Thanks For Having Me...

[Rex1965]

Fifty-something black male, sleeve gastrectomy in January 2016. Initial weight 330 lbs. Got down to 257, but now hovering around 270-280. I am an emotional eater and I am dealing with a lot, mother is currently in a nursing home with dementia. My brother and I are not speaking and I am also a disabled vet with PTSD and depression. I get easily triggered and I eat. I gave up smoking and alcohol in 2006 and 2009. I am trying to get back on track, but it's really difficult. I was spinning my wheels with my nutritionist. Feeling helpless and afraid. Feedback is appreciated.

 

[missdarmitage]

Welcome to the group Rex. Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on. You are doing great in reaching out for help and advice. When you reach out for something to eat, do you have a certain type of food you turn to (carbs, sweets, chips, etc...) or do you just go for what is easiest? The amounts you are eating, are they still within the 8 oz per meal range or have you been taking in more than that at a time? When you say you were spinning your wheels with the nutritionist, how did they not help? Were you looking for recipes or specific foods you should/shouldn't eat? Sorry for all of the questions, I just want to get a clear picture of what is going on and how we might be able to help with some advice. Also, between the PTSD, depression, and WLS, do you see a therapist/counselor/psychologist at all?

 

[Rex1965]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I do see a therapist biweekly. I had a nutritionist but I was basically spinning my wheels with her and after four years with her I feel like we've run our course. She understands and says the door is always open - she is the one who suggested that I find an online group like this! I try not to eat out, but I do work at a military base that serves up meat & potato style dishes. The funny thing is I have developed a sweet tooth post sleeve surgery. My go to foods are still things that are salty, crunchy and fatty, but I am eating more sweet stuff. I was going to AA and OA but stopped for reasons I am not ready to talk about yet. Suffice it to say they became somewhat cliquish and my sponsors in said groups all relapsed! Don't go to VA groups for PTSD, there is a waiting list . So I have been going it alone. I am a serious introvert so that is a challenge as well. Which is why an online group has some appeal to me.

Missdarmitage, I did buy myself a scale to weigh my food on this past Christmas - have started to weigh some things to get a better idea of portions.

Dianeseattle, thank you for your empathy, it is appreciated greatly. We'll see what happens. I am at my 1300 calorie limit today and did a workout about an hour ago. Filling up on water right now. Thanks again for the welcome and the feedback.

 

[mmitti]

Rex, welcome to the group. I'm 65 and just had my VSG on Jan. 21. Tomorrow is my one week post-op appointment.
I've been thinking about food the last couple days, but I'm following my diet to the letter. I'm sending encouragement to you. I hope you and your brother can reconcile; siblings can be supportive. What kind of support system do you have? I took care of both my parents, both had dementia, and had to put them in a nursing home; it's been a few years since they each passed. That was a wild ride.

 

[Rex1965]

Yes mmitti, the dementia is a wild ride and I ride the rollercoaster of guilt, which contributes to my eating. I've done pouch resets, intermittent fasting, keto, I'm exercising but without proper food consumption, it seems like a waste of time.

 

[mmitti]

Trying to stay on a diet has been the scourge of my life. Even now, 6 days after surgery, I think of food I want to eat. I need to conquer this now. What do you feel guilty about?

 

[missdarmitage]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I do see a therapist biweekly. I had a nutritionist but I was basically spinning my wheels with her and after four years with her I feel like we've run our course. She understands and says the door is always open - she is the one who suggested that I find an online group like this! I try not to eat out, but I do work at a military base that serves up meat & potato style dishes. The funny thing is I have developed a sweet tooth post sleeve surgery. My go to foods are still things that are salty, crunchy and fatty, but I am eating more sweet stuff. I was going to AA and OA but stopped for reasons I am not ready to talk about yet. Suffice it to say they became somewhat cliquish and my sponsors in said groups all relapsed! Don't go to VA groups for PTSD, there is a waiting list . So I have been going it alone. I am a serious introvert so that is a challenge as well. Which is why an online group has some appeal to me.

Missdarmitage, I did buy myself a scale to weigh my food on this past Christmas - have started to weigh some things to get a better idea of portions.

Dianeseattle, thank you for your empathy, it is appreciated greatly. We'll see what happens. I am at my 1300 calorie limit today and did a workout about an hour ago. Filling up on water right now. Thanks again for the welcome and the feedback.

I am right there with you on being an introvert. I have just recently started making myself go out of my comfort zone and it is not easy.

I'm really glad you found us! Do you take your meals to work or do you tend to eat there more often? I have realized when I like to snack, I go for what is ready and easy. To help combat that a little bit, I have meal prepped my snacks. For crunchy, I make a parmesan crisp (seriously it is just shredded parmesan cheese that fills the bottom 1/3 of a mini muffin tin, baked at 350 for 10 min). I store it in the fridge in a bowl that I can simply just grab one or two and go. I also make protein pudding to help with the sweet. I buy SF pudding (chocolate fudge is my favorite!) and add a scoop of unflavored protein powder to give it a boost. I then put it in 4 oz jars and leave a little room at the top to add SF cool whip for just a touch more of that "sweet" taste. Again, in the jars I can grab one and not worry about eating too much. I will also buy veggie chips and put them into snack size ziplock bags.

Definitely look around this site and you will find lots of shared recipes. One thing we all have in common is our love of food and the battle with the demon that tells us it is okay to eat all of the food all of the time. Keep posting and hopefully this group will be able to provide some advice and help

 

[missdarmitage]

Miss D! Good suggestions! Do you use parmesan cheese that you great yourself or out of the can?

I grate it myself Takes only a couple of minutes and then the rest is just waiting for it to cook and cool!

 

[Rex1965]

"What do you feel guilty about? "

A better question is what DON'T I feel guilty about. Some days I even take responsibility for the HINDENBURG disaster.
Working on it.

 

[ajf55]

Join a Senior Community group, U can go as many days a wk as U want, they have different activities, they go on bus trips to shows & other events, maybe U can get some socialization it helps pass your time & help w/ your depression. They even do Senior exercise classes U do what U can handle, wood working classes. U can usually eat lunch there for a couple of dollars,
Something to think about.
Good Luck getting back to your Healthy eating. U will do fine. We R all here to Cheer U on.

 

[ajf55]

I bought little 4 oz Containers in the Dollar Store, made Tiny Turkey Meatballs, I weighed each one & put them in the freezer for when I can eat something solid. When I had my Lapband 15 yrs ago, I use muffin pans & made 3-4 oz Turkey Meatloaf's it was great to just grab something.

 

[missyinacage]

Hi, Rex! Everyone has had great advice, so I don't have much to add. I just wanted to welcome you and let you know we're all here for you. And we ALL understand how you can get caught up in your own head, real or imagined (Hindenburg, indeed! lol) and how comforting food can be. You've done a great job losing weight. Not to mention quitting smoking and drinking. Congratulation on all of that.

 

[Rex1965]

Thanks everyone...thanks for helping me get back on track. No one, no one here has said anything wrong.

 

[ajf55]

Didn't realize he was only in his 50's

 

[Rex1965]

Didn't realize he was only in his 50's

As they say, black don't crack, but in my case, it certainly expands .

 

[Rex1965]

Good food this week. Exercise okay...I will need to do more.

 

[ajf55]

GREAT KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

 

[JustMe]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I do see a therapist biweekly. I had a nutritionist but I was basically spinning my wheels with her and after four years with her I feel like we've run our course. She understands and says the door is always open - she is the one who suggested that I find an online group like this! I try not to eat out, but I do work at a military base that serves up meat & potato style dishes. The funny thing is I have developed a sweet tooth post sleeve surgery. My go to foods are still things that are salty, crunchy and fatty, but I am eating more sweet stuff. I was going to AA and OA but stopped for reasons I am not ready to talk about yet. Suffice it to say they became somewhat cliquish and my sponsors in said groups all relapsed! Don't go to VA groups for PTSD, there is a waiting list . So I have been going it alone. I am a serious introvert so that is a challenge as well. Which is why an online group has some appeal to me.

Missdarmitage, I did buy myself a scale to weigh my food on this past Christmas - have started to weigh some things to get a better idea of portions.

Dianeseattle, thank you for your empathy, it is appreciated greatly. We'll see what happens. I am at my 1300 calorie limit today and did a workout about an hour ago. Filling up on water right now. Thanks again for the welcome and the feedback.

How are you doing these days, Rex1965? I'm new to the group and I just read your story. My heart goes out to you. I hope that you are doing well.