• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

audley newby here

audley1

Member
I need to vent a little I hope it is OK> I had been on and off this list for surgery for 3 years. My family kept having disasters that I had to help with taking up the time and moving me off the list. The first time I lost 27 lbs then dropped, the next time I lost 45lbs and dropped this time I lost40 lbs before surgery all in 2 years on my own. I maintained the weight losses. No one said anything to me about it! My friends or my family. I have the surgery finally 4 days after surgery I put out a picture on Facebook to people who had seen all the time and those that had seen me at a reunion 4 weeks before. I had only lost 6 lbs and everyone was ranting and raving on how good I looked. :mad: I was so mad and hurt that they were all saying how much the surgery had changed me. It was like the never noticed my struggle before the surgery. I was not heavy as a child or as a teen I never got heavy until I got pregnant. Most of my friends we have know each other since elementary school. And still hang out. So I felt like these " friends" didn't really look at me or pay attention to me for at least 4 years and that hurt! big time. I had to stop going to our gatherings because I became so angry of the " surgery really helped you" I wanted to punch someone. I have been think and I have been heavy so I know the phony people on both ends. But to have your best friends not see the me I was just sucked. I didn't do this to be thin or to look good. I did it to get off all the meds i had to take, I have been able to get off type 2 diabetics meds now. I have always been comfortable in my skin no matter how big it was. My mantra was there horses and there are horses. Some are Kentucky Trotters, some are Clydesdales, But both clean up real good and are beautiful! But when you Kentucky trotters are done with your short 1/4 mile race us Clydesdales will still be pulling the wagon, and still looking good. We will out work you always!
Now that i am loosing I still feel the same way! It is for health not looks! And all these friends who go for looks weren't even looking!
 
oh hon you go ahead and vent away....i had the similar situation.....they called me vain.....they would just come right out and say it.....that i just wanted to be skinny.....IT IS FOR HEALTH.....my fav is when they say it is the "EASY" way out.....I would like to see any of them give up what we have had to and also go thru such a life altering stage of life....i have been big for 14 years.....and also never really liked it but didnt sweat it either, UNTIL i wasnt healthy enough to work.....or that my feet hurt so bad that i was getting shots in them just cause they couldnt carry my weight.....i am soo sorry that your friends never really saw you that has to hurt.....what my dad always says "put your pain in a positive light and you can do anything" I love your last line.....i feel the same way "we will out work you always"!!!!

Angela
 
hi
sorry to hear of all you've been through, but the BEST part is, YOU DIDN"T GIVE UP. you're on the road to a NEW HEALTHIER YOU, friends whom don't understand us, it's hard and I think some are jealous of the new you. you are so right they have no idea what all it involves to have the surgery and how much we have to give up permantely in order to become the healthier people we want to be. we know it's no instant cure either, it's a lifetime comminment. NEVER gi ve up on YOURSELF.keep your chin up high and one day maybe they'll realize how good of a friend you are if not they are the ones' loosing out, for they lost a good friend. this room is so understanding and supportive. hope your weeks goes well for you. Donna
 
Hi Audley, I'm going point out the other side of the coin. Maybe, just maybe they paid you the compliments, because you had the surgery and they wanted to give you moral support. During the time of your difficulties, did your friends support you? Maybe they were focusing on your problems at the time. Then again, I could be all wet. If you are still hurt, maybe talking to them about it would clear the air for you. Either way, I'm impressed with what you went through to get to the surgery. I know that you are going to succeed, because you already have.

AngeeBaby, Those who said you are being vain are either jealous because you had the courage to take this step, or they are just mean spirited people you don't need in your life.

My family and friends have all been great, really behind me in this journey. I have a feeling you'll both be Big Losers this year.

:cool:

 
Last edited:
Back
Top