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Self-sabotage & Mind-fuks

Badgy

Badgy

Member
Hey guys! Miss you. Sorry, I've been seeing other people - lol - on a local FB group. Everyday I get to watch people who have been on this journey with me get surgery, all month 1/2 hr from my house, whilst I sit here licking the wallpaper. (Not really, I don't have wallpaper, but if I did, and it was full of calories, and I was told that it was bad to lick it, and I shouldn't lick it, I would probably would lick it).

Hope you're doing well. I'm good. I started DBT therapy. Two weeks in and I am actually feeling some changes taking place, which is hopeful. Eye doctor tomorrow since my vision is failing miserably and rapidly. It's scary actually. Losing my hearing, losing my vision, losing my mind, and the one thing that I really want to lose - I can't.

I'm totally out of control. Like covid-crazy with my food. I'm starting keto today just to try something new before I gain every last pound back that I've lost. I've become resigned that this surgery probably won't happen. No one is communicating with me about what my next step is. I was told they were not doing elective surgeries in Michigan then I was told they were. I can't get straight answers. If I failed my psych eval, they didn't tell me. I left a message Friday asking them if I can have the surgery here in Akron since they aren't communicating with me. Hopefully the threat of me going out of network will get me some answers one way or the other.

Stay safe. Love yous.
 
I’m sorry you're having trouble. This pandemic has been such a sh*t show on all levels. I’m 3 appointments away from my info being sent to insurance. I’m somehow becoming more down as things get closer. Probably just a lot of the other stressors that are going on in my life. I hope you hear something soon.
 
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Badgy said:
Hey guys! Miss you. Sorry, I've been seeing other people - lol - on a local FB group. Everyday I get to watch people who have been on this journey with me get surgery, all month 1/2 hr from my house, whilst I sit here licking the wallpaper. (Not really, I don't have wallpaper, but if I did, and it was full of calories, and I was told that it was bad to lick it, and I shouldn't lick it, I would probably would lick it).

Hope you're doing well. I'm good. I started DBT therapy. Two weeks in and I am actually feeling some changes taking place, which is hopeful. Eye doctor tomorrow since my vision is failing miserably and rapidly. It's scary actually. Losing my hearing, losing my vision, losing my mind, and the one thing that I really want to lose - I can't.

I'm totally out of control. Like covid-crazy with my food. I'm starting keto today just to try something new before I gain every last pound back that I've lost. I've become resigned that this surgery probably won't happen. No one is communicating with me about what my next step is. I was told they were not doing elective surgeries in Michigan then I was told they were. I can't get straight answers. If I failed my psych eval, they didn't tell me. I left a message Friday asking them if I can have the surgery here in Akron since they aren't communicating with me. Hopefully the threat of me going out of network will get me some answers one way or the other.

Stay safe. Love yous.
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Hang in there... I believe all things happen at just the right time unfortunately it’s not always on the time we hope or expect. The wait is worth it I promise you
 
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