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Back from vacation

JudyNY

JudyNY

Member
Had a wonderful vacation on the Outer Banks of North Carolina with my siblings and spouses. I got in so much exercise while there that I beat my record of steps and surpassed 13,000! That is huge for me as prior to surgery I was immobile and would never have been able to walk the beach, let alone climb all the stairs on the rental home. We went on a hike through the Audubon Sanctuary, walked the beach many times and went swimming in the heated pool. The beach is my happy place so I loved every minute of it.

Unfortunately once I got back, sh*t hit the fan and my daughter and granddaughter is going to move back to our little house later today. The last couple days I have been stress eating and need to get a handle on this. I hope we can find them an apartment soon. My daughter battles mental health issues so living under one roof is a challenge. I need to refocus on my own needs as well as hers. This will be my biggest challenge post surgery and I don't want to mess up all the progress I have made. Just now I had to turn off my phone because she is stressing me out with her drama. Nothing like wiping out all the good a vacation does to get hit in the face with stress. At least I can look at my pictures and mentally go back to my happy place.

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I’m so happy that your vacation was nice, and so sorry about all the drama. Can you take walks when things start feeling overwhelming? Not to leave the situation, but to calm your mind? Try to keep trigger food out of the house, so if you have to lay the hammer down on what foods come into the house do it! You can be assertive with your needs and still care about your family.
 
Beautiful photos. Sounds like it was wonderful. I'm glad you got to see and see your family. I'm sorry to hear your daughter and granddaughter are having issues, and very sorry that those issues have become yours. Parenting is not easy and never ends lol When it is our children, I think it is almost an automatic thing to put their needs before ours, even when they are grown. DO NOT DO THIS! You have worked so hard to get to this great place you're in right now. It is important to get them settled, yes. Try to remember it is equally as important to keep yourself settled. As you stated, you were immobile and now you can take 13000 steps a day. That is so important!! Like 3mom, take your moments when you need them, however you can get them. Let's be honest, this journey has never been easy. You can do this, too.
 
Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement. Going to go get them in just a few minutes. Yes, walks are a great get away when I need them. I never mind having my granddaughter here, she is 13, I am very protective of her. But her mom and I can clash a lot. She has started to drink again and that is not good, nor will it be allowed here. Our relationship is always better when we are not under one roof. Taking a deep breath....
 
Snapdragon said:
Your daughter and granddaughter are so lucky to have you in their lives. I’m guessing that you feel helpless to help her fairly often, but even if you can’t fix it, being there is huge.
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Thanks, yes there is a limit to how much I can do to help. She has come close to inpatient hospitalization a few times in the past couple of years and then changes her mind. She has had suicide attempts and/or ideation. When she is really at a low point she wants to disown her daughter but she really doesn't want to do that, it is her way of punishing herself. I am going to go read that post you sent me before I left for vacation. I know there was a lot of good advice in it. Thank you Snapdragon!
 
You are incredibly strong. I mean, who walks 13,000 steps? So you are related to Wonder Woman evidently lol! Those pictures reminded me of time spent on the DelMarVa peninsula with my mom so many years ago. Dealing with your daughter can be stressful I'm sure, but being there for your sweet granddaughter & showing her some much needed stanility is the real silver lining. Prayers & blessings for you & your family.❤
 
JudyNY said:
Had a wonderful vacation on the Outer Banks of North Carolina with my siblings and spouses. I got in so much exercise while there that I beat my record of steps and surpassed 13,000! That is huge for me as prior to surgery I was immobile and would never have been able to walk the beach, let alone climb all the stairs on the rental home. We went on a hike through the Audubon Sanctuary, walked the beach many times and went swimming in the heated pool. The beach is my happy place so I loved every minute of it.

Unfortunately once I got back, sh*t hit the fan and my daughter and granddaughter is going to move back to our little house later today. The last couple days I have been stress eating and need to get a handle on this. I hope we can find them an apartment soon. My daughter battles mental health issues so living under one roof is a challenge. I need to refocus on my own needs as well as hers. This will be my biggest challenge post surgery and I don't want to mess up all the progress I have made. Just now I had to turn off my phone because she is stressing me out with her drama. Nothing like wiping out all the good a vacation does to get hit in the face with stress. At least I can look at my pictures and mentally go back to my happy place.

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Beautiful!
 
KarenWV said:
You are incredibly strong. I mean, who walks 13,000 steps? So you are related to Wonder Woman evidently lol! Those pictures reminded me of time spent on the DelMarVa peninsula with my mom so many years ago. Dealing with your daughter can be stressful I'm sure, but being there for your sweet granddaughter & showing her some much needed stanility is the real silver lining. Prayers & blessings for you & your family.❤
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Thanks Karen! I wish I walked 13,000 steps all the time! If I get half of that in I am happy! I am looking to get a small rescue dog so that I have a reason to walk. Our current dog is sweet but not good on the leash and I don't want him to escape or to pull me to the ground. He has 90 lbs of strength in him!

The girls are settling in. So far I have to say it has been calm. My granddaughter is a bit weepy. She knows I am always here for her. As long as things stay quiet, I'm good and I will adjust. Hopefully a rental will come up for them soon, the market is tough though. They are gone before you know it.
 
It's good to hear things are going smoothly. I am also a person who builds up the worst case scenario first, so I totally got your worry. And mother/daughter relationships are the whole reason "family DYNAMIC" became a thing lol My mom moved in with me in February of last year. I was dreading it; she's my mom, but it's my house, how the heck is this gonna work?!?! It has actually turned out surprisingly well. I like knowing she is here and safe and we worked out the rest of the dynamic ;) This could be a really great opportunity for growth in your relationship. And even if it's not, it sounds like you'll really enjoy some QT with the granddaughter.
 
missyinacage said:
It's good to hear things are going smoothly. I am also a person who builds up the worst case scenario first, so I totally got your worry. And mother/daughter relationships are the whole reason "family DYNAMIC" became a thing lol My mom moved in with me in February of last year. I was dreading it; she's my mom, but it's my house, how the heck is this gonna work?!?! It has actually turned out surprisingly well. I like knowing she is here and safe and we worked out the rest of the dynamic ;) This could be a really great opportunity for growth in your relationship. And even if it's not, it sounds like you'll really enjoy some QT with the granddaughter.
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Girl look at that picture!! Looking cute!
 
missyinacage said:
It's good to hear things are going smoothly. I am also a person who builds up the worst case scenario first, so I totally got your worry. And mother/daughter relationships are the whole reason "family DYNAMIC" became a thing lol My mom moved in with me in February of last year. I was dreading it; she's my mom, but it's my house, how the heck is this gonna work?!?! It has actually turned out surprisingly well. I like knowing she is here and safe and we worked out the rest of the dynamic ;) This could be a really great opportunity for growth in your relationship. And even if it's not, it sounds like you'll really enjoy some QT with the granddaughter.
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Thanks Missy! BTW, you look adorable in your new picture! Things are going okay but I am losing sight of staying on track and not eating well. I need to adjust to a hyperactive 33 year old female in my kitchen (LOL) and a 13 year old teen who has her boyfriend over today and I am cooking up a barbeque. I agreed to this because my granddaughter really needed it, she has been through a lot. But come this week I will focus more on me before I lose sight of what I have worked so hard for.

We did put in an application on a townhouse for them. Fingers crossed. The listing agent is out of the country so it may be a week or two before we here.

I'm so glad things worked out well with your mom living with you. Sounds like she respects the fact that it is your home and I'm sure she is very grateful for you letting her live there!
 
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