Me again, lol I feel like this is such a personal journey that I have not shared with many people. The ones that know, my husband, son, mom, and a very close friend, and a friend who did this ten years ago and I asked/told them not to discuss my plans or they die lol. I guess I didn't want to hear any negativity. I like this group because someone has gone or is going through the same thing. I guess I will lose some girlfriends and then they were probably not real friends if they do that. I just did not want to share my journey with people I know in real time. I know, strange because you all are in real time lol ranting, after its over and I am better than I will tell or say...thanks for the ear.