Keeping The Weight Off aka The Long Term Struggle

[missyinacage]

I am struggling with eating the wrong things and not getting enough exercise. I'm bored and cold, so I've been baking. I mean sure, I make lots of healthy swaps but my morning glory muffins are super yum! nd lets be honest a lower calorie muffin still isn't low cal lol

I find that higher carb foods are less filling overall but they also leave me hungry again faster. So this week, I have to get back on the meal prep and plan band wagon. I don't make the best choices in the moment.

 

[Linda57]

I totally understand what you mean. I've bit my tongue out of fear of scaring a newbie. But a while back I did web searches relating to success or regain and there were so many scary stories.

At first I was judgmental about regainers, but then it happened to me. It was just a few pounds and I went right back to the first phase of post-op eating and easily went back to normal.

The self-talk that always works for me is reminding myself what I went through, in addition to how I wanted to kill myself all the time when I was at my highest weight.

Its either going to work or it's not. The real key is you and what you want. And following the post-op food phases puts everything back in place. I had a doctor check me to see if still had a small pouch, and I do. So if I need to cut back, I can barely take two bites without feeling stuffed.

THE STOMACH CANNOT STRETCH from overeating. Do a web search, as I have. So you forever have the potential to stay at your post-op weight. This is so important. If you believe you can stretch your stomach, you are showing a lack of faith in the surgery. Your pouch is your tool. Let it work for you.

The hard part is self-talk. Practice affirmations every day. I'm almost 15 years out now, and even with the COVID 20 I gained, I knew it was temporary. I've almost taken it all off now.

Since I'm now facing the loss of looks because I'm over 70, controlling my weight and health is more important than anything. Thank God for my pouch!

I love this it’s so helpful to hear. I’m approaching my 1 year anniversary in about a week so this is great information to have.

 

[Tokash]

I have been in the same situation over the last year to 18 months. I have been doing a lot of research, and one of the things that I found is a line of thought that some intense exercise can actually increase your cortisol levels, essentially negating the workout as well as increasing hunger - all of which then just turns into a cycle. This seems to be an issue once someone hits perimenopause and beyond, but depending on your hormone levels could impact someone of any age. The suggestion is to do more of the yoga, pilates, moderate weights to gain muscle, and moderate cardio (walking, slower bike ride, etc.). So, first I got my hormones back in line (hysterectomy messed me up bad)... now I am going to focus on pilates and adding more walking now that weather is starting to turn.

I would like to get my hormones check but the doc laughs it off. I swear I'm super early on menopause(I'll be 39 this year). I have hot flashes that make me wanna puke, get ight headed, sweat beads up on my face ect. Doc says they are not "true" hot flashes. If i could punch her I would. It's beyond a hot flash for me given I am always cold. My cycles have been crazy for a while (yes I'm on birth control- arm implant) last cycle was 3 weeks, free for a week and here we are again.....I will push on this harder once I get the medical needs of my kids taken care of and hopefully finally getting a ADHD dx for myself.....that is all the spoons I have currently.

I dont do much other then go up and down stairs between clients in the winter. My joints ache most of the time to the point of wanting to cry...let alone the thought of working out. In the summer they still hurt but I do a lot more walking and outdoor stuff in general.

I know part of it is stress- at the beginning of the year I opened my own business and when leaving my old job realized just how much i had been functioning in trauma brain since last summer...Hopefully as the "dust settles" from that experience things will slowly get better.

 

[Tokash]

Being litghtheaded is not normal. I'd see as many doctors as possible, including an endocrinologist for sure, and consider seeing a neurologist. There could be an inner ear problem or it could be even worse. But you should never feel lightheaded.

It has been this way since middle school. It's not constant but often. Some is clearly tied to blood pressure, some I think is tied to stress response in my body. I have a very highly sensitive system that does not handle things well. I work a at times high stress job paired with chronic migraines- my body is easily overwhelm and i can take very limited medications. I have mentioned it to the bariatric doc, my primary, my previous OB doc/nurse...all the same response.

 

[eladams2015]

I would like to get my hormones check but the doc laughs it off. I swear I'm super early on menopause(I'll be 39 this year). I have hot flashes that make me wanna puke, get ight headed, sweat beads up on my face ect. Doc says they are not "true" hot flashes. If i could punch her I would. It's beyond a hot flash for me given I am always cold. My cycles have been crazy for a while (yes I'm on birth control- arm implant) last cycle was 3 weeks, free for a week and here we are again.....I will push on this harder once I get the medical needs of my kids taken care of and hopefully finally getting a ADHD dx for myself.....that is all the spoons I have currently.

I dont do much other then go up and down stairs between clients in the winter. My joints ache most of the time to the point of wanting to cry...let alone the thought of working out. In the summer they still hurt but I do a lot more walking and outdoor stuff in general.

I know part of it is stress- at the beginning of the year I opened my own business and when leaving my old job realized just how much i had been functioning in trauma brain since last summer...Hopefully as the "dust settles" from that experience things will slowly get better.

Definitely get a doctor that will listen - sounds like classic perimenopause to me!! Functional docs are great for following hormones, but rarely covered by insurance. Gynecologists that do hormone pellets are great resource for those tests as well. You can usually find them by searching for providers through some of the pellet manufacturers. Biote or SotoPelle are great sites to locate docs in your area. You don't necessarily have to get pellets, but the fact that they do pellets is an indicator that they are more receptive to listening and getting those tests you need.

 

[missyinacage]

Perimenopause can last anywhere up to 10+ years, according to my GYN. It is OBSCENE how women are brushed off with pat answers or complete disregard when they have legitimate health concerns. What could be the possible harm in ordering a hormone work up? Your doctor doesn't have to pay for it.

I am currently looking for a new GP, myself. I changed my GP to my bariatric program Dr. last year. I wanted someone knowledgeable in bariatric surgery. But she ONLY discusses weight, as in lets talk about your 2lb gain, instead of your shooting neck pain. The last straw for me was she doesn't "believe" I need the meds I take for my IBS, which I have been taking for 15+years, are necessary. And so she sent a new, lower dose to my pharmacy. I get this from my gastroenterologist, she shouldn't be doing anything with it. And I specifically said no to "lets just TRY a lower dose". Quality doctos are getting harder and harder to find.

 

[Vivian Rose]

I see so many posts where people come in, struggling a year, 2, 5 and more, with maintaining the success they've had. And they immediately take off again. I feel this may be because the majority of our posts are pre op or first 6 months post op. I LOVE that we help the newbies succeed. But I'd like a spot for us "oldies" (sorry, guys!) to have a space to share our struggles without worrying about scaring off the beginners or being embarrassed that we're actually struggling or haven't been as successful as we had hoped.

I maintain my 5lb range and feel I have been overall successful. Still, I worry that I won't be able to long term. I struggle with late night snacks, less than ideal food choices and a love of iced coffee over water. I work waaay harder than I thought I would have to at maintenance and know many others struggle with it or even gaining. And so often our response is .. Do Better. Which fair, but also not kind, or supportive. So, if you're struggling long term, please share. It makes it easier to know I'm not the only one trying to force myself to suck down 64 oz of water instead of iced coffee and only succeeding about 80% of the time. And maybe those who show up with a weight gain 5 years out would feel comfortable enough to stay.

Hello, I just found this site and am excited to read your post!!
I had gastric bypass in let say 2004 or 05, starting at 389lbs. and now, 175. (goal 135-145). I am a 59 year old woman. I am always exhausted! I never thought or connected to the possibility that it may be related to my surgery until now. I have gained back about some of the weight and want to feel better. I have never had any food limitations(unfortunately) and have been able to eat pretty much everything. I've looked for a dietitian specializing in Bariatric issues with no success.

Am I in the right place?
Vivian

 

[missyinacage]

Hello and welcome to the group! I would suggest starting by asking the bariatric program you used for a GP and nutritionist recommendation. If you've moved or they are no longer in service, call your insurance provider. Most insurance companies have medical help, tele-health, or professionally ran programs for various issues. They are a good starting point. Also, if you are not still taking the recommended vitamin supplements, please start.

 

[Tokash]

Perimenopause can last anywhere up to 10+ years, according to my GYN. It is OBSCENE how women are brushed off with pat answers or complete disregard when they have legitimate health concerns. What could be the possible harm in ordering a hormone work up? Your doctor doesn't have to pay for it.

I am currently looking for a new GP, myself. I changed my GP to my bariatric program Dr. last year. I wanted someone knowledgeable in bariatric surgery. But she ONLY discusses weight, as in lets talk about your 2lb gain, instead of your shooting neck pain. The last straw for me was she doesn't "believe" I need the meds I take for my IBS, which I have been taking for 15+years, are necessary. And so she sent a new, lower dose to my pharmacy. I get this from my gastroenterologist, she shouldn't be doing anything with it. And I specifically said no to "lets just TRY a lower dose". Quality doctos are getting harder and harder to find.

Went into a OBGYN today because I'm over it. Had my birth control removed. My body has now decided the two birth controls that I am allowed to use it does not like. This sent me on a thought spiral around why it's incredibly important that plan b and abortion are options. Not that I plan to ever need either but of anything ever happened to me they would be my only option since I can not take birth control...anyway... this OBGYN offered to test hormones but we decided to let my body reset post birth control removal and see after that. She discussed ablation and hysterectomy as options as well(no thanks unless it's life or death). Given if my hormones are off the option would be to use synthetics, some of which I also cannot do because of other medical conditions. So here's hoping things will just regulate.

Monday I am also going for bloodwork to do the ALCAT test. I started working with a reiki and shamanic practitioner who suggest eliminating some foods from my diet and see if it helps...fortunately/unfortunately she wasn't wrong. Life without cheese sucks. But I'm finally adjusted to oat milk.

 

[MelbaM]

I have always been light headed. I'm pretty sure it's blood pressure related. Typically it's low 100/62. On the lowest day it's been 98/62. I have told all my docs and they brush it off. I eat the same breakfast and lunch daily. Dinner varies. Stress is huge and I know that but not much I can do to reduce it more than I am. I have a incredibly highly sensitive system and I'm always taking/feeling something. Since the doc appointment I have gone up 2 pounds and hovering close to 180 only change is increased water and doing a protein shake for lunch(never really ate lunch before). Generally, I give up. I will try walking more when it gets warmer but given it's mn. I'm always freezing and my joints hurt like crazy.

Tokash, I'm here in MN too. This weather has been an absolute, not only mood dampener, but huge problem trying to do much outside like walking and such. I feel for you. Hope you're doing better.

 

[Tokash]

Tokash, I'm here in MN too. This weather has been an absolute, not only mood dampener, but huge problem trying to do much outside like walking and such. I feel for you. Hope you're doing better.

Yes slowly getting nicer but my walking buddy is on kennel rest awaiting evaluation in May for positive CCL surgery. Between this amd the lovely spring storm I'm waiting for the 3rd shoe to drop.

 

[missyinacage]

I knew when I started this that the majority of people have some regain. Which was fine. Actually it IS fine. I still fit into the same size/haven't had to buy new clothes. But I continue to eat slightly too much and beat myself up for every pound I have gained. I'm up to 3-5 days at the gym and haven't changed my eating habits. I really do believe it might be as simple as menopause.

Heavier women create more estrogen anyway. Lose a 100lbs and then go thru menopause, the hormonal changes are shocking!! But of course my gyno refuses HRT.

Either way, its starting to seem like I need to get myself mentally fit. What a pain in the ass this is lol

 

[Tokash]

I'm 38, my bariatric doc has been telling me for 3 years, "your getting close to 40." I say a lot of not nice things in my mind. I remember when I was going through the process of getting pregnant with my youngest at 32 how many times I heard "your advanced/geriatric maternal age."

I have gained about 10 back. I think I have a ton of food sensitivities that are causing issues..literally can intake much of anything with feeling constantly bloated. I know I am fine with gluten as that was tested a year ago.

Hormone replacement isn't the greatest on a body..especially if you dig into what some of the hormones are made of. Regardless. I cant have any replacement hormones period due to my blood pressure and migraines. I dread how much menopause will impact me because given whatever else is at play its super easy for me to bounce up 10 pounds in a day.

 

[missyinacage]

I swore I would age gracefully. Not in looks but in attitude and acceptance. Quite honestly I don't look my age. But I freaking FEEL it. And the changes in my body are really depressing. I'll live with the 5-10lbs. But they will give any man ANY MAN testosterone if it drops to the edge of normal. But a huge drop in estrogen? You'll live. "Women have been dealing with it for years." Never mind all the ways it affects your life and health. And they don't tell you NEARLY enough about what may happen to you. Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I say bring on the HRT .. unless the side effects are certain death, I don't think I care.

 

[Christy0829]

Thanks for your responses. I truly feel so grateful to have this group and while my success is my own, I am not sure I could have been this successful without all of you. I personally know people who have gained the weight back and those who didn't lose as much as they want and struggle daily to just maintain a weight that they don't even want to be at. And we see so many come through here, embarrassed and ashamed, I'd like to see them stick around. I think the 2 of you hit the nails on the head with a few really good points.

Self-Talk! It can be the worst thing that ever happens to you. Repeating all those things the world tells you when you're overweight; you're weak, lazy, disgusting etc is a hard habit to break. And it's so easy to find new reasons to hate yourself or your body. (Saggy knees for example lol) I saw a comedian once say "How am I fucking up your SELF esteem?!? It has the word SELF in it!" And while we all know the answer to that, I try to talk myself up to myself. If I wouldn't say it to my kid, I try not to say it to me. That should be the rule; If you would not say it to you loved one; do not say it to yourself!

And the freaking word DIET should be banned; they've ruined it. We were all taught that fat is bad. Carbs are bad. Cholesterol? Bad. Remember when they told us to stop eating eggs? They add all these chemicals and sodium to our food and then tell us to worry about eggs?! I do not deny myself any food, not a single one. But once I started eating healthier (So jealous of your gardening skills El!!) I just don't like all those processed, sugar-y, salty foods so much anymore.

The relationships we have with ourselves and with food are lifelong. Like death and taxes, you cannot escape them. So it's no wonder that they take so much work.

I’m a newbie here, and I have to say that I love the honesty. I came into this journey with my eyes wide open, but of course nothing can prepare you like life experience. It’s just as important to have space to be open and vulnerable for a veteran as it is a newbie and the more we know about the experiences of those who have gone thru this before us, the stronger and wiser we are going thru it. I look forward to being a veteran myself one day and (I know that’s a ways away) but having resources and honesty from folks like you all is so very helpful. In my own opinion, I think it’s healthy to have a little fear about the huge change this surgery is, and people should know that it’s filled with ups and downs (literally). It really is not a magic thing. It’s a TOOL and by remaining faithful to our bodies and what feels right for the individual success can really be achieved! Again, thank you for being honest and real.

 

[Christy0829]

I have always been light headed. I'm pretty sure it's blood pressure related. Typically it's low 100/62. On the lowest day it's been 98/62. I have told all my docs and they brush it off. I eat the same breakfast and lunch daily. Dinner varies. Stress is huge and I know that but not much I can do to reduce it more than I am. I have a incredibly highly sensitive system and I'm always taking/feeling something. Since the doc appointment I have gone up 2 pounds and hovering close to 180 only change is increased water and doing a protein shake for lunch(never really ate lunch before). Generally, I give up. I will try walking more when it gets warmer but given it's mn. I'm always freezing and my joints hurt like crazy.

I know this is a late response, and I’m not sure where in mn you are, but when I started my new health insurance a couple years ago, I saw 3 gp’s before finding one I felt really listened and wasn’t afraid to say, “let me look into that”, and actually got back to me! She’s in inver Grove heights and she’s young-ish but I really really appreciate her.

 

[Tokash]

I know this is a late response, and I’m not sure where in mn you are, but when I started my new health insurance a couple years ago, I saw 3 gp’s before finding one I felt really listened and wasn’t afraid to say, “let me look into that”, and actually got back to me! She’s in inver Grove heights and she’s young-ish but I really really appreciate her.

I would love to know as i am in the hunt for a new provider and that isn't that far from me.

 

[Tokash]

I got my food sensitivity results back...

Between that and learning I'm getting a pay cut it makes me wanna cry. Everything I eat is on the "no go" or "once every 4 days" list. I'm supposed to shift my eating and paying out of pocket for some services on a now reduced income. Grr

Aside from that...I have no clue what to eat because due to sensory issues my food choices are already very limited

 

[MelbaM]

Yes slowly getting nicer but my walking buddy is on kennel rest awaiting evaluation in May for positive CCL surgery. Between this amd the lovely spring storm I'm waiting for the 3rd shoe to drop.

I swore I would age gracefully. Not in looks but in attitude and acceptance. Quite honestly I don't look my age. But I freaking FEEL it. And the changes in my body are really depressing. I'll live with the 5-10lbs. But they will give any man ANY MAN testosterone if it drops to the edge of normal. But a huge drop in estrogen? You'll live. "Women have been dealing with it for years." Never mind all the ways it affects your life and health. And they don't tell you NEARLY enough about what may happen to you. Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I say bring on the HRT .. unless the side effects are certain death, I don't think I care.

I 1000% agree! YES to what you said- Difficulty sleeping? Low (to non existent) sex drive?!? Hot flashes!? Vaginal atrophy?!?! Night sweats?!? Bone loss?!!!??! I feel I'm past the night sweats, but will still have hot flashes during the day- ALWAYS at work! My OBGYN hasn't really talked about HRT, maybe because my symptoms haven't been totally unmanageable, YET! She did talk about how my obesity affects my estrogen levels. I need to revisit that topic to totally understand it. I haven't had a period in about 3 years which I am SOOOO grateful for as they were horrific. Maybe my joy in that has negated some of the feelings I have about my menopause symptoms!

 

[Tokash]

After doing a follow up with my functional med doc I am currently doing gluten free and 98% dairy free. She request i cut back or eliminate many other foods but doing it all at once was overwhelming and certian trigger for feeling miserable.

My sensitivity test said I am moderately sensitive to gliatin. I am severely sensitive to amaranth. There must be some truth the the gliatin sensitivity. After just 3 days I dropped 5 pounds. I still feel very bloated but don't look as bloated.

Next up, eliminating eggs. What I learned....plant cheese isn't bad but it for sure isn't cheese.