Coming here to introduce myself, I guess. I'm 24F and I just got to my highest weight ever, 300lbs. I'm feeling a bit discouraged about myself and I'm not really sure who to talk to about this... I have some great friends, but this is such an embarrassing topic for me. I know I need support and someone to talk to about this stuff, but I can't bring myself to talk to my friends about it. Hence why I am here.
I made an appointment with the bariatric team in October and I had my first appointment a few days ago. They gave the rundown of all the hoops I need to jump through before they can help me. I need to lose 15 pounds over 6 months, and pass a psych eval and various medical tests. I never thought this would be my life, and I'm really discouraged with myself. I have a lot of CSA trauma that definitely contributed to me trying to use food as a coping mechanism, and it definitely got out of hand while I was dealing with other parts of life. And then COVID happened, that definitely didn't help!
I feel very guilty and shameful about the state of my body currently... Stretchmarks everywhere and 150lbs overweight, at just 24 years old... it feels so unfair. At my lowest moments I wonder if it's even worth fixing... if I am even worth the trouble. It feels like there is SO MUCH to do, and I just don't have the energy to do it. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have it be fixed. And it feels like a punishment that I have to fix this mess.
And yet, the other parts of my life are going really really well, and I want to be able to go hiking with my friends and not get winded going up a flight of stairs.... and I want to be able to look down and see my naughty bits again, without squishing or pulling on my tummy. I want to do a pullup. And sleep on my back without gasping for air.
Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! And anyone going through something similar with body image issues... or past trauma.
Thank you so much!
I made an appointment with the bariatric team in October and I had my first appointment a few days ago. They gave the rundown of all the hoops I need to jump through before they can help me. I need to lose 15 pounds over 6 months, and pass a psych eval and various medical tests. I never thought this would be my life, and I'm really discouraged with myself. I have a lot of CSA trauma that definitely contributed to me trying to use food as a coping mechanism, and it definitely got out of hand while I was dealing with other parts of life. And then COVID happened, that definitely didn't help!
I feel very guilty and shameful about the state of my body currently... Stretchmarks everywhere and 150lbs overweight, at just 24 years old... it feels so unfair. At my lowest moments I wonder if it's even worth fixing... if I am even worth the trouble. It feels like there is SO MUCH to do, and I just don't have the energy to do it. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have it be fixed. And it feels like a punishment that I have to fix this mess.
And yet, the other parts of my life are going really really well, and I want to be able to go hiking with my friends and not get winded going up a flight of stairs.... and I want to be able to look down and see my naughty bits again, without squishing or pulling on my tummy. I want to do a pullup. And sleep on my back without gasping for air.
Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! And anyone going through something similar with body image issues... or past trauma.
Thank you so much!