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Can I really do this?!

J

Jennifer47

Member
Hi everyone! I'm new here,tried a couple other sites and the people were not very nice.. Hope to hear from someone who can help me out with my decision. I'm at my heaviest weight 222 bmi 40.I am bipolar and my meds make me so hungry. I'm 4 months in the process all I need is a cardio clearance. Any way my family doesn't think I can stop eating and do this and I'm starting to doubt it too. My surgeon said I won't be hungry afterwards so no worries but I still am. Any advice would be appreciated!
 
I'm sorry people were rude, small people like to make others feel bad because misery loves company. Ignore those haters.

Now, this decision is only about YOU. Not what your friends think, not what your family thinks: they think they know you well but no one can truly understand someone else's inner motivation for a life altering decision. And that's exactly what this is: if you yourself are not 100% convinced this is your only and best way forward, maybe you do need to reconsider, because there is no going back, ever.

That being said, the permanency is exactly what makes it such an amazing tool, to help you learn new habits. The pre-op diet is hard, for sure. If you are struggling just because of actual physical hunger, reach out to your nutritionist or whomever gave you the diet plan and ask them about what can help with that. I asked and was allowed to supplement with celery and cucumber so I could focus on life instead of hunger.
But if the root of the hunger is the missing of food as a comfort source and the desire to satisfy that need for immediate emotional relief, then that would be the root of the issue most of us struggle with. We didn't get this way by not having an unhealthy relationship with food, and the pre-op phase is so crucial to begin to unpack those issues because if we don't get a hold of them, those same tendencies will keep back in after we've lost the weight and can lead to gaining it back. So I encourage you to do some soul searching and listen to what your inner self is trying to tell you to do: life is loud and messy and full of distractions and opinions but at the end of the day, YOU are the one that needs to decide for YOU what is best for the rest of your life and how you need to live it.

You can absolutely do this, it is hard but I believe so worth it. The attitude you go into it with really has a big part to play in how you bounce back afterwards. I am a little over 2 weeks post op and I am so glad I did it. I have had my share of ups and downs and fears and doubts but I knew it was the start over that I needed to enjoy the second half of my life and stop treating my body like a garbage disposal. Regardless what path you choose, take back control of your life and move in a direction that you choose for yourself: you will be amazed at how strong you are and anyone who would doubt you will be left eating crow :p
 
Thank you! How are you feeling were you in much pain? I am really excited about getting my body and my life back I just get scared sometimes. I'm really sick of eating so much all the time my family makes fun of me but we do it in a joking manner. I never go anywhere but to the grocery store my back and my feet hurt! So yeah I don't see any other way.
 
I am in no pain whatsoever and have not been since 4 days post op. As for the family jokes: even seemingly harmless family jokes can really reinforce negative opinions you have of yourself and what you are capable of. My family is much the same way, some of the jokes were hurtful and led to me eating even more to feel better. I would suggest a heart to heart with your family, one on one (don't gang up on them where they might feel defensive), where you just explain that you are trying to move forward in a healthier way and it would really help to have their support because they mean so much to you. Sometimes family is the most blind to what can be hurtful and most of the time it is not intentional, and if you ask them in a loving way to stop, it might really help you keep walking forward.
 
During your 4 month phase, did they have you cut out most of the carbs and desserts?
I found that for me,starting the healthy eating 3 months before the surgery sure made it easier to follow the diet after surgery.
I am just over a month out.
Stay strong, you can do this and keep faith in yourself.
Wishing you best of luck.
 
ThunderWoman said:
I am in no pain whatsoever and have not been since 4 days post op. As for the family jokes: even seemingly harmless family jokes can really reinforce negative opinions you have of yourself and what you are capable of. My family is much the same way, some of the jokes were hurtful and led to me eating even more to feel better. I would suggest a heart to heart with your family, one on one (don't gang up on them where they might feel defensive), where you just explain that you are trying to move forward in a healthier way and it would really help to have their support because they mean so much to you. Sometimes family is the most blind to what can be hurtful and most of the time it is not intentional, and if you ask them in a loving way to stop, it might really help you keep walking forward.
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TW - just have to tell you that you give such thoughtful, heartfelt advice. :)
 
honeysgirl said:
During your 4 month phase, did they have you cut out most of the carbs and desserts?
I found that for me,starting the healthy eating 3 months before the surgery sure made it easier to follow the diet after surgery.
I am just over a month out.
Stay strong, you can do this and keep faith in yourself.
Wishing you best of luck.
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I completely agree!
 
Like you I’ve taken meds that have been partially responsible for my weight gain. I made the decision not to tell my family bc I believe they’d only tell me “I don’t need to do the surgery that I could do it with proper diet and exercise.” I eat very well, I do exercise, and I have not consistently lost more than 5#. I started this process more than 10 years ago, believing It was my fault and I should be able to do it on my own like everyone told me.
I’m doing this for me! The group has been very supportive of my decision not to share. Share only with those who will truly support you. Don’t share with those who don’t. This is for you. Your opinion is the only one that should matter. You are important and worth it! Stay strong in your resolve. That’s my opinion. Best wishes to you.
 
Cyndy said:
Like you I’ve taken meds that have been partially responsible for my weight gain. I made the decision not to tell my family bc I believe they’d only tell me “I don’t need to do the surgery that I could do it with proper diet and exercise.” I eat very well, I do exercise, and I have not consistently lost more than 5#. I started this process more than 10 years ago, believing It was my fault and I should be able to do it on my own like everyone told me.
I’m doing this for me! The group has been very supportive of my decision not to share. Share only with those who will truly support you. Don’t share with those who don’t. This is for you. Your opinion is the only one that should matter. You are important and worth it! Stay strong in your resolve. That’s my opinion. Best wishes to you.
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Amen sister. ;)
 
I also changed my diet 2 months before they put me on the pre op diet. I fell in love with jello, and caramel protein drinks.
As for pain after surgery it was not bad. I took my last pain medicine 2 day post op. Did need it.
 
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