dianeseattle
Member
We really need to change the nature of the dialog between thin and fat.
It's all over our culture in books, movies, tv, clothes, radio shows, media releases, etc. that it's okay to make fat jokes or comedies about fat people. I'm using the word fat deliberately because that's the triggering term. Why people think it's okay to make jokes about obesity stymies me, but I must admit, I'm guilty of being part of the problem. I used to be thin and attractive, though I always thought I was ugly because of my eating disorders.
Anyway, this is what happened to me. When I was in Overeaters Anonymous, years before RYGB. I was sharing in what I thought was a safe place and I mentioned that I was so fat, front and back, that it was almost impossible to wipe my butt.
I'll spare you the details, but a few women in the group came up to me after the meeting and shamed me about having that problem. Now, I couldn't believe this isn't a problem a lot of obese people share, so it felt REALLY mean to me. To this day it's the meanest thing I can ever remember hearing about the fact that I was obese. And of course, I did figure out what I needed to do to stay clean, but in other parts of the world it's so common to have a dirty crotch that toilets are equipped with tubular bidets that wash you clean.
That's a positive way to deal with a common problem without being ashamed to admit you have a problem.
So I wondered if others here have had mean things said to them about their weight. I feel pretty sure we all have. And we need to make insults like this as inappropriate as we do with sexism or racism. They are not about something bad we did. They are something about a problem we have that isolates us from others. It's about "who we are," or at least it feels like that.
It's all over our culture in books, movies, tv, clothes, radio shows, media releases, etc. that it's okay to make fat jokes or comedies about fat people. I'm using the word fat deliberately because that's the triggering term. Why people think it's okay to make jokes about obesity stymies me, but I must admit, I'm guilty of being part of the problem. I used to be thin and attractive, though I always thought I was ugly because of my eating disorders.
Anyway, this is what happened to me. When I was in Overeaters Anonymous, years before RYGB. I was sharing in what I thought was a safe place and I mentioned that I was so fat, front and back, that it was almost impossible to wipe my butt.
I'll spare you the details, but a few women in the group came up to me after the meeting and shamed me about having that problem. Now, I couldn't believe this isn't a problem a lot of obese people share, so it felt REALLY mean to me. To this day it's the meanest thing I can ever remember hearing about the fact that I was obese. And of course, I did figure out what I needed to do to stay clean, but in other parts of the world it's so common to have a dirty crotch that toilets are equipped with tubular bidets that wash you clean.
That's a positive way to deal with a common problem without being ashamed to admit you have a problem.
So I wondered if others here have had mean things said to them about their weight. I feel pretty sure we all have. And we need to make insults like this as inappropriate as we do with sexism or racism. They are not about something bad we did. They are something about a problem we have that isolates us from others. It's about "who we are," or at least it feels like that.