• American Bariatrics is a free online Bariatric Support Group. Register for your free account and get access to all of our great features!

New to Group, need help!

L

Landrethmom

Member
Hello everyone .. I’m new to the site. I am planning on have the sleeve gastrectomy in Dec. Still going through all the “pre surgery hoops”.
I am married with 3 grown boys, (25, 20 & 18) and grandson (3). So I am so ready for this surgery so I can keep up with the grandson and hopefully future grandkids.
But I really need right now is to talk to about 10 people who’s had surgery. I’d like to hear:
• How your surgery went, coming home, learning to eat again? Good & bad.
• How did affect (if any) your relationship with your spouse/sufficient other?
• How was the rest of your family with the decision and your results?
Thanks!
 
Hello. I am a 6 year RNY post op. To answer your questions: My surgery well very well. I was back to work in 4 weeks, and I actually went back to a class I was taking a week later to take a final. Learning to eat again was very tedious. I would get frustrated early. I could never quite get my protein or water in like I wanted. It actually took about 18 months for me to finally get it all in. I learned that food was FUEL and fuel only. It really does change your relationship you have with food.
I remember about 6 months post-op I was shopping with some friends who decided to go into a bakery. I followed in and the minute I walked through the door, the sugar smell hit me like a freight train. I had to run out of there before I vomited! I still have that feeling with overly sweet smells, and I do NOT cross that line.
I was married at the time, currently divorced, but I don't believe that it had anything to do with the weight loss. We were better friends than a married couple.
I wasn't really concerned with my family's reaction. I did however lose too much weight (I honestly didn't think there WAS that possibility) and their concern grew. It wasn't until my surgeon stated I needed to GAIN some weight back that it hit me how I was spiraling in the other direction.
I hope this answered your questions. Please feel free to contact me at any time!!
 
Thanks for the reply. Wow loose too much weight that would be a dream LOL
I am really getting excited about this... just these small changes I’ve already made I've dropped 10 lbs. since Sept.
I am still deciding who I tell and who I don't. Especially work people. I work with some opinionated people so I am not interested in what they have to say. My immediate family knows and some close friends.
Good luck to you too.
:eek:
Rhonda
 
I am going to go out a limb here but with grown kids I don't think it is much of a leap. For the past 25 years you have put your family before yourself. Guess what your kids are grown. Yes you are doing this for them in a sense but this is something for you. Their reaction really shouldn't matter because in order to be there for them and for your grandson and future grandchildren you have to lose the weight.

One awesome thing about the sleeve is that it cuts out the part of the stomach that sends off hunger cues. My surgeon has been adamant about sticking to a schedule. I haven't had my surgery yet; however, both of my parents have the lap band. If they don't eat like say dinner by a certain time, they both start to get very nauseated.

I went into this with my heart set on the band. My family was fine with this because at 450 I need to lose the weight and by some grace of God I have managed to circumvent some very bad genetic health problems that plague both sides of my family. However, my mom is terrified now that I have getting the sleeve done. She is excited for me but at the same time being a mom. I have an 8 1/2 month old son. I have never pictured myself as a fat mom and now that I am a fat mom I don't like it. I want to be able to run and play with Logan without having to take a time out every 10 minutes.
 
You are so right, it's been family first. Good luck with your surgery, look forward to hearing good reports from you.
Thanks,
Rhonda
 
Landrethmom said:
Thanks for the reply. Wow loose too much weight that would be a dream LOL
I am really getting excited about this... just these small changes I’ve already made I've dropped 10 lbs. since Sept.
I am still deciding who I tell and who I don't. Especially work people. I work with some opinionated people so I am not interested in what they have to say. My immediate family knows and some close friends.
Good luck to you too.
:eek:
Rhonda
Click to expand...
Rhonda, this is a very personal decision and you should only do what makes you feel comfortable. A few months ago I was going to tell one of my friends about the surgery, and before I could, she started telling me about a friend's wife who was planning on having the bypass. She got this disgusted look on her face and said "I just don't understand--- if you need to lose weight, just eat less". Right. OK people, raise your hand if you've ever lost 100 pounds. And shout out if you've ever kept it off.
Skinny people just don't get it.
 
Welcome. I am 17 month post of. Surgery went well and I was 57 when having it. Took 1 month off of work, but could have gone back sooner. Gave myself enough time to go through the beginning stages of liquids, full liquids and puree foods. Also to get on a schedule of eating, drinking and getting all my vitamins in. I have a job where I am in the community most of the time so wanted to get a good start before I went back to work. Divorced so can't really tell you first hand about that. I will say that when one person makes changes in the relationship the dynamic changes and either the partner is supportive or resists the change. If the latter, it can be worked through. My daughter was most supportive and still is. She called me about a year after my surgery and said based on my example she had decided to have the surgery. She had diabetes and while her weight was about 50 pounds less than mine she was on 3 medications at 36. She has done very well. Lost about 65 pounds and more importantly is off all her medications. My Dad and sister had hesitations, mostly fear driven. I got you are getting too skinny and look sickly comments along the way, but now they have stopped. Everyone has a different story, but I think there is no better gift you can give yourself and your family than taking care of you. I love being able to do more things with my grandchildren. We had so much fun on Halloween. We did a lot of walking, which I could not have done previous to surgery. Didn't miss the candy at all. Wishing you all the best on your upcoming surgery.
 
I am going through the same thing I have six and need 4 more. I am scheduled for surgery Dec 2. Hope all goes well for you. I am married with a 27 year old daughter, a nephew who is 15 that we are raising, and a beautiful 5 year old grand daughter that i want to be here for. My family is excited for me as i am for myself. And you are correct skinny people don't get it.
 
Hi Landrethmom,

I had the sleeve surgery 6 months ago and I am so glad that I had it done! I had the sleeve and I've lost 64 pounds since the surgery and a total of 95 altogether. I too, have a grandchild that I wanted to just have a lap for her to sit on, plus keep up with her. I can now say that I do have a lap and I can keep up with her. She is so much fun! I don't have trouble walking and getting out of breath like I used to and I can bend over in my chair and pick something up off the floor with no problem. It is the little things that I'm really enjoying.

I got pretty sick of the liquid diet and the malt-o-meal. I was thrilled that I could only eat a little then I was full. When I started on soft foods, I started to get some hunger that concerned me. I read that someone else had that and they started taking their Protonix again all the time and the hunger was actually from the acid, so I tried that and it seemed to help. I have had some cravings and I do eat chips once in a while, but it slows my weight loss and at least I can't eat too many at a time. It seems easier to get back on track since the surgery.

My surgery went well. I was in the hospital for 2 nights. I had trouble with the jello and protein drinks in the hospital. Everything was so sweet that it nauseated me. I mostly drank water. I only had one incision that hurt for a couple of weeks and I took the pain medicine and it eased the pain. I have a desk job, so I was able to go back to work after a week and a half since I don't do anything strenuous. I did 1/2 days the 2nd week, then I was back to my regular schedule.

I've never worried about what anyone thought about my decision to have weight loss surgery and I've had very positive experiences. If there is someone that I don't want to let know, then I just wouldn't tell them. It is your decision. This is the only way I could lose the weight, so I'm fine with it. If someone doesn't like it, I don't really care what they think. All of my family has been very supportive and are excited about my weight loss. I hope your's will be to.

My husband has been very supportive and he is excited that he can get his arms all the way around me to hug me. I think it shouldn't change your relationship if it was good already. I do know someone who's husband started getting jeolous because he thought men his wife worked with might be paying too much attention to her. It escalated to the point that she left him. He must have had trust issues before that came out, because my husband doesn't worry about that.

Best Wishes. I hope your surgery goes well!
 
Thanks. All this positive feedback is really making me more excited to get this weight off. :) Like Okieatheart, I want a lap to hold the grandbabies LOL I want to take them to park and we able to play, I travel, so I want to not have to ask for the extra seatbelt on the plane, HOW EMBARRSSING :(
Rhonda
 
That is good news about your daughter. Part of me hopes my Hubby will decide to do the surgery. He doesn't have the medical issues I have, but he's still very overweight.
And not to get to personal, but I hope getting the weight off, helps me enjoy my personal time with him :eek: ;)
Rhonda
 
TillieS said:
I am going through the same thing I have six and need 4 more. I am scheduled for surgery Dec 2. Hope all goes well for you. I am married with a 27 year old daughter, a nephew who is 15 that we are raising, and a beautiful 5 year old grand daughter that i want to be here for. My family is excited for me as i am for myself. And you are correct skinny people don't get it.
Click to expand...

This has been the best place for me to get my 10 people... Good Luck. Everyone here has been very helpful.
 
Hi I am new to the site as well. Very glad to hear from so many their different experiences but al seem to have gone well. I am just starting the pre op hoops I am hoping to have the sleeve surgery soon. I live in a rural area so this will be my support group and common ground group. So thank you for your comments and info! I am not telling everyone at work either just figured if they were that involved in my life they would be one of the ones I shared with. my family is supportive and I hope they are later as we learn to adjust my eatting habits together. I think it's going to be great! nervous and excited
 
Everyone at work is very supportive but I am not advertising it. I know the feeling of living in a rural area (somewhat) and I have to drive about 60 miles to get to my surgeons office. So I try to get as much done when I am there as possible. Good luck on your hoop jumping. Sometimes it really feels like you are jumping hoops lol. What helped me is I made a detailed to-do list and every time I was did something I highlighted it.
 
Wow I just told one of my friends/sister (we are close) that I was having the surgery done and she didn't react the way I thought she would. One she was pissed because I didn't tell her right away. Two she made it seem like I needed her permission. The only person besides my immediate family (husband, daughter, nephew) was my sister who had the gastric sleeve done in 2006 and has lost and kept off 130-140 lbs. I don't know how to feel about this I am a little confused by this. I love her but, I am doing this for me.
 
TillieS said:
Wow I just told one of my friends/sister (we are close) that I was having the surgery done and she didn't react the way I thought she would. One she was pissed because I didn't tell her right away. Two she made it seem like I needed her permission. The only person besides my immediate family (husband, daughter, nephew) was my sister who had the gastric sleeve done in 2006 and has lost and kept off 130-140 lbs. I don't know how to feel about this I am a little confused by this. I love her but, I am doing this for me.
Click to expand...

Hi Tillie,
People sometimes have a knee-jerk reaction to news as serious as this. If she sounded, or it felt to you like she was being a little hostile, sometimes its because the shock is a little overwhelming and the concern really is rooted in love. I've had similar reactions in my experience and given a little time people come around. If they don't, well, YES you are doing this for YOU. for YOUR health and well being and anyone that doesn't understand can hit the road. Don't let it shake you. Keep moving forward and you will do fabulous!
 
Landrethmom said:
That is good news about your daughter. Part of me hopes my Hubby will decide to do the surgery. He doesn't have the medical issues I have, but he's still very overweight.
And not to get to personal, but I hope getting the weight off, helps me enjoy my personal time with him :eek: ;)
Rhonda
Click to expand...

Rhonda...TRUST ME...personal time will be QUITE the different experience!!! And ALL for the better! ;)
 
Landrethmom said:
Thanks. All this positive feedback is really making me more excited to get this weight off. :) Like Okieatheart, I want a lap to hold the grandbabies LOL I want to take them to park and we able to play, I travel, so I want to not have to ask for the extra seatbelt on the plane, HOW EMBARRSSING :(
Rhonda
Click to expand...
I remember being on a flight and having to ask for the extender. I also happened to be sitting in an exit row. (I still tear up as I recall this incident)...the flight attendant chastised me in front of what seemed like the ENTIRE cabin about how I couldn't have an extender and expect to perform the "duties of the exit row". I was humiliated and wanted to slink off the plane. But I held my head up as she was looking for another seat for me and I stated "who wants to sit next to the fat girl??" A couple stood up and the husband said "here, please sit next to my wife...I'll take your seat". They were a godsend. It turns out they both had bypass surgery and I was able to pick her brain the entire flight. I still speak with both of them. Whether you believe in God, or some other higher entity, People are put in your path for a reason. I just hope and pray I can be that for someone...
 
TillieS said:
Wow I just told one of my friends/sister (we are close) that I was having the surgery done and she didn't react the way I thought she would. One she was pissed because I didn't tell her right away. Two she made it seem like I needed her permission. The only person besides my immediate family (husband, daughter, nephew) was my sister who had the gastric sleeve done in 2006 and has lost and kept off 130-140 lbs. I don't know how to feel about this I am a little confused by this. I love her but, I am doing this for me.
Click to expand...
I think it's the people we are closest to that we want a positive reaction from the most, so we are disappointed when they don't seem 100% supportive. The first person I told was my daughter-in-law (who has had a successful lap band for 3 years). She tried to talk me out of it! I was floored. Of anyone, I thought she's understand.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top