I'm on my health journey alone, except for the wonderful medical people (doctors, nurses, dieticians, etc...) who are helping me. I need a support group, so I don't feel so alone and so I can talk to others who are supportive, encouraging, and authentic with me. My family members just see me as fat, lazy, and not trying hard enough to be healthier. They just bring me down. I work full-time, I take good care of my family, and I try to be my best me for myself and others every day. I have been overweight since the birth of my last child in 1993. I've been obese since about 2000. From about 2013 to 2020, I weighed 308 pounds. During the pandemic when everything was closed down, my dog, Scruffy, and I walked every day to get outdoors and have fresh air. I only had groceries delivered, so I only bought healthy foods. I developed terrible anxiety at the onset of the pandemic. I still struggle with it, but I have fewer panic attacks now and I go out in public more now. Those two changes...walking with Scruffy and eating only healthy foods....helped me to lose 121 pounds. But, Scruffy died from cancer, the world opened back up and I was expected to get out of the house more often to be around others, I eventually let my daughter and her family move in with me because they couldn't afford rent anymore, I started eating foods that weren't so good for me, and I went back up to 289 pounds by last summer (2025). Now, I have severe osteoarthritis in both knees. I have pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, high triglycerides, sleep apnea, asthma, my anxiety, and depression. Moreover, I've had PTSD, nightmares, and insomnia for most of my life, from childhood trauma and abuse. I live with my three 13-year-old indoor-only cats, Dinky, Wishy, and Cuddles, in the mother-in-law suite of my house. Dinky was just diagnosed with small cell lymphoma a month ago. With all of this, I am trying to make sure that I'm getting healthier for myself, my cats, and my family. I have five young grandchildren, with the youngest due to be born in early July. I want to be here, able-bodied and not exhausted, to play with and care for my pets and grandbabies. I have a great medical team...my knees doctor, my dietician, my medical weight loss doctor, my bariatric doctor, my primary doctor, and my sleep apnea doctor. I started Metformin and Zepbound in February 2026. I started my own version of water aerobics in September 2025. I'm down to 249 pounds. The Zepbound really does turn down/off the food noise that I didn't even know existed until I took that first dose. Because my knees hurt 24/7 and the only thing that will help them is knee-replacement surgery, I'm going to get the sleeve bariatric surgery, hopefully in early August. I have to wait, so I can help with the new baby and my 3-year-old granddaughter in July. Early August is ideal, I hope, because I'm a school teacher. I think the doctor will have me stop Zepbound, but I don't know when and if that will be permanent or for just awhile. It's hard to believe, still, that I can actually lose all of the weight I need to and permanently keep it off, so I'll be healthier. I hope that I'm on the right path for me. I'm doing me best to block out the judgemental people in my life and only listen to myself, my medical team, and now you all. I hope that it's okay that I shared so very much today. It feels good to share it, believing this is a safe space for me. Thank you.
