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55 years old and a newbie.

MelbaM

MelbaM

Member
Hello, I'm 55 and wonder if there is anyone else around my age that is going to have RNY or have had it fairly recently that can give advice? Surgery sched in April. I'm nervous about how I'll do afterwards given my age and having always been an emotional eater. :)
 
Welcome, Melba. I was 56 when I had my surgery. I'll be 72 this year.

How you do after depends on the shape you're in, not necessarily how much you weigh. My advice is not to worry, but to plan to rest, rest, rest until you feel like moving. Never force anything. You're making a huge biological change to your body. It will work, but it isn't like sneezing. It's more like recovering from a tooth extraction.

I know the procedure you'll have will be much less invasive than what happened to me. Most people here seem to be back on their fee within a few days.

But the thing that will challenge you forever is your messed-up brain--your eating disorder. I am bulimarexic and still suffer from urges to binge and purge, but much less so. And the urge never manifests into an action.

I think the key to everything is revising your need for perfection. You can desensitize your criticisms by looking through magazines with photos of normal or fat or obese people and just take in their images with all your feelings, with an aim eventually to feel no particular judgment. I'm really aware of the intensity of every little thing from childhood, from my slip showing to my shoes being scuffed to a sweater suddenly being too tight. These little defamations ruin everything. Most of us would never judge anyone as harshly as we judge ourselves.

Unfortunately, we mostly use food to deal with every emotion, from love to hate. And we are acutely aware of our emotions, believing them to be bigger and more controlling than other people's. That's usually not true, but we cling to it because we have a fear of success. We're supposed to fail. And failing allows appeasement and comforting with badness, i.e., food.

It is possible to amp these things down and they are simple, but require repetition. Here are a few ideas:

  • put your fork down between bites
  • put your food down between bites
  • don't snack
  • weight and measure your food
  • commit to what you're going to eat by making a list every morning
  • if you slip up, admit it, write it down, "scold" yourself and move on
  • if you make mistakes all day long, take deep breaths and hold the thought in your head when you inhale, letting it go when you exhale
  • if you can't be nice to yourself, think of someone you adore, worship, would die for, and imagine you're dealing with him/her/it
  • practice affirmations
  • pray or meditate
  • scream into your pillow if rage takes over and you hate yourself
  • EXPRESS YOURSELF. Obesity is the real silent killer.
  • come here and talk to us. we've done it all, we've heard it all.

i could write a million more things, but i'm going to stop here. You can absorb these, and other members will chime in. You're talking about one of the most common things in the world, gluttony, obesity, lack of control, addiction. It's not going away, but you can learn to live with it and be in charge.
 
Oh, a sort of p.s.:

I saw my doctor yesterday morning and my ophthalmalogist in the afternoon. At both appointments the staff told me how good I looked, how pretty I was, how lovely my eyes are, etc. Now, listen: none of that is how I'd describe myself, and if I compared myself to a movie star, i wouldn't even exist in the same galaxy. But I let them go on and I just drank it in like sunshine. I can believe it for a little while before going back to fight the uglies, the negative messages I was raised with. Listen to people. They're probably saying nice things about you. If so, believe them.
 
dianeseattle said:
Oh, a sort of p.s.:

I saw my doctor yesterday morning and my ophthalmalogist in the afternoon. At both appointments the staff told me how good I looked, how pretty I was, how lovely my eyes are, etc. Now, listen: none of that is how I'd describe myself, and if I compared myself to a movie star, i wouldn't even exist in the same galaxy. But I let them go on and I just drank it in like sunshine. I can believe it for a little while before going back to fight the uglies, the negative messages I was raised with. Listen to people. They're probably saying nice things about you. If so, believe them.
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Thank you so much for your advice, Diane. The part where you said: "That's usually not true, but we cling to it because we have a fear of success. We're supposed to fail. And failing allows appeasement and comforting with badness, i.e., food" made tears spring to my eyes. That's exactly how I feel. I'm supposed to fail because it allows me to comfort with food. I was bulemic for about 20 years. Even after not doing it for so long, the idea will still pop into my head. I plan on using meditation (still learning), journaling, and eventually yoga to help me cope. Great idea about the magazines. Thank you for your support. I plan on coming back here often!
 
MelbaM said:
Hello, I'm 55 and wonder if there is anyone else around my age that is going to have RNY or have had it fairly recently that can give advice? Surgery sched in April. I'm nervous about how I'll do afterwards given my age and having always been an emotional eater. :)
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Hi, I had my bypass done last week and I am 64. I was nervous also but I have to tell you it was one of the most uneventful surgeries I have ever gone through. The first few days the gas pain was the worst part. But as long as you get up and walk around every half hour or so you will find relief. Surgery Pain is just annoying especially when they start itching, lol. Try to keep water with you at all times and take sips every 5 to 10 minutes. Take the gas-ex and drink as much protein shakes as you can. I found zero calorie protein water which broke up the shakes some and the zero power aid helped. I could go on and on. If you have any questions please ask. Good Luck and you will do great.
 
Hi Melba. I am 54 and had my bypass in September. Just know that our bodies take more time to heal than younger people. You can do this! Use the time between now & then to prepare mentally and physically. Get your information organized. Buy the things you’re going to need postop. Start walking more now if you can. I lost 30 lbs in the 5 months before surgery just by practicing working the diet, learning how to shop, reading labels, walking more. I’m glad I had that time to prepare my mind & body for what was to come.
 
I am 49 and just had a vertical sleeve done January 9. You can get through this! Buy what you need ahead of time (including constipation meds), take a walk every day, practice testing out different protein shakes to find what you like, and keep reducing on what you consume each day. It's amazing how little food we actually need each day to live. And keep reading through this website.
 
Thank you so much, everyone! I so appreciate the tips. I definitely plan on getting as much of the post-op things I'll need before the surgery. I'll have to look up the protein waters......never had 'em before and not sure I'll like 'em so much! ;) I will DEFINITELY pick up constipation meds! Don't want that pain on top of the other! I use Benefiber in my coffee every morning, but I'll be sure to pick up some Colace.
Healthier Me said:
Hi Melba. I am 54 and had my bypass in September. Just know that our bodies take more time to heal than younger people. You can do this! Use the time between now & then to prepare mentally and physically. Get your information organized. Buy the things you’re going to need postop. Start walking more now if you can. I lost 30 lbs in the 5 months before surgery just by practicing working the diet, learning how to shop, reading labels, walking more. I’m glad I had that time to prepare my mind & body for what was to come.
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Great idea about walking more to prepare my mind and body. I live in MN and it's been so @#$%^! cold and snowy here that I just haven't gotten out to walk. I'll have to make my hubby fix the ol' treadmill we have. :)
 
Marsbarz said:
Hi, I had my bypass done last week and I am 64. I was nervous also but I have to tell you it was one of the most uneventful surgeries I have ever gone through. The first few days the gas pain was the worst part. But as long as you get up and walk around every half hour or so you will find relief. Surgery Pain is just annoying especially when they start itching, lol. Try to keep water with you at all times and take sips every 5 to 10 minutes. Take the gas-ex and drink as much protein shakes as you can. I found zero calorie protein water which broke up the shakes some and the zero power aid helped. I could go on and on. If you have any questions please ask. Good Luck and you will do great.
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Here's to uneventful recoveries!!! :D
 
My surgery got moved up to March 29th. Wowza I'm nervous. I'm nervous I'll be a cranky bitch during the pre-op diet and during the full liquid diet after it. My poor hubby will likely get the brunt of it! :/ How did everyone else do during those times?
 
MelbaM said:
Hello, I'm 55 and wonder if there is anyone else around my age that is going to have RNY or have had it fairly recently that can give advice? Surgery sched in April. I'm nervous about how I'll do afterwards given my age and having always been an emotional eater. :)
Click to expand...
Hi I’m Linda and I had the same surgery at 57. Soon to be a year ago on March 16th. You will do fine and it’s completely normal to feel concerned I felt the same way I felt I was to old and had waited to long. Boy was I wrong I feel like I did in my 20’s it was the best thing I could have ever done. Good luck on your surgery this is a great site full of very helpful information.
 
Linda57 said:
Hi I’m Linda and I had the same surgery at 57. Soon to be a year ago on March 16th. You will do fine and it’s completely normal to feel concerned I felt the same way I felt I was to old and had waited to long. Boy was I wrong I feel like I did in my 20’s it was the best thing I could have ever done. Good luck on your surgery this is a great site full of very helpful information.
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Thank you, Linda! I am looking forward to feeling younger. My knees hurt a lot- especially my right. I am hoping the surgery will help with it and I can get back to, dare I say, RUNNING again! ;)
 
Melba, you should treat your knees as an unrelated problem. It isn't necessarily related to weight or whatever. Please see and osteopath or knee specialist before you move on. It could be something to do with your knees, which are EXTREMELY complicated joints. And if you were a runner before, you could have problems from the past that are just coincidental to what's going on now.
 
dianeseattle said:
Melba, you should treat your knees as an unrelated problem. It isn't necessarily related to weight or whatever. Please see and osteopath or knee specialist before you move on. It could be something to do with your knees, which are EXTREMELY complicated joints. And if you were a runner before, you could have problems from the past that are just coincidental to what's going on now.
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Thank you, Diane. I do have a condyle defect in my right knee, but the Ortho Doc didn't think it would preclude me from possibly running again. I'll double check with him, tho. :) I appreciate your response!
 
Personal question..... I currently have an "apron" of fat that hangs down a bit. Anyone that had the surgery have the same thing before surgery? I'm just wondering if it will get smaller or lead to MORE of an "apron" from saggy skin. I am wondering not for (just) cosmetic reasons, but if it will get in the way of me walking, exercising, normal things. When I do yoga now, it gets in the way of me doing certain moves and makes it hard for me to breathe well.
 
Hi Melba. I had a bit before, but there will be more of an apron - correct medical word is pannus -from saggy skin. I’ve been more shocked by the lack of any elasticity of my skin since the weight loss than by the pannus. But it is part of it. I guess the size, etc varies from person to person. I’m personally more bothered by the loose skin on my inner thighs. Surgery to remove pannus is called panniculectomy and is sometimes covered by insurance if it hangs below the pubis.
 
5497


I inquired into a panniculectomy for my pannus. They essentially told me the fat has to sag down to your knees. Any higher than that and patients are refered to cosmetic surgery for a tummy tuck.
 
I had a low hanging fat belly when I was fat, and I have a smaller, hanging fat belly now lol It does not get in my way. You can have it removed if it does or if it bothers you. This will sound weird but I kind of like it. Its the only part of my body that's instantly recognizable to me as MINE.

Change, even positive change, is mentally difficult. There was a study that showed that positive life events, marriage, babies etc have just as much of a stressful affect on your body and mind as negative ones, death of a family member etc.

You do not have a perfect body now and you're not going to end up with one later with out plastic surgery. Also, I am 53 (surgery at 50) and feel freaking amazing!! Which is WAY better than being able to wear a crop top
 
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