How do you do it alone?

[Mimi K]

I have been asked time and time again through this process about having at home support. I live alone, and have had to pretend that I have people in my life to support me. I cannot tell the truth because it will cause more delay. This last year has been extremely difficult for me in every way, but I have to pretend like I'm OK. I've been miserable this last year and now I'm as low as I can get since I just ended a long term relationship. I do have a son who I love dearly, and he is my only reason for carrying on.

I know I can get through this in a physical, and mental sense, but I am not sure about the emotional part. I keep being told that people go through a lot of changes with this surgery, and can end up with different problems. My older sister had bypass about 11 years ago, and turned into an alcoholic. My neice had bypass 8 years ago and she is now a drug addict. At one time I was closest to these two people, but not now. I thought I was going to be able to lean on my boyfriend during this time, but that is no longer the case. I am completely alone.

 

[Kcuster83]

I am sorry you are going through a hard time. they do push the support thing but don't realize how strong people can be independently when they need to! Not that we want to be, but have to be.
And, frankly nothing is worse than "pretending" to be ok when all you want to do is give up and run away! (I have been there, might still be there. Not sure)
Just put one step forward at a time and take it day by day.
I wish you the best, if you wanna talk to vent feel free to message me.

 

[missyinacage]

I'm sorry that you aren't getting the support you deserve. That being said, you do it alone anyway. Support or not, unless someone else has the surgery with you, its a solitary activity. My husband and mother live with me and I do most of the cooking. They did not change their diet at all. So, I was in liquid and they were eating pizza and going for ice cream every night.

I mean, "YAY!! You're doing so good!!!!"is nice but this process is really about taking this time to be selfish and focus on you and your needs. If your program has a support group, join. If your insurance covers therapy, go. If none of that is an option, we are here.

You are making changes that will improve your life so much. Be proud of yourself! You'll be surprised at just how strong you are.

 

[Suthy]

5 days out from surgery and I had a light bulb moment while watching my husband eat crap while I’m trying to get another shake down, this really is on me. I can’t make this his journey, this was my choice. I really like what Missy has to say, go to therapy if you can, keep on the support groups and be proud of taking charge of your health!

 

[CarolKacz]

First off I'm sorry you are struggling. Secondly you are okay and you got this! I remember being asked that and flat out told them I was alone and had no support system like they were asking about. My parents live states away and are living their own life, I wasn't in a relationship, and I take care of myself. It is possible! I am currently seven months post-op and doing amazing! It was the best decision I made. I was like you fighting depression back around the time I started going through this. I got through it and you can as well. I've recently started talking to a therapist which is helping even more. Y have heard about people coming out of this and losing the weight and then going to drugs or alcohol. You know that is a possibility so do what you can to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Again you got this. If nothing else you have a wonderful support system here!

 

[Mimi K]

I am sorry you are going through a hard time. they do push the support thing but don't realize how strong people can be independently when they need to! Not that we want to be, but have to be.
And, frankly nothing is worse than "pretending" to be ok when all you want to do is give up and run away! (I have been there, might still be there. Not sure)
Just put one step forward at a time and take it day by day.
I wish you the best, if you wanna talk to vent feel free to message me.

Thank you! Yes, the asking all of the time is a constant reminder that I have to do it alone, but I do try take life one day at a time so I don't feel so overwhelmed.

 

[Mimi K]

I'm sorry that you aren't getting the support you deserve. That being said, you do it alone anyway. Support or not, unless someone else has the surgery with you, its a solitary activity. My husband and mother live with me and I do most of the cooking. They did not change their diet at all. So, I was in liquid and they were eating pizza and going for ice cream every night.

I mean, "YAY!! You're doing so good!!!!"is nice but this process is really about taking this time to be selfish and focus on you and your needs. If your program has a support group, join. If your insurance covers therapy, go. If none of that is an option, we are here.

You are making changes that will improve your life so much. Be proud of yourself! You'll be surprised at just how strong you are.

Thank you! This is a scary journey to go through alone, but it's not the first and probably not the last. I'm glad I have this group for support.

 

[Mimi K]

5 days out from surgery and I had a light bulb moment while watching my husband eat crap while I’m trying to get another shake down, this really is on me. I can’t make this his journey, this was my choice. I really like what Missy has to say, go to therapy if you can, keep on the support groups and be proud of taking charge of your health!

Thank you!

 

[Mimi K]

First off I'm sorry you are struggling. Secondly you are okay and you got this! I remember being asked that and flat out told them I was alone and had no support system like they were asking about. My parents live states away and are living their own life, I wasn't in a relationship, and I take care of myself. It is possible! I am currently seven months post-op and doing amazing! It was the best decision I made. I was like you fighting depression back around the time I started going through this. I got through it and you can as well. I've recently started talking to a therapist which is helping even more. Y have heard about people coming out of this and losing the weight and then going to drugs or alcohol. You know that is a possibility so do what you can to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Again you got this. If nothing else you have a wonderful support system here!

Thank you! Yes, I just wondered if anyone here had issues with depression after surgery, and I'm glad to hear you didn't. I've had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, and have been on medication for over 10 years. It saved my life. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[ksim]

5 days out from surgery and I had a light bulb moment while watching my husband eat crap while I’m trying to get another shake down, this really is on me. I can’t make this his journey, this was my choice. I really like what Missy has to say, go to therapy if you can, keep on the support groups and be proud of taking charge of your health!

You got this. You are so worth it!