Stress and cravings

[3momchaos]

It’s been a heck of a week! My mom had knee replacement revision last Friday, and my aunt flew in from Florida to help her at night while I’ve been going during the day so she can sleep and I can help my mom. My kids had to come too for a few days to do their virtual learning since my husbands back in the office a little. Thursday I was almost in a car accident that scared me bad enough that I had to pull off the highway, so I could freak out and cry. Then dealing with my moms surgeons office trying to set up PT has been a point of contention because they want to force us to use their PT and not the once she wants, but I got it all figured out. My mom and aunt have a contentious relationship, and my moms very stubborn, so it’s been stressful dealing with things between them. Thursday was the first day when I was so stressed that I craved sweets. When I’m overwhelmed stressed is when all those nasty carb cravings hit. I know this about me, so I got myself a sugar free Russel Stovers dark chocolate and salted caramel bar. I broke off 2 squares, and put the rest away. I did have more later, but I also wasn’t going to eat the whole thing and make my stomach hurt from the volume. I didn’t feel bad or guilty about doing this because I knew it wasn’t the worst food choice I could make. What I do feel crummy about is that my water and calorie intake has been too low this week since I’ve been slammed getting other things done. Also, my aunt can only seem to talk about how fat she’s gotten (her words, not mine). She’s very happy that my choice to have WLS has been successful, her step daughter had the sleeve in 2019 and she’s doing great, but she seems to bring up her weight multiple times a day. I made them dinners all week, more home cooked meals than she’s had in a LONG time, and I’ve not gotten any sweets for them to have. I guess I bring it up as a stressor because it reminds me that we all make choices and are responsible for what we eat and drink, no one can force it on us, but she always blames her husband for her poor eating habits. I just want to hold up a mirror to her and tell her she’s accountable for her actions. I knew that my food choices got me to where I needed surgery because my health was becoming an issue, but it’s hard saying that to someone else.
I keep seeing Judys words, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, and it’s so true. I’m not going back to my moms until Monday, and next week I’ll be there a little less since they need me less. I only have 2 things that are absolutely necessary to get done today, so I’ll do those then relax, drink water, and make good food choices the rest of the day. I’d say I still have low range sweets cravings right now, but they’re probably just lingering from residual stress LOL

 

[missyinacage]

Sorry you're having such a stressful week. I really relate to what you have going on with your mom, your aunt and weight loss conversations. My mom moved in with me last year and her arthritis has really gotten so bad she can barely get up. She was already heavy but has gained about 12 lbs in the last few months, even though the doctors explained he cannot do knee replacement until she loses 50lbs. But all she talks about is how fat she is and how she was the same weight for YEARS (which was still almost 300lbs) and now that she's moved in here and trying to lose, she's going up and up. I cook healthy dinners every day and measure hers out as well (she asked me to) but she acts like she isn't snacking on chips/cookies and ice cream literally all day and night. My cousin also had WLS about 6 months before I did. She has not hit her goal so our conversations always revolve around weight. I don't bring it up anymore but it still ends up sitting there between us. Pretty much my whole family is heavy and while they're all happy for me, I am always left feeling that by losing weight, I have somehow made them feel worse about themselves. It's not really a comfortable place to be.

 

[JudyNY]

3mom, I am glad you are able to cut back now as caregiver and also glad my words are helping you remember to take care of yourself. Have a good weekend and really bathe in that self care, and may next week be a lot less stressful for you!

 

[JudyNY]

Missy, I get how you can be made to feel uncomfortable around family members when you are being successful and they probably are jealous and it probably comes off as resentful at times. Hopefully they will get use to the new you and either try to join you or just keep quiet and be more accepting. Whatever happens, just stay in your lane. You are doing great!