New and Desperate!

[ChiMoon]

Hello All,

I am happy I found this community. I had my sleeve surgery on 10/27, and it has been a difficult transition. Before the surgery, I took all the required steps to qualify for it. Spoke to countless people who have done it, including two very close friends and family members. Attended support groups more than the required amount, watched endless YouTube videos from those who have it done, and yet... nothing can prepare you for the reality of it. Depression, Regret, and Anxiety are just a few words to describe how I am feeling now. It's interesting how everyone says they're happy with the surgery. And that they wish they had done it sooner..That is not my experience. I feel like I lost a part of me that I loved. I don't know if it will get better, I hope it does, but right now, I feel hopeless..I feel like all I can do is drink water, drink protein shakes, and butternut squash puree..I try to go to bed early every night so that time moves faster.

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!!

 

[dianeseattle]

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!!

There is definitely a difference. IMO, reflux is something everyone has now and then, because it's just a more severe form of heartburn. But dumping is really related to weight loss surgery and other digestive procedures and IT IS A KILLER! I remember the first time dumping attacked me. I was crossing the street in a crosswalk and it literally doubled me over. I thought I was going to lose the contents of my bowels right there on the street. There was nothing I could do to make it better, so I ended up sitting on the curb and waiting for it to pass.

I would offer this advice to anyone with a flexible schedule: stay home as much as possible for the first two weeks or so after surgery. Stay close to your toilet for surprise visitors knocking at both ends! And also, it's just a good idea to rest as much as possible, and to take activity on is small steps.

I didn't have many episodes of dumping, and if you really stick to a liquid diet for those first couple of weeks, there won't be much to dump!

And for what it's worth, I lost so much weight so quickly by following a strict liquid diet that my body got lighter and I was able to move better and my mood was joyful. The tradeoff was worth it.

But I experienced that huge sense of loss you might be referring to. I remember in the days leading up to the surgery, having food fantasies where the punch line at the end was always "I'm never going to be able to eat that again...." and wanting to cry. But honestly, there's nothing I can't eat today, and the difficulties I had with one food or another immediately post-op, went away quickly.

And as I lost weight, I joined the YMCA, took swimming lessons and worked out, building muscles, and that led to a new obsession: hiking the North Cascade Mountains. To this day, at the age of 74, that's the thing I love the most about being alive and being in shape.

 

[ChiMoon]

There is definitely a difference. IMO, reflux is something everyone has now and then, because it's just a more severe form of heartburn. But dumping is really related to weight loss surgery and other digestive procedures and IT IS A KILLER! I remember the first time dumping attacked me. I was crossing the street in a crosswalk and it literally doubled me over. I thought I was going to lose the contents of my bowels right there on the street. There was nothing I could do to make it better, so I ended up sitting on the curb and waiting for it to pass.

I would offer this advice to anyone with a flexible schedule: stay home as much as possible for the first two weeks or so after surgery. Stay close to your toilet for surprise visitors knocking at both ends! And also, it's just a good idea to rest as much as possible, and to take activity on is small steps.

I didn't have many episodes of dumping, and if you really stick to a liquid diet for those first couple of weeks, there won't be much to dump!

And for what it's worth, I lost so much weight so quickly by following a strict liquid diet that my body got lighter and I was able to move better and my mood was joyful. The tradeoff was worth it.

But I experienced that huge sense of loss you might be referring to. I remember in the days leading up to the surgery, having food fantasies where the punch line at the end was always "I'm never going to be able to eat that again...." and wanting to cry. But honestly, there's nothing I can't eat today, and the difficulties I had with one food or another immediately post-op, went away quickly.

And as I lost weight, I joined the YMCA, took swimming lessons and worked out, building muscles, and that led to a new obsession: hiking the North Cascade Mountains. To this day, at the age of 74, that's the thing I love the most about being alive and being in shape.

Hi Kristen,

Thank you for responding and sharing your story. I have yet to experience dumping, as per your explanation, thankfully, but the reflux is no walk in the park. I'm still on full liquids, and now I'm just trying to get through the day without eating anything other than my protein shakes, jello, and butternut squash soup. What is putting more salt to the wound is that I hit a plateau with my weight loss. At least if I saw the scale go down, I wouldn't feel so helpless, so now I'm just trying to get out of my depression and face this bleak reality. I'll be going back to work in a few days. I'm hoping being distracted will help me move past this phase. I actually started to chew food and spit it out just so I could feel normal again. However, I quickly realized that wasn't normal, and it made me feel worse, so I stopped. I hope I reach the same point as you, and this will all be a thing of the past, but until then, I keep drinking my shakes and pray for the days to pass more quickly.

Tell me something, How long did you have to wait before you could hit the gym? Thanks for taking the time to respond. I sincerely appreciate it!

 

[mycalsuite]

Hi Kristen,

Thank you for responding and sharing your story. I have yet to experience dumping, as per your explanation, thankfully, but the reflux is no walk in the park. I'm still on full liquids, and now I'm just trying to get through the day without eating anything other than my protein shakes, jello, and butternut squash soup. What is putting more salt to the wound is that I hit a plateau with my weight loss. At least if I saw the scale go down, I wouldn't feel so helpless, so now I'm just trying to get out of my depression and face this bleak reality. I'll be going back to work in a few days. I'm hoping being distracted will help me move past this phase. I actually started to chew food and spit it out just so I could feel normal again. However, I quickly realized that wasn't normal, and it made me feel worse, so I stopped. I hope I reach the same point as you, and this will all be a thing of the past, but until then, I keep drinking my shakes and pray for the days to pass more quickly.

Tell me something, How long did you have to wait before you could hit the gym? Thanks for taking the time to respond. I sincerely appreciate it!

You are undoubtedly not alone; the initial phase may seem more difficult than anticipated, particularly if the scale stalls. Plateaus are common since your body is still recovering and responding to significant changes. Over time, maintaining a consistent protein and hydration intake truly does make a difference.

Even short daily walks or light stretching might help reset your metabolism and improve your mood once you're cleared for light movement. Sometimes you're improving in ways that the numbers don't immediately reveal, so tracking your progress with basic health tools or calculators can also provide a clearer picture than using the scale alone.

You're doing everything correctly; if you stay consistent, you'll soon see the benefits once more.

 

[Meciashar]

Hello All,

I am happy I found this community. I had my sleeve surgery on 10/27, and it has been a difficult transition. Before the surgery, I took all the required steps to qualify for it. Spoke to countless people who have done it, including two very close friends and family members. Attended support groups more than the required amount, watched endless YouTube videos from those who have it done, and yet... nothing can prepare you for the reality of it. Depression, Regret, and Anxiety are just a few words to describe how I am feeling now. It's interesting how everyone says they're happy with the surgery. And that they wish they had done it sooner..That is not my experience. I feel like I lost a part of me that I loved. I don't know if it will get better, I hope it does, but right now, I feel hopeless..I feel like all I can do is drink water, drink protein shakes, and butternut squash puree..I try to go to bed early every night so that time moves faster.

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!!

My surgery date was also 10/27. I am excited to be a part of this community. This has also been a difficult transition for me as well. I had those initial thoughts after surgery, but I have a huge support system that have been really encouraging. You got this!!! I follow my surgeon orders to the T. I do agree that this is mentally exhausting, but we are going to get through it!!!

 

[shelly0604]

Hello All,

I am happy I found this community. I had my sleeve surgery on 10/27, and it has been a difficult transition. Before the surgery, I took all the required steps to qualify for it. Spoke to countless people who have done it, including two very close friends and family members. Attended support groups more than the required amount, watched endless YouTube videos from those who have it done, and yet... nothing can prepare you for the reality of it. Depression, Regret, and Anxiety are just a few words to describe how I am feeling now. It's interesting how everyone says they're happy with the surgery. And that they wish they had done it sooner..That is not my experience. I feel like I lost a part of me that I loved. I don't know if it will get better, I hope it does, but right now, I feel hopeless..I feel like all I can do is drink water, drink protein shakes, and butternut squash puree..I try to go to bed early every night so that time moves faster.

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!!

Hang in there. It will get better. I’m struggling with the regrets as well. I’m not even a month post op and my weight loss has completely stalled. But I guess there’s no turning back now, so you gotta keep the faith that good things are coming.

 

[dianeseattle]

Hang in there. It will get better. I’m struggling with the regrets as well. I’m not even a month post op and my weight loss has completely stalled. But I guess there’s no turning back now, so you gotta keep the faith that good things are coming.

Welcome to your group, Shelly. I'm so glad you jumped right in and offered your support to another member. That's how this group used to be all the time. Members come and go, and before social media was such a huge factor in our lives, small groups like these were where people came together and shared warmth and support.

And it does get better and BETTER, as long as we stick together. So when we go through occasional lulls with not many posts, they're followed by huge influxes of new posts and great members.

As I mentioned in my post above, one thing we don't always take into account is the loss of a love... when we can't make ourselves feel better by going on a big old binge. I lived for those days of walking to the corner store, buying a whole bunch of junk, going back home and just making love to it for the whole day or evening. We became obese for a reason, but most of us are too ashamed to talk about it. Food is comforting and makes a lot of depressing things in our life disappear while we bask in the glow of that love.

That was actually the hardest thing for me to deal with, the loss of a friend. It took time to be able to shift my love for food to a love of my figure, my clothes, my excitement from my transformation. But once I was able to enjoy my new body in my new clothes, I got on that path and stayed there, and it still thrills me today.

To everyone on this thread, thank you so much for your thoughts and for being vulnerable enough to come here and share with us.

diane

 

[Tokash]

Hello All,

I am happy I found this community. I had my sleeve surgery on 10/27, and it has been a difficult transition. Before the surgery, I took all the required steps to qualify for it. Spoke to countless people who have done it, including two very close friends and family members. Attended support groups more than the required amount, watched endless YouTube videos from those who have it done, and yet... nothing can prepare you for the reality of it. Depression, Regret, and Anxiety are just a few words to describe how I am feeling now. It's interesting how everyone says they're happy with the surgery. And that they wish they had done it sooner..That is not my experience. I feel like I lost a part of me that I loved. I don't know if it will get better, I hope it does, but right now, I feel hopeless..I feel like all I can do is drink water, drink protein shakes, and butternut squash puree..I try to go to bed early every night so that time moves faster.

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!

Hello All,

I am happy I found this community. I had my sleeve surgery on 10/27, and it has been a difficult transition. Before the surgery, I took all the required steps to qualify for it. Spoke to countless people who have done it, including two very close friends and family members. Attended support groups more than the required amount, watched endless YouTube videos from those who have it done, and yet... nothing can prepare you for the reality of it. Depression, Regret, and Anxiety are just a few words to describe how I am feeling now. It's interesting how everyone says they're happy with the surgery. And that they wish they had done it sooner..That is not my experience. I feel like I lost a part of me that I loved. I don't know if it will get better, I hope it does, but right now, I feel hopeless..I feel like all I can do is drink water, drink protein shakes, and butternut squash puree..I try to go to bed early every night so that time moves faster.

Reflux or dumping syndrome, which I'm not sure if there is a difference, is a real thing, because I tried to eat 1 tbs of mashed potatoes and I thought I was dying the most painful death..I'm now scared to try other foods in fear of experiencing that level of physical pain. It wasn't stomach pain. I bought it, but it felt like the potatoes were stuck in my lungs. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I have ever experienced before, until the next time when I tried a teaspoon of mashed tuna fish. I want to be put in a coma until the healing is over, and I don't need to be a participant in it anymore. My honest opinion at this moment, I wish I had never done the surgery!!!!

I had surgery in 2020. I too regret it. I had gained all of my weight back by 2024 and struggle daily with exhaustion partly due to my inability to eat enough. On top of that horrible acid reflux

 

[MandyS2026]

Welcome to your group, Shelly. I'm so glad you jumped right in and offered your support to another member. That's how this group used to be all the time. Members come and go, and before social media was such a huge factor in our lives, small groups like these were where people came together and shared warmth and support.

And it does get better and BETTER, as long as we stick together. So when we go through occasional lulls with not many posts, they're followed by huge influxes of new posts and great members.

As I mentioned in my post above, one thing we don't always take into account is the loss of a love... when we can't make ourselves feel better by going on a big old binge. I lived for those days of walking to the corner store, buying a whole bunch of junk, going back home and just making love to it for the whole day or evening. We became obese for a reason, but most of us are too ashamed to talk about it. Food is comforting and makes a lot of depressing things in our life disappear while we bask in the glow of that love.

That was actually the hardest thing for me to deal with, the loss of a friend. It took time to be able to shift my love for food to a love of my figure, my clothes, my excitement from my transformation. But once I was able to enjoy my new body in my new clothes, I got on that path and stayed there, and it still thrills me today.

To everyone on this thread, thank you so much for your thoughts and for being vulnerable enough to come here and share with us.

diane

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I am very new to this group and surgery, 04/16/2026 sleeve. You are SO encouraging and kind. I tried some social media groups but it was not for me. Thank you all for being so great.

 

[JustMe]

I don't use any social media. I never have. I feel safe here. What a wonderful supportive group! Welcome! I hope you are feeling good!