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Unsupportive family

Katdpete

Katdpete

Member
Has anyone dealt with family (or friends) being negative and unsupportive with your decision to have bariatric surgery? I was quite surprised and hurt by some of the comments I’ve received, but I’m learning to take it with a grain of salt. My aunt told me “Well, I’d rather be fat and choose happiness. You probably haven’t done enough to lose the weight on your own, and I think you’re doing it just to look good.” Um…no? I’ve tried everything, and have worked on it for years. I have health issues due to my weight that can be reversed (or alleviated at least), and I’m doing this to have a healthier and happier life. It’s just frustrating.
 
Yes, I have. I wrote about my experience in another thread. I have a feeling the naysayers will never accept you have tried other alternatives, and those did not work for your body. I had tried just about everything, that I even had doubts whether the surgery would be effective. The surgeon reassured me it would. My two sisters are not supportive of the surgery and have only asked me once how I am doing. Fortunately, I found this website, and feel reassured that surgery was a good decision.
 
Don’t let them get to you. You’re doing this for yourself, not for them, so you can live a healthier life. You’ll always run into negative people, just gotta learn to ignore them and stick to your plan. I’ve been very careful with who I’ve told about my surgery bc I don’t want to hear any crappy commentary. Stay strong!
 
I’ve been extremely selective about who I have told because I didn’t want the feed back. Now I’m finding I’m getting a lot of attention, mostly at work due to losing close to 80#. People just HAVE to know what I’m doing to lose the weight, others question when I’m going to stop losing. I’ve found that regardless of the choice to tell people or not, there will always be people that question your choices. Some people are just negative. This is a decision you have made for YOUR health and well being, so it doesn’t matter what they say.
 
Agree with you Suthy. I think you & I had surgery around same time in Sept. I haven’t told many people at work, but also constantly am asked how I’m doing it. I’m also just over 80 lbs lost total so it’s very noticeable. I just say I’ve been committed to high protein low carb and working out regularly since April which is all true. They prob are wondering if I had the surgery, but it’s no one’s business. Don’t feel pressured to tell people, Katdpete, esp those you think will just try to discourage you.
 
To tell or not to tell / who to tell or who not to tell is the $64,000 question!
For me, I told only close family members. It’s a personal decision. There will always be people who will have negative comments - toxic opinions. From personal experience - family and close friends seem to have the most negative and toxic opinions. My suggestion is simple get yourself a big toxic bitch be gone broom and broom the toxic people - family or close friends - to the curb with the rest of the trash. I personally don’t have time, energy, or the desire to deal with negative toxic people. The people that truly care about you will be supportive. You got this!!
 
I agree that even when you don't tell, some people can't help but be negative. Those who truly wish the best for you WILL come around. I had many family members ask why I couldn't do it "naturally" .. Same reason you can't is a great response lol

My husband was adamantly against it. People close to you worry that your choices are going to change not only your life, but theirs as well. Which is true. My husband had the sleeve a year ago and has never been happier. So, make the best choice FOR YOU. Others can hop on board .. Or F off lol
 
Yes, after my first surgery my friends and co-workers where a pain in the butt. However, I have learned to love myself at every step of the way. I am still -75 down from my highest weight presleeve. I have GERD and other issues. Revision will provide me with a better quality of life. I learned not to care what others think of my choices. Counseling has helped. Remember this is your life!
 
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