Stress and No Support

[Phinxy86]

Hi guys,
So I recently joined this site, I still have four months to go before I have my surgery; but I want to be ready. But I have a huge complication...no one, except the boyfriend who is deployed (and whom I’ve never actually met over the three years knowing him embarrassingly enough) seems to be remotely supportive of choices I’m making to better myself. I’m not going to a 4th of July family event...my parents completely understand and will vouch for me there, but do they care that I’m getting dentures and a sleeve? Nope. My dad actually called me selfish for being heavy, saying it’s my fault if people are embarrassed to be around me. Thanks for the ego boost that I needed dad. I suffer from anxiety and bipolar disorder, so my emotions suck the way it is, but my family are drunks and use me as an emotional punching bag too, so I get to endure that as well. I’m exhausted! I don’t have a lot of friends, because some people I considered friends used me as emotional outlets too, so my dog is my go to. I’m trying to find an outlet emotionally instead of having my anxiety get out of control or eating bad foods, as I’ve been doing so well the past week and a half. I know it isn’t that long...but I want to strive to be better and overcome this stuff!

 

[Phinxy86]

Ack! What a lot of crap to deal with. How did you get so lucky?

You've made a real commitment to your future self by deciding to have this surgery. That is like writing yourself a love letter. These people who want to use you to vent their problems can't come close to hurting you the amount you're loving you.

Having a dear animal friend is priceless. Try to relax & enjoy life, but don't be hard on yourself. Don't drag food into it. You already made the decision to be healthy & food will make sense soon. It sounds like you have enough stress, so look ahead to your future & do your best. Don't measure your successes & failures in the number of days or weeks you eat better. One day you'll look around and realise everything has fallen into place.

One day you'll look at this time and call it your "before." You'll be living your "after" and all that negativity & noise won't bug you at all. You & your doggy can just have a laugh at them all. Take a deep breath and enjoy.

Thank you for your response. Today I’m already feeling better, maybe it’s my cup of coffee, haha. I already see myself as heading towards success, I used to drink no water; now I’m drink nearly two liters a day and haven’t drank soda in four days and have little urge to do so. Have a bit of a caffeine headache, but it’s tolerable! I already feel good, but I’m scared to go out for a walk because of the agoraphobia. But I KNOW I can do this. I think the agoraphobia happened because of my low self esteem/weight/teeth anyways. Everyone who truly knows me says I have an amazing personality, I want that to shine through! I don’t want to be scared to walk around a few blocks anymore.

Quick question, do you think it’d be easier to walk at a park where there aren’t constant houses with supposed people peering through their windows but there would be more people walking on the paths? Just trying to figure out how to get out quicker...

 

[honeysgirl]

Man, that is tough stuff you are dealing with.
One day at a time and one step at a time that is all any of us can do.
Try walking both and see which one you are more comfortable with. Try not to think about people looking at you and remember that every step is a step closer to a healthier you.
Best of luck and keep us updated.

 

[Phinxy86]

I’ve always wanted to hike....bring my pup, go camping in the wilderness, etc. it’s my ideal life. Maybe I’ll try for the park first where they have some trails I can go on with my dog!

 

[Redy2go]

Hi welcome to the group! What a tough time! You sound like you are a strong woman inside. Like Diane said maybe something to listen to. Music is a good distraction as well. Fresh air and slow go. All of us have want better healthy bodies and your on the path for that! We are here for you! Keep in touch and let us know, luv how you are motivated!!

 

[ttyson]

Congratulations on choosing yourself! I agree with taking your dog walking and listening to your favorite songs with earbuds. It’s your journey. Block out negativity when possible, including avoiding your family. You have found a great place to start! Good luck!