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Inner conflict

3momchaos

Member
I have my first virtual visit with my surgeon tomorrow, and I always review my personal goals before seeing anyone in the weight loss office. I was thinking back to the counselor visit, and I’m kind of annoyed at how she wouldn’t let go of the fact that I don’t have a goal weight. The dieticians don’t care. I mean, I have a number I want to get under, but could I lose more than that? Sure! Will I be happy if I do? Of course! But I feel like I’m putting more pressure on myself by having a number in mind. I want to focus on my health, how I’m feeling, and my energy. Those are my most important goals. And tomorrow when I talk with my surgeon for the first time, I’m going to emphasize that. I’m not here looking to lose 30 or 40 pounds. I’m 5’10, 286 lbs, and I’d be happy to be under 200lbs. And I hope that’s a good enough goal number for him because in reality, I’ll probably lose more than that, but I also don’t want to disappoint myself. Anyone else have that inner conflict?
 
The highest BMI for my height is 25 and would put me at 175lbs. I think I’d be a skeleton! I inherited my dads strong German genes LOL I’ve got broad hips, broad shoulders, a wide ribcage, and very strong legs. I was probably 175 in high school and looked big, but I have a bigger structure. If you saw my sisters and I standing together, you’d never believe we were sisters. All different body types, and we don’t look anything alike. I watched the NOVA special on fat, and I just think my body is one of those that will always be bigger. But if I’m healthy, which is starting to become more of an issue, then I’m ok with that. My biggest goal is health longevity.
 
I have surpassed my surgeon's goal, and am lower than I have ever been as an adult (even pre-kids). I am smaller than I was in high school in both weight and size. I never thought I would be below 175, certainly could not conceive of below 150, yet here I am! I also have very "solid" structure - something my family calls Hearty Peasant Stock. You may feel like you'd be skeletal, but when you actually get there, you may feel differently. I feel healthier, and would actually like to get a bit lower, but that is because I can see now where I am carrying extra weight (as opposed to just extra skin). Health is the most important goal - and that is a good thing for your primary focus!
 
I have my first virtual visit with my surgeon tomorrow, and I always review my personal goals before seeing anyone in the weight loss office. I was thinking back to the counselor visit, and I’m kind of annoyed at how she wouldn’t let go of the fact that I don’t have a goal weight. The dieticians don’t care. I mean, I have a number I want to get under, but could I lose more than that? Sure! Will I be happy if I do? Of course! But I feel like I’m putting more pressure on myself by having a number in mind. I want to focus on my health, how I’m feeling, and my energy. Those are my most important goals. And tomorrow when I talk with my surgeon for the first time, I’m going to emphasize that. I’m not here looking to lose 30 or 40 pounds. I’m 5’10, 286 lbs, and I’d be happy to be under 200lbs. And I hope that’s a good enough goal number for him because in reality, I’ll probably lose more than that, but I also don’t want to disappoint myself. Anyone else have that inner conflict?
When I met with the counselor (starting weight 368), he asked what my weight goal was. I said I didn't have one, I just wanted to feel better. He asked me what weight would be a disappointment. I responded that if I don't get below 300, it would be a waste. What would make me feel satisfied. I said 250 would make my PCP happy and stop pushing weight loss. Then he asked me what weight would make me excited. I said that my wedding weight was 225, and someday I would like to get back there. I didn't have a goal, but his questions helped me to define success. (Now, I'm seeing 225 as an achievable goal this year!)
Not focusing on a number is a good thing. Look at the other benefits and the weight is a bonus.
 
J
I have my first virtual visit with my surgeon tomorrow, and I always review my personal goals before seeing anyone in the weight loss office. I was thinking back to the counselor visit, and I’m kind of annoyed at how she wouldn’t let go of the fact that I don’t have a goal weight. The dieticians don’t care. I mean, I have a number I want to get under, but could I lose more than that? Sure! Will I be happy if I do? Of course! But I feel like I’m putting more pressure on myself by having a number in mind. I want to focus on my health, how I’m feeling, and my energy. Those are my most important goals. And tomorrow when I talk with my surgeon for the first time, I’m going to emphasize that. I’m not here looking to lose 30 or 40 pounds. I’m 5’10, 286 lbs, and I’d be happy to be under 200lbs. And I hope that’s a good enough goal number for him because in reality, I’ll probably lose more than that, but I also don’t want to disappoint myself. Anyone else have that inner conflict?
Just keep in mind that your're giving her an idea, not a promise. When I met with mine, I was 290 and said I'd love to loose 100. I went on to loose another 39 past that. But she wasn't in on that goal, that was me and my determination keeping me going.

Never once did I ever expect to weigh under 175 pounds but as of this morning I was at 151. What a shocker!
 
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