accountability

[dianeseattle]

Does anyone have any advice for me regarding accountabilty? I have so many gifts, like knowing bad from good, giving when i can't afford it, doing the dirty work like picking up a cat or a dog carcass that's just been hit by a car, stepping into a domestic violence situation to stop it, shit like that.

But I lack self-accountability when it comes to cleaning, washing dishes, showering, doing laundry, organizing, meeting deadlines. I read with loving envy how people go out for walks while dinner cooks, how others create gatherings, how they take resonsibility when no one else will.

I have boxes of papers I need to sort out. They seem to breed and take over. I packed up my possessions intending to move on NOVEMBER 2019. when that didn't happen I left them in storage and pay $105 every month to keep them there.

I'm not sure advice will help. I think I need a people to make it better. I've been thinking of getting a pet, but I'm still hurting from losing my Isabelle more than a year ago.

I'll be talking with my mental health professional tomorrow. I'll tell her all this. But if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

 

[JudyNY]

Diane, I too have lots of things here I need to sort out. When I was still working and pretty much ran an office, I was so organized. I have no idea why I have not stayed on top of things at home. Well part of it was my immobility when I was so heavy, so at least now I feel like I can start chipping away. But I think when things have gotten out of control it becomes overwhelming and makes it harder. It's like where do I start?

For me, starting the new year, I have been following My Level 10 Life's Habit Tracker. It may seem a little dorky coloring in habits after you do them for the day but in a way it is kind of fun and gives you the sense of accomplishment. Small things do add up! Items on my Habit Tracker aren't all things that have to do with organizing. Instead a lot has to do with keeping me on track with my journey such as reaching protein goals, water goals, etc. But one that I have on my tracker is declutter. Even if it is just a 10 minute session, it is something accomplished. To get more info on the habit tracker I am talking about, here is a video: Habit Tracker by My Level 10 Life

 

[eladams2015]

Diane, I too have lots of things here I need to sort out. When I was still working and pretty much ran an office, I was so organized. I have no idea why I have not stayed on top of things at home. Well part of it was my immobility when I was so heavy, so at least now I feel like I can start chipping away. But I think when things have gotten out of control it becomes overwhelming and makes it harder. It's like where do I start?

For me, starting the new year, I have been following My Level 10 Life's Habit Tracker. It may seem a little dorky coloring in habits after you do them for the day but in a way it is kind of fun and gives you the sense of accomplishment. Small things do add up! Items on my Habit Tracker aren't all things that have to do with organizing. Instead a lot has to do with keeping me on track with my journey such as reaching protein goals, water goals, etc. But one that I have on my tracker is declutter. Even if it is just a 10 minute session, it is something accomplished. To get more info on the habit tracker I am talking about, here is a video: Habit Tracker by My Level 10 Life

I am part of the My Level 10 Life FB group, and have used that tracker in the past. I have also used Silk and Sonder monthly journals - they include a habit tracker, along with a lot of reflection, planner, thoughts, quotes, etc. for the month.

 

[missyinacage]

Diane, I am sorry about to hear about your pet. I lost my cat, Cleo, a few years back and was devastated. I had had her for 18 years. It can be so hard to move on to a new pet, as part of you feels like it's a betrayal of the one you loved and part of you doesn't even want to open yourself up to that kind of pain again. About 18 months later, I went to a pet store to just look at kittens and there was this cat that looked like Cleo. I instantly burst into tears and was like I have to get out of here. I turned around to leave and she was staring at me. And on the side, where I hadn't looked before was her nametag. "Missy". Long story .. less long lol I now have a "Baby Missy" in my house who is spoiled rotten and brings me great joy. I'm sure you've read all the studies that show how much having an animal improves your overall well-being. I think getting a new pet might be just what you need to get yourself out of the doldrums.

 

[Mama Bella]

Does anyone have any advice for me regarding accountabilty? I have so many gifts, like knowing bad from good, giving when i can't afford it, doing the dirty work like picking up a cat or a dog carcass that's just been hit by a car, stepping into a domestic violence situation to stop it, shit like that.

But I lack self-accountability when it comes to cleaning, washing dishes, showering, doing laundry, organizing, meeting deadlines. I read with loving envy how people go out for walks while dinner cooks, how others create gatherings, how they take resonsibility when no one else will.

I have boxes of papers I need to sort out. They seem to breed and take over. I packed up my possessions intending to move on NOVEMBER 2019. when that didn't happen I left them in storage and pay $105 every month to keep them there.

I'm not sure advice will help. I think I need a people to make it better. I've been thinking of getting a pet, but I'm still hurting from losing my Isabelle more than a year ago.

I'll be talking with my mental health professional tomorrow. I'll tell her all this. But if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Darlin', being that honest with yourself and being able to share is a step forward. Like so many problems. there is no one simple answer.

I can be the most efficient well organized person to the point of compulsion and yet when I am not feeling good about myself or my life, my cluttered confused mind is reflected in my surroundings and how I care for myself. On top of that my husband is the most disorganize person I have ever known; his idea of clean up is just get it out of sight which means he then can not find it later.

What works for me is to start with small steps, chose one aspect of your life.

If it is organization then start with a box, a drawer, kitchen cabinet etc. I keep a trash can handy because I am determined to get rid of things, a box for donations, and I already have the space ready for the contents such as drawer dividers (anything from small empty boxes, plastic organizers etc. Take pride and pat yourself on the back. Even buying new hangers for the closet and organizing it in steps by season, or putting like items together like pants, blouses, etc can give you a sense of accomplishment when you open the closet door. I already have a section for clothes I can not currently wear but want to add them back as I lose weight.

Buy yourself a special shampoo, your favorite cologne for after your shower, new lipstick, etc. It is your reward for taking care of yourself.

House work goes better with your favorite music playing (mine is 60"s rock played loud or Gregorian chants [I am always an extremist]}. Just don't let it get overwhelming adding more stress in your life. Baby steps until you are getting satisfaction from the process.

Time management is an issue with me so I need a visual calendar whether it is this years' new Hummingbird one on the wall , on my phone or whatever electronic device works for you.

A pet is wonderful for getting you out of yourself, a walk for a dog, that "happy to see you response" first thing in the morning and when you return home, that forgiving never judging look of love for you.

Have fun and enjoy making yourself a priority. You take care of others (your gifts), so now is the time to take care of you. Keeping a list or pics of your accomplishments will give you satisfaction and pride. Soon these things become habits. You go girl!

 

[dianeseattle]

Mama, it's scary how much we think alike. Thanks for reaching out. Weirdly enough, I've had a productive day along the lines of this thread! Also, Missy!

I want a cat or doggy so much, but not until I can find a good living environment for a pet. And I'm not emotionally ready for another pet to die. They are loved like children by me.

 

[Rettey]

Sometimes you just need someone to be there while you are doing it. I have a hard time my self but since I got a service dog and have started getting healthy I feel like doing more.

 

[Mama Bella]

Mama, it's scary how much we think alike. Thanks for reaching out. Weirdly enough, I've had a productive day along the lines of this thread! Also, Missy!

I want a cat or doggy so much, but not until I can find a good living environment for a pet. And I'm not emotionally ready for another pet to die. They are loved like children by me.

It was a 18 months after the death of my 16 1/2 year old dog Elsa before I was even thinking I might be ready for another pet. Her loss brought back the pain of loss in other areas of my life. Even an emotion like grief can become a habit because it has been a part of your life for a while. When I understand WHY I hold on to a habit, emotion etc I can better deal with it.

After decades of buying Westies from breeders I decided I wanted to adopt. Visiting numerous shelters was good for me even though I still wondered if I was ready. On one visit, I fell in love with a pair of pleading eyes that just said. "I need you as much as you need me." During the adoption process we were told that a second dog was rescued at the same time. I had seen the other one but discarded that adorable dog because it was male. Not sure that I was willing to try training a two year old male. 9 years later I have had no regrets. We named them Rosy and Charlie after the leading characters in "The African Queen" one of our favorite movies.

 

[Yayateacher04]

Does anyone have any advice for me regarding accountabilty? I have so many gifts, like knowing bad from good, giving when i can't afford it, doing the dirty work like picking up a cat or a dog carcass that's just been hit by a car, stepping into a domestic violence situation to stop it, shit like that.

But I lack self-accountability when it comes to cleaning, washing dishes, showering, doing laundry, organizing, meeting deadlines. I read with loving envy how people go out for walks while dinner cooks, how others create gatherings, how they take resonsibility when no one else will.

I have boxes of papers I need to sort out. They seem to breed and take over. I packed up my possessions intending to move on NOVEMBER 2019. when that didn't happen I left them in storage and pay $105 every month to keep them there.

I'm not sure advice will help. I think I need a people to make it better. I've been thinking of getting a pet, but I'm still hurting from losing my Isabelle more than a year ago.

I'll be talking with my mental health professional tomorrow. I'll tell her all this. But if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

You need someone to help you. If you can’t afford to hire someone, find a friend that has organizational skills. Organizers love to help! You can do something to help them too. We all have gifts! Also, Neighborhood Apps are full of people that will help you.