When my brother was in the hospital and doctors weren't listening to my concerns (his only relative able to stay by his side after he was arlifted to Seattle from his home 150 miles east), I went to the ombudsman and eventually was able to get a team of medical personnel to look at his treatment. They were not really concerned with his health but worried about malpractice.
I was so obnoxious and persistent, they changed everything and he got much, much better, though he died a few months later. I saw the problems doctors couldn't see because I KNEW him.
Don't take no for an answer. If you've been told by any doctor that you need to lose weight or risk comorbidities and death, you qualify. If an MD says yes but a PsychMD says no, you need a disinterested third party to break the logjam.
See if there's an ombudsman at the hospital who will be an objective ear regarding your case. There's no upside to a hospital denying surgery when a patient's health is at risk. But they may really need to defer to the main surgeon. It's weird to me that you've been in some kind of pre-op program for a year. A decision like this is generally made rather quickly and if you don't qualify, they tell you soon. You need fresh eyes on this.
