to all my appointments for the past year, I made them for my days off of work and they never coincided with his. He was able to be out a few days when I had my surgery. Since he was unable to go to my appointments he didn't understand how difficult the process is from the beginning let alone the rest of my life. He kept making statements about how it was the easy way because I had surgery (my moms been taking care of me since surgery too so he didn't have to help since he has work) and didn't have to work at it (little did he know). I've been out and sure did take my 6 weeks because I knew how taxing this was going to be for me. Since surgery I have scheduled all my appointments on his days off and had him come to all of them including the nutritionist (so he had to make the hour and a half drive and get all the information too). I've also text him every single time I have felt nauseous, felt really sick or was having a mentally hard time dealing. Every tear I made him see via out Samsung video chat on our phones. Now he is more empathetic and more understanding because he knows that by no means is this easy at all. I'm being very understanding because this isn't just hard on me. He has been becoming more insecure and has been frequently saying that I'm going to leave him. I told him that our relationship can be a statistic and be a part of the large group of people who go thier separate ways after one or the other decides to get healthy or he can be supportive and stop being so insecure. I gained over 100 pounds since we met so it's not like he didn't meet me at a normal weight. I'm trying really hard to continue to be understanding but with starting on soft foods and feeling sick all the time I just hang up on him when he says insecure statements. I literally told him to hoo tip therapy because I can't make him feel better right now. ‍♀️
 
I find that now I can only eat tiny amounts, and I only eat extremely healthy foods, I look at what my husband consumes on a daily basis with disbelief. He’s 100lbs overweight and eats huge amounts of unhealthy foods and snacks. I also want to get out and about and stay active, while he is happy to lay in bed or watch tv! So yes, I agree with you that relationships are much harder after surgery, and we have been married 31 years!
 
My hubby eats everything and never gains a pound! He tries to support me while eating his plate of food and then the 3/4 of my plate I can no longer eat. He does try. My relationship with my mother is harder. And my sister will be here for a visit in July. I have never been smaller than her ever. It will be close this year!
 
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