No support from a dear friend

[DLK]

I am post op 2 weeks and doing well with my pureed diet as at least it's real tasty food that can make myself. My only major disappointment happened today when a dear friend responded to me after I called her following my Drs visit. I told her that I am well, on track, and can get more active now. I told her that I have lost a lot of weight. Her response was "well of course you lost weight, you are starving yourself". It hurt because no matter how much I told her about vitamins, iron shots, and IV infusions to make up for diet deficit she has been against me doing this adamantly. She is like my best friend and at 65 yrs old I really want to find common ground. Suggestions?

 

[Barb123]

Hey @DLK I hope your still doing well post-op! Your friend probably said that without really thinking about it. I wouldn't be to hard on her about her comments. She just doesn't understand and likely won't be educated on what we really go through. Anytime I hear a friend say something about "starving herself" or "taking the easy way out", I just ignore it at this point, and I try not to hold it against them. Most people just plainly don't understand, and won't ever. That's why it's great to have a group like this one where everyone has gone through some similar struggles. Sometimes this page seems like there's nobody around, but I think there are tons of silent people just browsing through all of the posts and finding support just by reading what others have also gone through.

Sorry if I got off topic on that lol, sometimes I just start typing and end up very far away from the original topic

 

[DLK]

Hey @DLK I hope your still doing well post-op! Your friend probably said that without really thinking about it. I wouldn't be to hard on her about her comments. She just doesn't understand and likely won't be educated on what we really go through. Anytime I hear a friend say something about "starving herself" or "taking the easy way out", I just ignore it at this point, and I try not to hold it against them. Most people just plainly don't understand, and won't ever. That's why it's great to have a group like this one where everyone has gone through some similar struggles. Sometimes this page seems like there's nobody around, but I think there are tons of silent people just browsing through all of the posts and finding support just by reading what others have also gone through.

Sorry if I got off topic on that lol, sometimes I just start typing and end up very far away from the original topic

Thank you Barb.

 

[dianeseattle]

This is exactly why I didn't tell anyone except my best friend and my son. It would have been nonstop judgment and inspection 24/7.

Seriously, if you're reading along out of curiosity but haven't made the move yet, examine your motivations. You probably have a lot of reasons for doing this. But ONLY YOU can feel the impact of those reasons. Successful surgery and lifestyle changes, including improved health, are not chit-chat for conversation fodder. On the highest level, this process is truly spiritual. If you bring it into some form of discussion, you dishonor it, make it mediocre, and instead of being a life-saving miracle, it sounds like a passing fad that deserves no respect.

In my life, along with giving birth and a few other successes, dropping more than 100 pounds and hiking legendary trails and mountains, canoeing remote lakes and rivers, buying an entire new wardrobe and donating all my other clothes to others who needed them, these things have been the blessings of my life. And btw, I'm almost 20 years post-op.

 

[GiantsLola]

I am post op 2 weeks and doing well with my pureed diet as at least it's real tasty food that can make myself. My only major disappointment happened today when a dear friend responded to me after I called her following my Drs visit. I told her that I am well, on track, and can get more active now. I told her that I have lost a lot of weight. Her response was "well of course you lost weight, you are starving yourself". It hurt because no matter how much I told her about vitamins, iron shots, and IV infusions to make up for diet deficit she has been against me doing this adamantly. She is like my best friend and at 65 yrs old I really want to find common ground. Suggestions?

I'm sorry this happened to you. I think her seeing you over time may help. Some people won't understand and there's no changing it. However, she may be saying it out of worry. I probably wouldn't bring it up for a while and see if she does.

 

[Book1sh]

You didn’t say whether she was heavy too. I found my heavy friends were more against it than the thinner ones. Perhaps because they didn’t want to think that losing weight can be actually succeed. Hang in there