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Things I wish I'd known, part 1

Qaterra

Member
These thoughts on "things I wish I'd known" were compiled by LisaM on thinnertimesforum.com. Originally compiled in 2007, the "thoughts" were updated in 2010.

They all come from people who have "been there, done that."

Though the post is lengthy, I encourage you to read through to the end. There is much to discover here; comfort and company, hope and inspiration.

Here are LisaM's notes on her efforts:

"I gathered these off a thread that we had on here around about four years ago, took off everyone's names, added where the person was post-op, and put them in order by how far post-op the person was, so you can see how things change as we move further away from the surgery... If you have anything to add that you don't see here that you wish you'd known, please add to the bottom of the thread. If you recognize yourself in these words, has anything changed?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Things I wish I’d known:

Post-op less than one month:

Gas pain gas pain gas pain!!! (one day post-op)

• how hard it would be to eat and get the protein in.

• how hard it is to drink constantly.

• what types of pain I really would go through.

• what types of pain were "normal".

• what type of protein I would be able to handle in the liquid stage (at this point, not much). (one week post-op)

As stupid as it sounds, I wish I had known that getting the staples out was going to be more painful than anything I had been dealing with in about a week. And that the catheter was going to be such a pain to get out. Not painful; difficult... It took more time and energy to find somewhere/someone to take it out than I had energy-level wise. How annoying... (two weeks post-op)

I thought I would have no appetite, but I do once I get through the morning sickness stage of my day. I didn't believe anyone when they said they couldn't tolerate water - I am one of those people. (three weeks post-op)

Post-op one month:

I wish that I knew how truly hard it is to eat!! I am not hungry and it is very hard to get in all the protein that my body needs. Not only is it hard to get all the protein in, when I do eat I feel guilty. Hello!!! I know I shouldn't feel guilty, I am barely getting in 500 calories a day...but somewhere in my brain when I am eating (no matter what it is) I feel like I am being "bad".

I was shocked at the post operative pain I personally went through - for about a week. It was hell on earth & I cried & swore every day about what I had done to myself. Maybe I am a wimp & have a low pain threshold but even so, there should be stronger analgesia on offer to those of us that are wimps.

I also wish I'd been warned how emotional I'd be too & that sticking to fluids only is psychologically very difficult; if you used to be a "foodie". I wish I'd known how tired & weak I would be, just having a shower would exhaust me in the early days & I'd have to have a rest! At nearly a month out I'm starting to feel better about why I had the surgery, the weight is melting away & I feel better physically every day. Also at last the pain is practically gone. I'm taking note of all the other advice for later in my journey & I am looking forward to more energy in a few months & a sense of elation when I get to my 100lb down mark. I'm also buying clothes on ebay as I've dropped two sizes already.

As a guy, I really wish I had known about the catheter beforehand... as I was coming out of the anesthesia, I reached down to scratch myself and had a giant wtf moment because I wasn't expecting it.

I wish I had know that six weeks post op and 35 lbs lost, and no one has noticed anything except that my face looks thinner and my boobs are smaller!!

Post-op two months:

I wish I understood what a challenge taking pills would be...at least at the beginning, and how all-consuming the transition is until it becomes 'just life.'

I wish I’d known how getting hit on for the first time in my adult life would make me more insecure about my new (emerging) body.. not less.

Post-op three months:

I wish I’d known that:

• Its hard to get in all the food you are supposed to every day.

• Some days are easier than others.

• How emotional you are when you get home.

• Why your pouch is happy one day and not the next.

• Plateaus.......need I say more!

• That my co-workers are MORE supportive than I thought.

• That I would show my scar off to people all the time - I am proud of it.

• How the smell of some food turns you right off.

• That there are many different rules from doctors.....and it’s ok, they are all correct.

... How much i would really miss food early out. It was crushing to not be able to run to the fridge and drown my sorrows and pain in a pint of Ben n Jerrys.

... How much i actually thought about food! I didn’t understand why i was so obese, i honestly thought i ate pretty well most of the time.

... What a pain in the butt it is to sip sip sip sip sip sip liquids ALLLL day.

... How weird it is to "eat" dinner with your family without shoveling it in like everyone else.

... Having people that don’t know you have had the surgery assume you’re becoming deathly ill or suddenly anorexic.

... How completely amazing it feels to be at the same weight I was when i got married 8 years ago and know that I could be at a high school weight by Christmas!!

... How weird it would be to look in the mirror and finally see the person i thought i was all this time emerging from the layers.
i wish i knew how many times i'd stall! (like every 3rd week) and that every BODY is different, that at 3 months i'd only lost 40 pounds.........

Post-op four months:

I wish I had known how obsessed I would become with my weight and my appearance. Pre-surgery I was aware of how fat I was I just didn't dwell on it. As long as I was clean and semi-presentable I was fine. Now I find myself super conscious of everything I wear, every pound I lose and obsessing on how I can lose more weight in the fastest amount of time. Now I have to have pedicures, manicures, and my hair done. I feel uncomfortable without make up. I thought losing weight would make me more comfortable with my appearance and instead it has made me more self-conscious. Who knew!

I wish I understood how EVERY aspect of my life would change dramatically. I wish I understood how tremendously happy I would be. I wish I understood how for me... the benefits far outweighed the risks. I wish I understood how many beautiful people I'd meet, and how much they would add to my life. I wish I understood how committed I would be, how strong I would be, and how wonderful I'd feel. I wish I understood that I needed to do this a long time ago.
 
Great List. Read all three installments. I would add to this list:

I wish I'd known that you will gain weight during the hospital stay, because of the fluids pumped into you.

I gained almost 10 pounds and it really threw me for a loop. All good now that I know it's normal.
 
I wish I'd known that you will gain weight during the hospital stay, because of the fluids pumped into you.

Thanks for the addition. That's one I didn't know.

And, btw, please accept a slightly belated but sincere Welcome!
 
I'm almost 6 weeks post op, and much of the list really resonates right now! I'm still struggling on many levels, but the weight is coming off and I'm (finally!) starting to feel better. Also, I'm feeling a bit like a cat who has lost its whiskers...cats judge spaces they can fit through with their whiskers. I'm constantly misjudging spaces where I can fit now...in my mind, I'm still the larger version of myself and worry I can't fit! Surprise, surprise, though...and, this time, its a good surprise!
 
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