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Feel like a failure

suzannethemom

suzannethemom

Member
Yesterday was my two week check up. I met with my dietician, then the exercise physiologist and finally my surgeon. I guess I’m doing everything wrong. My water intake and protein is low (32 ounces and 18 grams respectively). The dietitian told me in the hospital “Just do your best. You won’t reach the maximum amount for a while. Take your time.” But now everything has changed and I feel so much pressure to do everything perfectly.

I feel like a failure and I have so many new rules to follow. I have to disregard the 30/30 rule until I get to the soft stage. I have to add Fairlife milk to my soup and hot cereal AND add Isopure unflavored powder to reach my protein goal. I have to drink 1/2 of a shake between every meal. I have to exercise every day and rotate cardio and strength training each day because I lost 10 pounds of muscle. The exercise physiologist said if I don’t start building muscle, I will start losing hair and get really weak. I’m so frustrated right now because all I want to do it eat real food and feel satisfied. I’m so sick of eating the same three things: Cream of Wheat, watery soup and shakes. I hate all of this.
 
Man I am so sorry you are going through that. That sounds really tough - especially because it seems like you were thrown for a surprise! No one wants their dr to tell them what they are doing isn't right - it can be hard to hear - and I don't know how the delivery of the news was, but I'm sorry you are feeling down. It blows my mind that you can go through such a major surgery and you are already supposed to be excercising like that? Am I crazy?! Strength training and cardio? Good grief haha.
The good news is that you have a game plan going forward. I'm having my sleeve on June 1st and I'm learning from everything you guys are going through. I'm sending hugs!
 
Keep your head up. Focus on one thing at a time -- increase the water and protein intake like they said. accomplish that and then start the next thing of working in that exercise. Your body has just gone through a major upheaval with the surgery so your emotions right now are also on a roller coaster. Take one day at a time. You can do this, just keep reminding yourself each day.
 
You’re not a failure. You made the choice to take your life back and have WLS. It is not easy. It’s not fun. But is the tool that will get you where you want to be.

Everyone struggles with it. I’m fairly confident that no one has gone through all the changes that we chose to put our bodies through and not struggled with it.

You CAN do this! You’ve done the hard part - you made the choice to have the surgery. That’s half the battle.

There I days I hit my liquid and protein goals with no issues. Then there are days I’m not even close to the liquid goal or the protein goal. But I know that tomorrow is a new day! A clean slate! A do-over!

I know that you CAN do this!! Girl tell the poopoo people to piss off and move on! You GOT this covered my friend! I believe in you!!
Now kick ass and take names!!!
 
Well, I agree that the idea of cardio and strength training might be a bit much at 2 weeks out. Especially since your water and protein goals aren't being met. One protein shake has 30g of protein, so I'm not sure how you are missing your protein goals by so much? And are they not allowing you to count other liquids as water, until you hit the soft food stage at least? Craziness lol

If your program did not give you a guide, including meal plan suggestions for each stage, to help reach your goals, you might want to peak at the one shared by 3mom in the resource section.
 
missyinacage said:
Well, I agree that the idea of cardio and strength training might be a bit much at 2 weeks out. Especially since your water and protein goals aren't being met. One protein shake has 30g of protein, so I'm not sure how you are missing your protein goals by so much?
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My ORGAIN shake powder has 21g of protein per shake and I am only allowed to drink 1/2 cup at a time. I picked this brand because it doesn’t contain sucralose. My dietician approved it months ago. I just purchased unflavored ISOPURE powder to add to my hot cereal and soup. It ruined both. It turned to paste with little white balls that looked like cottage cheese. So that was a waste that got thrown down the drain. I’m adding FAIRLIFE milk instead and that turns out great, but it only adds about 3 grams of protein.
 
missyinacage said:
If your program did not give you a guide, including meal plan suggestions for each stage, to help reach your goals, you might want to peak at the one shared by 3mom in the resource section.
Click to expand...
Yes, I have a binder loaded with information. I’m on FULL LIQUIDS for two weeks, which allows shakes, Cream of Wheat and thinned out soups. There’s just not enough options right now, which is why it seems ridiculous of them to expect a high protein total. When I get to the puréed stage, I will have more options and things will get better.
 
I just looked at 3MOMCHAOS diet guidelines that she listed in resources. Now I’m really frustrated and depressed. Why does her program allow lots of new choices in phase 2, but my program only allows a couple of new items? It makes no sense to me. If we all had the same procedure, we should have the same dietary guidelines! See differences below. This is mind blowing to me.

MY PHASE 2
5202


3MOMS PHASE 2

5203
 
suzannethemom said:
I just looked at 3MOMCHAOS diet guidelines that she listed in resources. Now I’m really frustrated and depressed. Why does her program allow lots of new choices in phase 2, but my program only allows a couple of new items? It makes no sense to me. If we all had the same procedure, we should have the same dietary guidelines! See differences below. This is mind blowing to me.

MY PHASE 2
View attachment 5202

3MOMS PHASE 2

View attachment 5203
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It is completely frustrating that the programs can be so different. You are NOT a failure. In my opinion, the dietitian is asking WAY too much and I know I wasn’t allowed to even mention exercise, other than walking, before 6 weeks but they can go as far out as 8 weeks. You are healing, physically and mentally. Give yourself the grace you deserve and a pat on the back for making it as far as you’ve come.
 
3momchaos said:
In my opinion, the dietitian is asking WAY too much and I know I wasn’t allowed to even mention exercise, other than walking, before 6 weeks but they can go as far out as 8 weeks.
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I agree. I was totally expecting her to tell me to wait until week 4 for a full exercise routine. When I go for a walk, I burn all the calories I’ve consumed and then I feel fatigued. Yesterday I walked 30 minutes and I felt nauseous afterwards. I sat and drank water for an hour. Then I got the chills. Good times (not). My surgery buddy said “Screw them. Do what feels comfortable. You know your body.”
 
missyinacage said:
Well, I agree that the idea of cardio and strength training might be a bit much at 2 weeks out. Especially since your water and protein goals aren't being met. One protein shake has 30g of protein, so I'm not sure how you are missing your protein goals by so much? And are they not allowing you to count other liquids as water, until you hit the soft food stage at least? Craziness lol

If your program did not give you a guide, including meal plan suggestions for each stage, to help reach your goals, you might want to peak at the one shared by 3mom in the resource section.
Click to expand...
That's funny you should mention that bariatric guide. I've been referring it since I've begun my diet reset after slacking and snacking lately. It has been so very helpful.
 
suzannethemom said:
I agree. I was totally expecting her to tell me to wait until week 4 for a full exercise routine. When I go for a walk, I burn all the calories I’ve consumed and then I feel fatigued. Yesterday I walked 30 minutes and I felt nauseous afterwards. I sat and drank water for an hour. Then I got the chills. Good times (not). My surgery buddy said “Screw them. Do what feels comfortable. You know your body.”
Click to expand...
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV, so my opinion is just that, an opinion. I am not telling you what to do, but I have been a surgical nurse for over 10 years. There is no way they should be asking you to exercise like that when you are so calorie restricted. And as far as saying you have lost 10 lbs of muscle, that is crap. It is a guess and an inappropriate and uneducated one at that. I have worked in healthcare and medicine for years and it is physiologically impossible to lose that kind of muscle in that short an amount of time. Anyway, keep working on your protein amount. You must get to at least 60 g a day. That is the absolute minimum for a female. You can do this! Listen to your doctor over the dietician. I get the feeling that they don’t really know what they are talking about. Asking someone to do weight training and cardio this soon after surgery, especially abdominal surgery, is dangerous. Light walking is good. If you feel the need to lift weights, try soup cans and walk with them while doing curls or something easy and not too strenuous. Stop before you get tired. Several short walks a day is sufficient this far out from surgery
 
MANDY2910 said:
And as far as saying you have lost 10 lbs of muscle, that is crap. It is a guess and an inappropriate and uneducated one at that. I have worked in healthcare and medicine for years and it is physiologically impossible to lose that kind of muscle in that short an amount of time.
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The last time I saw the exercise physiologist was FEBRUARY 3rd. She uses a hand held device and put stickers with little probes on my arm and my ankle. Then she attached a wire from one probe to the other creating an electric field or something. It detected my body fat, metabolism and amount of muscle. I don’t know how accurate it is. I wish I knew what the device is called.
 
suzannethemom said:
The last time I saw the exercise physiologist was FEBRUARY 3rd. She uses a hand held device and put stickers with little probes on my arm and my ankle. Then she attached a wire from one probe to the other creating an electric field or something. It detected my body fat, metabolism and amount of muscle. I don’t know how accurate it is. I wish I knew what the device is called.
Click to expand...
There are several different body composition machines. They send electrical vibrations through the body and send back information. They are highly inaccurate and usually will give just a vague idea of composition at best. They use them widely at diet centers, etc. to guess your resting metabolic rate so they can tell you how many calories they think you need to maintain vs lose. When you lose weight the base metabolic rate drops, because your calorie needs drop as you lose weight. That’s basically all they are good for. Any number of things can throw it off. If you wiggled your toes or flinched even a little or move it will decrease accuracy. It can’t tell if you lost muscle or fat or bone mass, just that you lost something. Work on your protein and don’t go below 60. If you do go below consistently your body will rob muscle first if you aren’t feeding your body properly. As long as you are getting in your protein, your body will burn fat instead. Your protein needs will go up as you start exercising so be mindful of that when you do start an exercise program. Protein, protein, protein. Water, water, water. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your body has gone through a tremendous change and a tremendous trauma. You will do great. Just remember: your protein and water are not negotiable. They are a daily goal you have to reach.
 
My exercise physiologist is a runner. She practically runs every day. She’s done a few marathons as well. She had sleeve surgery two years ago and she likes to brag about how active she is and how she walked the entire Mall of America (here in Minnesota) days after she had surgery. Maybe that is the problem. What’s good for HER isn’t good for ME. She said I can do abdominal exercises like crunches. That just seems crazy! I’m gonna exercise at my own pace and listen to my body.
 
suzannethemom said:
My exercise physiologist is a runner. She practically runs every day. She’s done a few marathons as well. She had sleeve surgery two years ago and she likes to brag about how active she is and how she walked the entire Mall of America (here in Minnesota) days after she had surgery. Maybe that is the problem. What’s good for HER isn’t good for ME. She said I can do abdominal exercises like crunches. That just seems crazy! I’m gonna exercise at my own pace and listen to my body.
Click to expand...
Yeah girl that just sounds bananas hahahaha. Yes listen to your body!
 
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