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Not many people know I’m having surgery. My husband and daughter know along with three close friends. I won’t be telling my parents or my sisters ( 2 of them). I don’t want the added attention and while I know their intentions would be good ones, I know they would feel the need to continuously ask me how I am doing. I need to work through this at my own pace.

One of the things I still need to figure out is what to say to others when they notice the weight loss. In my best case scenario no one would say anything...but I’m sure people at work will comment.

You just have to decide which path is best for you.
 
I have not "put it out there" in that forum, although I have been tempted to start and show progress pics, educate people that it is not an easy fix, etc. I just don't know that I want to make myself a poster child of the bariatric world. I have already had some really negative responses from people that I thought were "safe" to tell in my personal life. That said, I follow some people that were not going to share and now have a HUGE following of supporters. I guess it is just up to each person as to how much BS they are willing to risk to make it public.
 
I am the type of person that will share anything with anyone. I am an open book, all you have to do is ask. I have shared with everyone in my office as well as two other offices in my company, and with my friends and family. I haven't shared on social media, but that is probably because I am never on it, lol. But I have thought about it. I had one girl who had the weirdest reaction to my news. She said she was sorry, like someone had just died. I was baffled. I just looked at her and asked why. She spouted off something negative (I honestly don't remember her words) but I simply told her there was not a thing to be sorry about. I was taking control of my life and couldn't be more excited. I then thanked her for her input but told her I was good without the negative feelings. She seemed confused by me, but no more than I was by her. Just go with what feels right for you. Eventually I will update my social media photo's and start showing the rest of the world that there has been a change in my life. I have no idea what I will say when people start commenting, but I'm not too worried about it. One way or another, I'll make it through it :)
 
JAKSBlue said:
Hi Brenda - Can you tell me if you have any regrets of not telling everyone? I haven't told anyone yet. not sure why.
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Nope, I'm very happy with the choice to only tell a few people.

When I was considering surgery back in 2007 & again in 2012, I would talk about it openly & got so many negative opinions. I don't think that was a major factor when it came to cancelling, but this time, I kept it to just my biggest supporters who truly understand my struggle with food/weight.

I do wish I could tell my brother because we're close but his wife would blab to everyone and use it against me.

Fortunately for me it's been an easy secret to keep. My cycle is to drop 80-100 pounds every few years & then regain within a year. So it's not unusual for me to have such a big weight loss. So no one is thinking that I've done anything differently this time. It's the keeping it off that is going to shock everyone. :p

Something is telling you to keep it private, I think you should trust your instincts. It's nice to have support but that can be 1 trusted person in your life or even this group! :)
 
Brenda2010 said:
Nope, I'm very happy with the choice to only tell a few people.

When I was considering surgery back in 2007 & again in 2012, I would talk about it openly & got so many negative opinions. I don't think that was a major factor when it came to cancelling, but this time, I kept it to just my biggest supporters who truly understand my struggle with food/weight.

I do wish I could tell my brother because we're close but his wife would blab to everyone and use it against me.

Fortunately for me it's been an easy secret to keep. My cycle is to drop 80-100 pounds every few years & then regain within a year. So it's not unusual for me to have such a big weight loss. So no one is thinking that I've done anything differently this time. It's the keeping it off that is going to shock everyone. :p

Something is telling you to keep it private, I think you should trust your instincts. It's nice to have support but that can be 1 trusted person in your life or even this group! :)
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Thanks!!! I just feel like if I told people then that would ALWAYS be topic of conversation... "So, how much weight did you lose?" "Are you supposed to be eating that?" "Aren't you supposed to lose 100 lbs in a day? Why are you still so big?" Questions like that will piss me off. I am SURE I will lose a lot of weight, but I am also SURE I will hit weeks that I dont lose any. And NO YOU DO NOT LOSE 100#'s on the operating table! LOL. That and people thinking I took the "easy way out". There does not seem to be ANYTHING easy about this process. But I am very excited at the prospect of gaining years on my life!

Started the process of quitting smoking.... its challenging to say the least! but one hour at a time.

RNY? That is the one I think I am leaning toward... even with the threat of dumping :) Is that the one you got too?
 
JAKSBlue said:
Thanks!!! I just feel like if I told people then that would ALWAYS be topic of conversation... "So, how much weight did you lose?" "Are you supposed to be eating that?" "Aren't you supposed to lose 100 lbs in a day? Why are you still so big?" Questions like that will piss me off. I am SURE I will lose a lot of weight, but I am also SURE I will hit weeks that I dont lose any. And NO YOU DO NOT LOSE 100#'s on the operating table! LOL. That and people thinking I took the "easy way out". There does not seem to be ANYTHING easy about this process. But I am very excited at the prospect of gaining years on my life!

Started the process of quitting smoking.... its challenging to say the least! but one hour at a time.

RNY? That is the one I think I am leaning toward... even with the threat of dumping :) Is that the one you got too?
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I hear you on all of that. I have a couple cousins and an aunt who had surgery and have heard what gets said behind their backs... their eating is scrutinized and any gain is like an "I told you so, I knew it wouldn't work for her". It's unfair and disrespectful but it's the way lots of people think.

Very far from easy indeed! Good luck with quitting smoking, I know it's a really tough addiction but you can do it! :)

Yup, I went with RNY. Felt like if I was going to go for it, go all the way, you know? Each surgery has it's pros and cons but for me, it was an easy choice. :)
 
Brenda2010 said:
I hear you on all of that. I have a couple cousins and an aunt who had surgery and have heard what gets said behind their backs... their eating is scrutinized and any gain is like an "I told you so, I knew it wouldn't work for her". It's unfair and disrespectful but it's the way lots of people think.

Very far from easy indeed! Good luck with quitting smoking, I know it's a really tough addiction but you can do it! :)

Yup, I went with RNY. Felt like if I was going to go for it, go all the way, you know? Each surgery has it's pros and cons but for me, it was an easy choice. :)
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SO GLAD i found this site!
 
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