Feeling defeated before I begin...

[3boysmom]

I'm concerned. I'm in month two of the 6 month program and I've done this before..(completed a six month program and then my insurance dropped coverage). I now have a 1 year old though. I have two older children, 9 and 12. I have my husband, but he is the only one who works in the household and I have no family to help me. I feel like I'm doomed to not be able to have the surgery again because of post-op lifting restrictions and just daily life activities that need to be done. What do I do?

 

[Kathi_S]

Wow, I don't know how to answer your question, because my problems are so completely different. I am sure someone here has dealt with something similar and will have some encouraging words to offer. Hang in there. I hope the group offers the support you need. They always come through for me.

 

[missyinacage]

My circumstances surrounding the time of surgery were not the same as yours. However, I will ask you .. if not now, WHEN? The fact is, life is always going to be happening and it's messy. I doubt anyone has managed the ideal conditions for having surgery. You are always going to have day to day responsibilities. Don't let that hold you back. All of those day to day responsibilities are easier when you are healthier. You have several months left to get a plan in place, be that freezing meals or looking into finding a local teen willing to help out for some extra cash. Good luck.

 

[3boysmom]

My circumstances surrounding the time of surgery were not the same as yours. However, I will ask you .. if not now, WHEN? The fact is, life is always going to be happening and it's messy. I doubt anyone has managed the ideal conditions for having surgery. You are always going to have day to day responsibilities. Don't let that hold you back. All of those day to day responsibilities are easier when you are healthier. You have several months left to get a plan in place, be that freezing meals or looking into finding a local teen willing to help out for some extra cash. Good luck.

That's a good idea (the teen). You are so right, nothing is ever ideal.

 

[3boysmom]

Thank you for the advice and encouragement. I do have to put me first.

Proceed with confidence and positivity. You didn't get 3 kids without being a strong person.

The first thing I'd do is call a family meeting and use proactive listening. This is YOUR time and they need to know that for a few weeks, you're going to be "on vacation."

Put necessities on counters and tables so you can get to them without bending, reaching or lifting. Sort out your meds and supplements so you don't have to have that added concern. In the ramp-up to surgery, make sure they know IT'S YOUR TURN, and they need to put you first.

It's really such a short time. I had an open procedure with a 7" vertical incision. I was at an outdoor gathering two days after I got home. I couldn't eat or play but I had a lot of conversation with friends, then went back to bed.

Prep meals and freeze them. Keep takeout menus and grocery delivery services on hand in case you need more help.

You can order what you need online and get it dropped at your door.

So relax and make sure you put your recovery first. Believe me, it's over way too soon!

 

[3momchaos]

I have a 12 year old and 10 year old twins, and before my surgery we created a family chore chart. I’m a stay at home mom too. I showed them how to use the washer and dryer. I understand our circumstances are different with you having an infant, but don’t feel too defeated. My kids were amazing at understanding what I was having done, I showed them the computer animated videos of the surgery, and why. I let them know my limits, and when I’d be able to do more. I didn’t want outside help after the surgery because covid was running rampant. It can be done if your family pulls together.

 

[3boysmom]

Thank you! I appreciate the advice so much.