dianeseattle
Member
What do you do when someone obviously doesn't like you or what you think, so they find all kinds of ways to insult or attack or disprove what you're saying? There are probably a dozen people here who really don't like me and instead of telling me or ignoring me, they write insulting posts about what I share. It's no big deal. It's very representative of life itself. I know there are many people I cannot stand, mostly public figures.
But I find that arguing with them or trying to show them up publicly always backfires. Like the old saying, "I'm rubber, you're glue, everything you throw at me bounces off and sticks to you."
I think it's completely normal to dislike someone, just as it's normal to like or love someone. What is abnormal is when it happens in a SUPPORT group. People should do everything they can to offer encouragement and hope to people who come here seeking it.
When someone subtly insults or criticize me in this group, it makes me sad, not because it's true, but because they lack the discretion to say it to me directly and privately.
Actually, there is less of that kind of stuff going on here than in any other group I've ever been part of. You've heard of "flame wars." For some reason, being able to criticize someone from thousands of miles away emboldens people to say mean things they wouldn't dare say in person.
I also realize, when someone is insulting here, that's just an indicator that they have the same kind of problem at home, and it contributes to the successes and failures they experience after WLS.
This remains the very best group I've ever joined on the Internet. We have such a broad base of members, from newcomers who are thinking about having surgery to oldtimers who don't even think about life before surgery anymore.
If I haven't said it to you directly, allow me to say it now. I enjoy your posts so much. I literally read this group before I read my email. And I also love it when someone disagrees with me. We're all unique, and I think that's where the breadth of wisdom comes from here.
Thank you all for participating in this group. If you're new, I hope you'll feel safe to speak out, because you ARE safe here.
But I find that arguing with them or trying to show them up publicly always backfires. Like the old saying, "I'm rubber, you're glue, everything you throw at me bounces off and sticks to you."
I think it's completely normal to dislike someone, just as it's normal to like or love someone. What is abnormal is when it happens in a SUPPORT group. People should do everything they can to offer encouragement and hope to people who come here seeking it.
When someone subtly insults or criticize me in this group, it makes me sad, not because it's true, but because they lack the discretion to say it to me directly and privately.
Actually, there is less of that kind of stuff going on here than in any other group I've ever been part of. You've heard of "flame wars." For some reason, being able to criticize someone from thousands of miles away emboldens people to say mean things they wouldn't dare say in person.
I also realize, when someone is insulting here, that's just an indicator that they have the same kind of problem at home, and it contributes to the successes and failures they experience after WLS.
This remains the very best group I've ever joined on the Internet. We have such a broad base of members, from newcomers who are thinking about having surgery to oldtimers who don't even think about life before surgery anymore.
If I haven't said it to you directly, allow me to say it now. I enjoy your posts so much. I literally read this group before I read my email. And I also love it when someone disagrees with me. We're all unique, and I think that's where the breadth of wisdom comes from here.
Thank you all for participating in this group. If you're new, I hope you'll feel safe to speak out, because you ARE safe here.