Disappointed

[Tokash]

I'm finding it really hard to not be disappointed in the weightloss process. Logically I can understand part of it but still struggle.

I am 6 weeks post. The first month I lost 16 pounds. By the end of the second month I had hoped to be under 200 but its not looking like that is going to happen as I have only list 2 pounds so far this month and would have 8 more to go.

Now logically I have moved up to any food I can tolerate however it's been mostly protein and I haven't been following g a strict "3 meals no snacks" plan as I can't. I dont eat enough in a meal to make it on just 3 meals and no snacks. I pretty much only eat protein, mostly meat, some cheese. A small bit of carbs (1-2 noodles, small bite of bread, but not much as my body is not a big fan) here and there, a few wheat crackers occasionally with my tuna and a couple apple slices as my fruit.

My protein is low but I have been trying to up ot and the last few days I have been able to add 1 protein drink back in a day with out the desire to throw it up.

Most of my food has been just running threw me lately which has been leaving me feel pretty crappy as well so logically I can for the most part understand why I'm not really losing, however I'm still disappointed and can't full accept the justification even though I can rationalize it.

Also from feeling crappy my walks have been on hold. My stress is hiked up because of work (i have a court subpoena hanging over my head for this month and I have work riding my but about productivity and they clear lack of understanding Covid impact on client participation yet still drowning in work).

 

[Aface]

Sorry that you are having a hard time. It will get better.....
my advice would be to start the walking back up. You don’t have to do 4 miles just start with 20 min it will help with the stress and weight loss.
how are you doing on your water in take?
I had a 3 week period where I wasn’t losing and when I talked to my Dr he said I was not eating enough. I started eating more and BAM that was the key. Are you tracking your calories etc?
Check your grocery store and see if they have Chobani complete yogurt drink they have 25 grams of protein and they are yummy just like a smoothie. It seems like you didn’t start off at a wicked heavy weight so you won’t lose like someone who did start off at a higher weight.
this is just a bump in the road you can do this.

 

[Tokash]

Sorry that you are having a hard time. It will get better.....
my advice would be to start the walking back up. You don’t have to do 4 miles just start with 20 min it will help with the stress and weight loss.
how are you doing on your water in take?
I had a 3 week period where I wasn’t losing and when I talked to my Dr he said I was not eating enough. I started eating more and BAM that was the key. Are you tracking your calories etc?
Check your grocery store and see if they have Chobani complete yogurt drink they have 25 grams of protein and they are yummy just like a smoothie. It seems like you didn’t start off at a wicked heavy weight so you won’t lose like someone who did start off at a higher weight.
this is just a bump in the road you can do this.

I dont like the chobani ones. Tried them. Water i am anywhere from 48-60 a day. Mostly on the 48 lately but trying to push it back up.

I do plan to get the walking going again. Just went on hold when I wasn't feeling well with the digestive stuff. Starting to feel better today so likely, provided its not raining tomorrow will get back out. My walking buddy came up limping today so will have to go it alone though.

I haven't tracked my calories but I know I'm not eating much but am eating until full. I am supposed to eat 3 meals no snacks. However, because I eat so little at a meal before I am full I am usually hungry again about 3 hours later.

For example breakfast the last couple of days has either been a protein shake or a "crack n egg" breakfast." I can never finish the egg thing and sometimes the protein shake is also finished later. Lunch has been a few wheat crackers and a package of tuna(I can usually only finish half) or a few pieces of turkey deli meat with string cheese and dinner is usually whatever left over protein is in the fridge from previous meals. The last few days it has been chicken.

 

[Aface]

I would definitely try and figure out your protein and calories in your day. Have you done measurements?
I do know that when I wasn’t losing weight I was losing inches and that was a bonus. I do measurements once a month.

 

[Aface]

What type of surgery did you have?

 

[WazzuCoug]

I'm so sorry you have this frustration and stress, both of those things are certainly understandable. I think it would be a really good idea to figure out how many calories and protein you are eating per day. It sure doesn't look like much, and if it is calorically low, that could potentially cause your metabolism to slow down. I'm sort of surprised that you are only supposed to have 3 meals per day, but I have seen such a wide variety of advice from bariatric clinics, that is can be very confusing for people. That is exactly the opposite of my dieticians advice, in fact just yesterday she said I should be trying to get a snack in the am and pm, which I usually only have one or the other. I don't know what's "right" but I do know each person often needs a little different path than the next person, which is why it's good to try to keep expanding what you are eating and find out what you can tolerate. I would think a dietician would agree that getting the proper amount of protein and calories in would be way more important than trying to fit it in to just three meals. At least I would hope that is what they would think.

The average expected weight loss in the first 3 months is 30% of excess weight. That is the average. Unfortunately, medical clinics usually use BMI to calculate excess weight, and its wrong in about 60% of females and 13% of males. However, that is what is commonly used as a reference. So, if you had 100lbs of excess body weight, the average expected loss in 3 months would be an average of 30lbs. Some people will lose less, some people more, regardless of their starting weight. Even though it can be frustrating, it is absolutely normal if you fall on the lower side of that average. It does not mean you won't reach your goals.

Weight loss will continue. It will. I think there are some things you could tweak to get better results, but I do know how hard it is with work and life and everything. Stress, unfortunately, can fight against us too, so finding ways to relax and getting exercise are key to dealing with the stress and getting through these periods.

You will absolutely lose more weight. You will make more progress. If you continuously get the same message from your dietician, then I might look for a different bariatric dietician and see if you get different advice. Our bodies vary so much, it just can't be "one size fits all" all of the time.

 

[Tokash]

Tokash, you are going through some emotional stuff and you need to reach out to a mental health place to ask about group therapies or individual therapy or even ask at the hospital where you had your surgery. This sort of depression and weird up-and-down weight loss is common and it's like a wheel going around. You get about halfway up the hill and then you slide back down and then you go back up again and slide back down and go back up and slide back down.

Your response to this is to fix it yourself by explaining it and rationalize it. But that's not dependable. Your brain is lying to you. All of us had that same problem. You're eating disorder is not being addressed. Changing the amount of food you eat one day to the next is not going to affect your eating disorder at all. In fact, if it could chuckle maliciously, that's what it would be doing because it is running your life.

I would immediately call the hospital where I had the surgery and make an appointment with the nutritionist. Your diet sounds haphazard to me and again, that is probably because of your disorder. But no matter how bad your eating disorder is, it cannot fight a sensible, well-balanced diet and a regular routine of any kind of movement.

When I read your post my adrenaline just went up and down because you are describing so many things that I have experienced, even though I was religious about my diet and exercised and I lost a lot of weight really fast, and it continued until I reach my goal.

I support you. I understand that you are disappointed. But if you allow disappointment to be your major emotional demeanor, you are not going to succeed. Aface was right when she said walk for an amount of time, not distance. Do not sit down all day. Do not lay down. Don't rely on anyone else for your decision to be active.

Have a nice appointment with your nutritionist and follow a diet that the two of you develop together during the appointment. You know what you hate and what you love. You know what sits well with you and what makes you feel nauseated. Share that information with her or him. They often seem kind of arbitrary about the post-op diet. But they are paid by the insurance that represents you to make sure that you succeed insofar as they can make that happen.

So call your hospital, make an appointment with the nutritionist, reach out to a mental health organization or find out if there's a support group in your hospital and make sure you get your diet completely fleshed out. You should not be saying "I have one or two pieces of pasta or a bite of bread" or anything like that. You should be writing it down in a journal and you should weigh and measure every single thing you put in your body.

You will succeed but it sounds like you don't have enough support. And it sounds like you're not being strict about what you eat. Make the decision to succeed and do it by writing down everything you eat and even writing down what you plan to eat the next day, and then stick to that plan. You don't have to walk outside. You can walk around your house inside. You can join a gym and go there where you will find warmth and companionship, surrounded by people who care about their health. Very soon, you will be able to join their ranks. Because you are going to succeed

If you cannot talk yourself out of your mood, get a book that can. Read the book. Don't watch television. Don't try to multitask and don't beat yourself up when you perceive a failure. Surgery is only a tool. Let me say that again. Surgery is only a tool. You are the person who is using the tool so you have to be responsible for how you use it.

And if you don't have time or you're not ready to see a mental health counselor, you can do these exercises on paper that will help to break you out of your negative thinking and help you love yourself so much that you become extremely beautiful. To me, the book that contains these exercises is called "The Only Diet There Is"
View attachment 3268

I'm attaching an image. Get it from Amazon on Prime day so you can get it for a dollar or whatever and then commit yourself to reading it.

A lot of us, no matter how old we get, are still stuck in some kind of childhood abuse or lack of self-esteem or in long-term prison of obesity. What you do to get over that is you grow yourself a new protector in your mind and in your soul. The self-help book, "I'm Okay, You're Okay" View attachment 3265 teaches you to look at your personality from three points of view: the parent, the adult, and the child. The child is your eating disorder. The parents is the self talk that caused you to become fat in the first place and makes you feel you do not deserve what you are entitled to. The adult can look at both the parent and the child rationally and help you find a healthy way to deal with it.

I really do support you. I really do want to help you. I needed help too, 13 years ago and it was hard to find. If I hadn't become passionate about going to the gym in order to train and build muscle and stamina so I could go hiking in the North Cascades I don't know what I would have done. I didn't know about this group, and in fact it didn't exist until 2010.

Please reach out to a professional for help. You should not be struggling like this.

I want to clarify that my food doesn't change. I eat consistently. My dietician knows I focus on protein as its low ( they want me at 60-80). I eat so little because I physically can't eat more, which is why if I am hungry between meals I do have a snack. However I make sure its healthy, usually a turkey stick or string cheese. I buy the packets of tuna that at 2 oz. There have been times that I try to eat the whole thing for a meal and then I get physical ill because its too much. So its not that I'm purposely restricting food, I am eatting until my body says full and yes I am stopping water before and after.

What I meant by the 2 noodles was, we do a lot of home cooking with little kids. For example, speghetti the other night. I would take 2 noodles and then just meat with some sauce on it. Here and there means- 1 to 2 times a week.

I do have a regular therapist I see and have consistently for 4 years.

I do try to walk during the day if I can. However I work a desk job that puts me in front of video all day long and since work is unhappy with my performance, which is out of my control currently, they have been packing my schedule without my permission. I may have to join a gym again now that it gets dark early because while I do live in town we don't really have street lights. I was taking my walks midday before as destress/defunk from clients from the first half of the day before starting the second half.

 

[Tokash]

I'm so sorry you have this frustration and stress, both of those things are certainly understandable. I think it would be a really good idea to figure out how many calories and protein you are eating per day. It sure doesn't look like much, and if it is calorically low, that could potentially cause your metabolism to slow down. I'm sort of surprised that you are only supposed to have 3 meals per day, but I have seen such a wide variety of advice from bariatric clinics, that is can be very confusing for people. That is exactly the opposite of my dieticians advice, in fact just yesterday she said I should be trying to get a snack in the am and pm, which I usually only have one or the other. I don't know what's "right" but I do know each person often needs a little different path than the next person, which is why it's good to try to keep expanding what you are eating and find out what you can tolerate. I would think a dietician would agree that getting the proper amount of protein and calories in would be way more important than trying to fit it in to just three meals. At least I would hope that is what they would think.

The average expected weight loss in the first 3 months is 30% of excess weight. That is the average. Unfortunately, medical clinics usually use BMI to calculate excess weight, and its wrong in about 60% of females and 13% of males. However, that is what is commonly used as a reference. So, if you had 100lbs of excess body weight, the average expected loss in 3 months would be an average of 30lbs. Some people will lose less, some people more, regardless of their starting weight. Even though it can be frustrating, it is absolutely normal if you fall on the lower side of that average. It does not mean you won't reach your goals.

Weight loss will continue. It will. I think there are some things you could tweak to get better results, but I do know how hard it is with work and life and everything. Stress, unfortunately, can fight against us too, so finding ways to relax and getting exercise are key to dealing with the stress and getting through these periods.

You will absolutely lose more weight. You will make more progress. If you continuously get the same message from your dietician, then I might look for a different bariatric dietician and see if you get different advice. Our bodies vary so much, it just can't be "one size fits all" all of the time.

I saw my dietician on the 2nd of this month and at that time she really wanted me to focus on up the protein as I wasn't able to do shakes without my stomach flipping and obviously not eatting enough food to make the protein.

I ordered some unflavored protein that I have to figure out how to use. I also have ordered some samples of a different brand of protein. Just recently I tried my old protein again and so far a couple are ok and I have been able to do one a day. I am going to work at consistently getting one a day in and then move to 2.

Its been about a week since I have walked but I did two intense days of yard work and the dreaded fall garage cleaning. Today provided it isn't raining I am going to do my nightly walk. Its coming for our first possible snow this weekend so that should be fun.

Don't get me wrong, I have lose 32lb over all and am very happy with that. I am 5'3 and started out at 240 so I expect it to go a bit slower.

 

[3momchaos]

I saw my dietician on the 2nd of this month and at that time she really wanted me to focus on up the protein as I wasn't able to do shakes without my stomach flipping and obviously not eatting enough food to make the protein.

I ordered some unflavored protein that I have to figure out how to use. I also have ordered some samples of a different brand of protein. Just recently I tried my old protein again and so far a couple are ok and I have been able to do one a day. I am going to work at consistently getting one a day in and then move to 2.

Its been about a week since I have walked but I did two intense days of yard work and the dreaded fall garage cleaning. Today provided it isn't raining I am going to do my nightly walk. Its coming for our first possible snow this weekend so that should be fun.

Don't get me wrong, I have lose 32lb over all and am very happy with that. I am 5'3 and started out at 240 so I expect it to go a bit slower.

I’m not sure what kind of protein powder you were using before or the unflavored you have now, but my chocolate PP tends to be sweet, so I’m mixing my flavored and unflavored. It tempers the sweetness, adds more protein since my unflavored has more, and my dietician loved that I was doing that instead of just suffering through one or the other. I have a hard time mixing my unflavored PP to things because it clumps in hot substances, and tastes of coffee creamer so it yuck just in water. I have more unflavored PP experimenting to do.

 

[Tokash]

Tokash, you are going through some emotional stuff and you need to reach out to a mental health place to ask about group therapies or individual therapy or even ask at the hospital where you had your surgery. This sort of depression and weird up-and-down weight loss is common and it's like a wheel going around. You get about halfway up the hill and then you slide back down and then you go back up again and slide back down and go back up and slide back down.

Your response to this is to fix it yourself by explaining it and rationalize it. But that's not dependable. Your brain is lying to you. All of us had that same problem. You're eating disorder is not being addressed. Changing the amount of food you eat one day to the next is not going to affect your eating disorder at all. In fact, if it could chuckle maliciously, that's what it would be doing because it is running your life.

I would immediately call the hospital where I had the surgery and make an appointment with the nutritionist. Your diet sounds haphazard to me and again, that is probably because of your disorder. But no matter how bad your eating disorder is, it cannot fight a sensible, well-balanced diet and a regular routine of any kind of movement.

When I read your post my adrenaline just went up and down because you are describing so many things that I have experienced, even though I was religious about my diet and exercised and I lost a lot of weight really fast, and it continued until I reach my goal.

I support you. I understand that you are disappointed. But if you allow disappointment to be your major emotional demeanor, you are not going to succeed. Aface was right when she said walk for an amount of time, not distance. Do not sit down all day. Do not lay down. Don't rely on anyone else for your decision to be active.

Have a nice appointment with your nutritionist and follow a diet that the two of you develop together during the appointment. You know what you hate and what you love. You know what sits well with you and what makes you feel nauseated. Share that information with her or him. They often seem kind of arbitrary about the post-op diet. But they are paid by the insurance that represents you to make sure that you succeed insofar as they can make that happen.

So call your hospital, make an appointment with the nutritionist, reach out to a mental health organization or find out if there's a support group in your hospital and make sure you get your diet completely fleshed out. You should not be saying "I have one or two pieces of pasta or a bite of bread" or anything like that. You should be writing it down in a journal and you should weigh and measure every single thing you put in your body.

You will succeed but it sounds like you don't have enough support. And it sounds like you're not being strict about what you eat. Make the decision to succeed and do it by writing down everything you eat and even writing down what you plan to eat the next day, and then stick to that plan. You don't have to walk outside. You can walk around your house inside. You can join a gym and go there where you will find warmth and companionship, surrounded by people who care about their health. Very soon, you will be able to join their ranks. Because you are going to succeed

If you cannot talk yourself out of your mood, get a book that can. Read the book. Don't watch television. Don't try to multitask and don't beat yourself up when you perceive a failure. Surgery is only a tool. Let me say that again. Surgery is only a tool. You are the person who is using the tool so you have to be responsible for how you use it.

And if you don't have time or you're not ready to see a mental health counselor, you can do these exercises on paper that will help to break you out of your negative thinking and help you love yourself so much that you become extremely beautiful. To me, the book that contains these exercises is called "The Only Diet There Is"
View attachment 3268

I'm attaching an image. Get it from Amazon on Prime day so you can get it for a dollar or whatever and then commit yourself to reading it.

A lot of us, no matter how old we get, are still stuck in some kind of childhood abuse or lack of self-esteem or in long-term prison of obesity. What you do to get over that is you grow yourself a new protector in your mind and in your soul. The self-help book, "I'm Okay, You're Okay" View attachment 3265 teaches you to look at your personality from three points of view: the parent, the adult, and the child. The child is your eating disorder. The parents is the self talk that caused you to become fat in the first place and makes you feel you do not deserve what you are entitled to. The adult can look at both the parent and the child rationally and help you find a healthy way to deal with it.

I really do support you. I really do want to help you. I needed help too, 13 years ago and it was hard to find. If I hadn't become passionate about going to the gym in order to train and build muscle and stamina so I could go hiking in the North Cascades I don't know what I would have done. I didn't know about this group, and in fact it didn't exist until 2010.

Please reach out to a professional for help. You should not be struggling like this.

And I have to come back because something else bugs me...I see you a lot referring to people and "their eating disorder." I assure you I do not and never have had a eating disorder. I also strongly encourage that unless you are a licensed mental health professional or are practicing under a licensed mental health professional not to tell people that they have a eat disorder as we can not dx people with it.

 

[WazzuCoug]

I ordered some unflavored protein that I have to figure out how to use. I also have ordered some samples of a different brand of protein. Just recently I tried my old protein again and so far a couple are ok and I have been able to do one a day. I am going to work at consistently getting one a day in and then move to 2.

I've tried a couple of unflavored protein powders and they are helpful for cutting down the sweeter flavored varieties by going half/half with each (or whatever suites your taste) and if you are interested in adding it to something like soup or another hot meal, I find it works better to have it mixed well in cold water prior to adding it in and then stirring it in little by little. If you try adding it in to something hot it seems to clump or not dissolve very well. At least that worked for what I use now, which is Isopure.

 

[3momchaos]

I find it works better to have it mixed well in cold water prior to adding it in and then stirring it in little by little. If you try adding it in to something hot it seems to clump or not dissolve very well. At least that worked for what I use now, which is Isopure.

THANK YOU! Seriously LOL I really have been racking my brain as to how to incorporate it without it curdling or chucking up. I’m going to try this tomorrow with something!

 

[Tokash]

I've tried a couple of unflavored protein powders and they are helpful for cutting down the sweeter flavored varieties by going half/half with each (or whatever suites your taste) and if you are interested in adding it to something like soup or another hot meal, I find it works better to have it mixed well in cold water prior to adding it in and then stirring it in little by little. If you try adding it in to something hot it seems to clump or not dissolve very well. At least that worked for what I use now, which is Isopure.

This is an odd question but can you bake it into things? Such as muffins or pancakes? I'm always looking for ways to sneak protein into my picky kids food as well.

 

[Tokash]

I’m not sure what kind of protein powder you were using before or the unflavored you have now, but my chocolate PP tends to be sweet, so I’m mixing my flavored and unflavored. It tempers the sweetness, adds more protein since my unflavored has more, and my dietician loved that I was doing that instead of just suffering through one or the other. I have a hard time mixing my unflavored PP to things because it clumps in hot substances, and tastes of coffee creamer so it yuck just in water. I have more unflavored PP experimenting to do.

I just started back on the premier protien. For unflavored I have unjury which I have mixed in my protein yogurt smoothies without issue. I ordered a sample pack of I think its called 1up to try that should arrive today. This was recommended to try by a friend.

 

[3momchaos]

This is an odd question but can you bake it into things? Such as muffins or pancakes? I'm always looking for ways to sneak protein into my picky kids food as well.

I know that it can be incorporated into pancake batter, so I would assume that it’s possible for other things. I like muffin tin egg “muffins”, and I was planning on adding it to the egg batter.

 

[missyinacage]

These first few months are certainly trying, aren't they? Why is it so freaking HARD to be happy about the weight we've lost without worrying about if we should be losing more? I am glad that you've decided to go with some snacks. I can't imagine how your program expected you to get all your protein in with only 3 meals per day. I'm 4 months out and still have 2, sometimes 3 snacks a day, since I can still only eat small amounts. I hope you have better luck adding protein to food instead of the shakes. I like that much better myself. Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing great and it's normal to doubt yourself. At least, that's what I'm doing and it works about 1/2 the time

 

[WazzuCoug]

This is an odd question but can you bake it into things? Such as muffins or pancakes? I'm always looking for ways to sneak protein into my picky kids food as well.

It's not odd at all. Yes, you can add it into baked goods. Sometimes you have to experiment to get the right ratios for things, but you can find things like high protein banana bread, brownies, pancakes and such on YouTube that use protein powder. The results can range from disaster to incredible, so it takes some experimentation.

 

[Tokash]

I got a response back from my dietician this morning. She stated it appears that I am doing everything as I should be and to just try and keep getting the water back up to 64 oz, focus on protein and get moving again. We did go for a walk last night. The last part of it ended up being a run as it started pouring and it was windy and somewhere in the 30's.

Calories at this point should be somewhere from 6-800. Which I'm in that range. Most meals are between 2-3 hundred.