Waiting has me creating issues

[RecoveringSecretEater]

You have all been so welcoming since my first post. Thank you, sincerely! My surgical appointment is 8/17, I want to be approved/eligible right away…probably like so many. When I lost my sight, like a rare few from PseudoTumor Cerebri, I thought I was a failure because it was linked to obesity. But I since learned from my neuro-ophthalmologist that I have a rare form of a rare disease. Of course I’d be the one to have that, seeing how weight loss and an eye surgery slated to prevent sight loss didn’t work in my case.
Now, I am sitting waiting to learn if I’m eligible. Any other situation, I’m rock solid waiting. But now, I’m mulling over worse case scenarios and wish I had started sooner. But the reality is, I did not. The experiences I had, helped me in someway. Obesity claimed a lot of my life, but I persevered despite it. Sometimes I’m scared it will not work to my advantage all the research I’ve done regarding surgery. But I also believe that hell if I made it this far surviving, I will eventually begin to thrive. Throughout my 42 yrs, my family has supported me, ignored me, or flat out criticized my decisions. I’ve only ever needed a soundboard, never permission, it’s my life, and I have to live with it. Also, I recently listened to the documentary “Weight of the Nation@ and I refuse to allow someone to profit over my health. But getting close to the surgical consultation has me worried. I will most definitely find a team that will support me, it’s just this hospital system has records that shows my initial diagnosis, psych records, surgeries, and medical weight loss interventions. When I worked for them, bariatric surgery would have been free, but I always maintained I can did it on my own terms. I don’t fault it. One, I can’t go back in time and change that decision, but second, it may have changed my course in life, and I’m proud to have helped those homeless people and women experiencing domestic violence that I did. I may have been in a position to help them more, but who knows. But again, my appointment is far out and I’m the worst case scenario, problem solving, event prepping type prior to the event. How did you get through the “in the meantime” stage? I know I struggle. Anticipating what they may require and getting it done before they may ask. I just want a fail safe. Sorry for the info dump. But please believe my interest, value, and sincerely. I appreciate your time responding!

 

[3momchaos]

I started my process January 2020 and thought I’d have my surgery August 2020, but Covid and my insurance changed that! I had my surgery October 26,2020. While waiting, I gave myself monthly goals that would make post op life easier. A few were quitting caffeine, using a smaller plate at meals, being cognizant of how I chew and swallow, and no drinking with meals. I did a little bit of food tracking, but not much, and my surgical team wasn’t bothered by it. I talked a lot with my support system, but mostly to my husband and kids on how they could help after my surgery.

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

I started my process January 2020 and thought I’d have my surgery August 2020, but Covid and my insurance changed that! I had my surgery October 26,2020. While waiting, I gave myself monthly goals that would make post op life easier. A few were quitting caffeine, using a smaller plate at meals, being cognizant of how I chew and swallow, and no drinking with meals. I did a little bit of food tracking, but not much, and my surgical team wasn’t bothered by it. I talked a lot with my support system, but mostly to my husband and kids on how they could help after my surgery.

Thank you 3momchaos for sharing your thoughts and journey. I think for me it’s difficult when I have to navigate this part of my life’s journey alone. I’m not opposed doing so alone, it just seems more difficult when family see-saw on the subject and I have to muster the strength to see it through. Of course I will, it's just nice to have support and encouragement. I did order a bariatric journal and portion control meal plan and containers to get me going. And sadly I can lose 70lbs and still be morbidly obese and qualify, but again, everything was supposed to be experienced to help you to the next level. Hopefully I can just live until the appointment and not stress about being a candidate. Thank you again!

 

[KarenWV]

Hi I'm just 2 1/2 weeks out from having my RnY surgery. It took 11 months from my application to the wls. That time was useful to educate myself & get prepared for such a life-changing event. This was the best support group I could have found.

One thing you said was you wish you had started this sooner. I think all of us wish the same thing, but nonetheless we are here now, and that is important to remember. We can't change the past, but we can work now to reshape our future.

You are so strong, and you have faced so many challenges with courage and an inner strength & spirit that remains unbroken. After everything else you have been thru, it seems you already possess the tools you will need to be successful. Please feel free to ask questions, search previous posts for suggestions, and vent anytime you need to. Good luck!

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

I started my process January 2020 and thought I’d have my surgery August 2020, but Covid and my insurance changed that! I had my surgery October 26,2020. While waiting, I gave myself monthly goals that would make post op life easier. A few were quitting caffeine, using a smaller plate at meals, being cognizant of how I chew and swallow, and no drinking with meals. I did a little bit of food tracking, but not much, and my surgical team wasn’t bothered by it. I talked a lot with my support system, but mostly to my husband and kids on how they could help after my surgery.

After re-evaluating what you have written, thank you. Sometimes you do not realize the little tips you give to another, but once it sinks in, it has the potential to change their world. Thank you! It can be hard, but worth it. Thank you!!

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

Hi I'm just 2 1/2 weeks out from having my RnY surgery. It took 11 months from my application to the wls. That time was useful to educate myself & get prepared for such a life-changing event. This was the best support group I could have found.

One thing you said was you wish you had started this sooner. I think all of us wish the same thing, but nonetheless we are here now, and that is important to remember. We can't change the past, but we can work now to reshape our future.

You are so strong, and you have faced so many challenges with courage and an inner strength & spirit that remains unbroken. After everything else you have been thru, it seems you already possess the tools you will need to be successful. Please feel free to ask questions, search previous posts for suggestions, and vent anytime you need to. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your insights! I sometimes beat myself up over decisions, which we all probably do. Weight is one of those things that is loaded with opinions, thoughts, and trappings that do not apply to all but the majority feel it should. Thank you for expressing how you feel. I can say I don't need that validation and support, but it helps motivate you and helps, which is why I'm here. I have always had to be strong and self-sufficient in the face of adversity, and I'm slowly learning, people care and want you to succeed. Thank you!

 

[missyinacage]

It's human nature to instantly go to worst case and worry for usually no good reason. The vast majority of morbidly obese patients are eligible for surgery. I'm sure you know this. While it's a good idea to plan for the future, your time would be better spent worrying about the things that are most likely to happen. Like those things that 3mom mentioned. Make yourself a list of goals that you need or want to accomplish prior to having the actual surgery and make a plan to make those things happen. So often we plan for worst case and fail to plan for those things that we actually needed to plan for.
As for family support, you say they are going back and forth. I feel that is probably the most common situation. My family has always been supportive but they struggled with this decision. It is a truly life changing thing and changes to you and your lifestyle very often change the circumstances of your loved ones. You've went through the mental process of getting on board, allow them time to do the same. They may surprise you in the end. But even if they don't, you can be successful.

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

It's human nature to instantly go to worst case and worry for usually no good reason. The vast majority of morbidly obese patients are eligible for surgery. I'm sure you know this. While it's a good idea to plan for the future, your time would be better spent worrying about the things that are most likely to happen. Like those things that 3mom mentioned. Make yourself a list of goals that you need or want to accomplish prior to having the actual surgery and make a plan to make those things happen. So often we plan for worst case and fail to plan for those things that we actually needed to plan for.
As for family support, you say they are going back and forth. I feel that is probably the most common situation. My family has always been supportive but they struggled with this decision. It is a truly life changing thing and changes to you and your lifestyle very often change the circumstances of your loved ones. You've went through the mental process of getting on board, allow them time to do the same. They may surprise you in the end. But even if they don't, you can be successful.

Thank you missyinacage. I do need to redirect my energy and start planning ways to succeed. And thank you for pointing out my family could just be adjusting to the idea still. With some time hopefully they get on board. Thank you!

 

[Roni]

As a child I was active, in dance and tumbling. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancies of two children. When I was in my early 30 I lost weight from becoming a mom. Since I lost that weight, I was a smoker and decided to quit in 1993. That is when my weight started creeping on. After changing offices for my job to be closer to home. I went to a hostile work environment, ended up gaining nearly 100 pounds over a year. I started my journey in 2017 I was very against surgery. I had phen phen way back when and I did good on it until it was pulled from the market. So I wanted to try the medication route. The VA blocked the scripts for mental health history. I did get Victoza from local care dr. It helped but was very slow going. My Alli is the other medication, it can be obtained over the counter. I did lose but it was only 1 -2 pounds per month. After I retired I came to the realization if I continued on the path I was I would be near 80 years old before I lose even half the weight I needed to. I talked to a person who had RNY . I had never heard of it. I had worked with one person who had lap and and regained most of her weight and another who had the sleeve and regained most her weight. I did my research on RNY and Last November I started the journey to WLS. Before surgery I lost 51 pounds over three years time. Since feb 15 I have lost 52 pounds. It is work cause it is a totally different kind of eating but it is worth it. I have lost 2 clothing sizes added gobs of holes to my leather belts, and my fav is wrap a beach towels around myself and not have any skin hanging out. Hopes this helps you

 

[RecoveringSecretEater]

As a child I was active, in dance and tumbling. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancies of two children. When I was in my early 30 I lost weight from becoming a mom. Since I lost that weight, I was a smoker and decided to quit in 1993. That is when my weight started creeping on. After changing offices for my job to be closer to home. I went to a hostile work environment, ended up gaining nearly 100 pounds over a year. I started my journey in 2017 I was very against surgery. I had phen phen way back when and I did good on it until it was pulled from the market. So I wanted to try the medication route. The VA blocked the scripts for mental health history. I did get Victoza from local care dr. It helped but was very slow going. My Alli is the other medication, it can be obtained over the counter. I did lose but it was only 1 -2 pounds per month. After I retired I came to the realization if I continued on the path I was I would be near 80 years old before I lose even half the weight I needed to. I talked to a person who had RNY . I had never heard of it. I had worked with one person who had lap and and regained most of her weight and another who had the sleeve and regained most her weight. I did my research on RNY and Last November I started the journey to WLS. Before surgery I lost 51 pounds over three years time. Since feb 15 I have lost 52 pounds. It is work cause it is a totally different kind of eating but it is worth it. I have lost 2 clothing sizes added gobs of holes to my leather belts, and my fav is wrap a beach towels around myself and not have any skin hanging out. Hopes this helps you

Thank you so much Roni for sharing your experience and journey. It really does help me in my own journey and putting it all in perspective. Thank you so much again!