sleepysarah
Member
My husband is going through the Lebanon PA Veteran’s Admin. bariatric surgery program. We’ve finally gotten a date for surgery (which may change: March 3, ‘20).
He needs to lose wait pre-surgery though.
But he won’t tell anyone why. And he won’t let me tell anyone either. He says I’m being selfish, that he’s the one who needs support! He’s never said things like that before! We’re Christian and I’ve always been his “helpmate”. We pray together and he’s told me about his weight struggles and food addiction. But now he has clammed up. Won’t talk to his family or mine about the surgery.
I need support too! I’ll be his caregiver after surgery. He has a rotten memory... if he wants me to “help” him, I’m going to need some back-up for when I need to rant or just talk about how I feel because he struggles with me, as a woman, being more emotional than he is.
I tried to explain this to him. “You’re not alone in this.” “This effects both of us.” “Why can’t I talk to anyone about this? What if I have struggles too?”
Is this a normal attitude for guys who are pre-surgery? Will he treat me, his wife, like this after the surgery too?
He needs to lose wait pre-surgery though.
But he won’t tell anyone why. And he won’t let me tell anyone either. He says I’m being selfish, that he’s the one who needs support! He’s never said things like that before! We’re Christian and I’ve always been his “helpmate”. We pray together and he’s told me about his weight struggles and food addiction. But now he has clammed up. Won’t talk to his family or mine about the surgery.
I need support too! I’ll be his caregiver after surgery. He has a rotten memory... if he wants me to “help” him, I’m going to need some back-up for when I need to rant or just talk about how I feel because he struggles with me, as a woman, being more emotional than he is.
I tried to explain this to him. “You’re not alone in this.” “This effects both of us.” “Why can’t I talk to anyone about this? What if I have struggles too?”
Is this a normal attitude for guys who are pre-surgery? Will he treat me, his wife, like this after the surgery too?