New Here and Considering Surgery

[DepecheHalo]

Hello,

So, I'm looking for support groups to help me as I'm starting this weight loss journey. I'm pretty traumatized by my mother's experience, which ultimately led to her death. So, I'm trying to become more than just "physically" ready for this surgery. I've postponed scheduling an pre-op appointment with the Dr. Due to fear that I'm going to have my pain ignored and that I'll die a slow, long painful death like she did post-surgery.

I understand things have changed in the 10+yrs since her surgery. However, since we're in a pandemic that is at the forefront of everyone's mind, I'm afraid of falling "through the cracks".

Did anyone else have that concern?

 

[missyinacage]

Hi, De. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death. I had my surgery postponed due to CoVid restrictions on elective surgeries and it looks like that will be happening again in many places. Weight loss surgery has certainly come a long way since those early days, however there are of course still risks involved. It is very important that you find a surgeon with lots of experience. My local hospital has a weight loss program with doctors, therapists, nutritionists, surgeons, support groups etc. so it's really a one stop shop. I personally think that is the best way to go. You get a group that is focused and specializes in weight loss patients and their needs. They are aware of the complications that can and do arise with weight loss surgery and are, IMO, less likely to write concerns off as a patient "over-reacting". I wish you the best of luck finding a team and applaud your courage in facing your fears to better your health and future.

 

[DepecheHalo]

Hi, De. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death. I had my surgery postponed due to CoVid restrictions on elective surgeries and it looks like that will be happening again in many places. Weight loss surgery has certainly come a long way since those early days, however there are of course still risks involved. It is very important that you find a surgeon with lots of experience. My local hospital has a weight loss program with doctors, therapists, nutritionists, surgeons, support groups etc. so it's really a one stop shop. I personally think that is the best way to go. You get a group that is focused and specializes in weight loss patients and their needs. They are aware of the complications that can and do arise with weight loss surgery and are, IMO, less likely to write concerns off as a patient "over-reacting". I wish you the best of luck finding a team and applaud your courage in facing your fears to better your health and future.

Hi Missy,

Thanks. I'm kind if in a "unique" situation because apparently, because I'm a healthcare worker and the bariatric program is one of the few surgeries that aren't considered "elective". So, it's truly a matter of when I can get cleared and scheduled. So, I'll defiantly look further into their therapists.

I appreciate your thoughts and I hope you get to have your surgery and everything goes well throughout the process.

 

[missyinacage]

Sorry, I should have been clearer. I was postponed in March. I had my surgery (gastric bypass) in June. I did not realize that you were going to be able to just schedule and go. Yikes! That would be a bit intimidating for anyone. Most insurance requires either 3 or 6 months of doctors visits and other hoops that help get you mentally prepared. I was actually required to meet with a therapist and get evaluated. He was very helpful.

 

[JudyNY]

So very sorry you lost your mother due to complications following her surgery. It is understandable that you are leery because of it. I think what Missy said about choosing a center that's a complete package in bariatric care is important. I was very impressed with the center that I go to that there is so much follow through before and after the surgery. 9 years ago I had lapband surgery and it was lacking in the follow up care. This year I had gastric sleeve surgery and I even got follow-up calls to make sure things are going well. Anyway I want to welcome you to our group and hope we can make you feel more at ease as you go through this process.

 

[DepecheHalo]

Yeah, I'm "lucky". The program works that way for non-employees. For employees, we need to meet with the nutritionist, therapist, etc also. But, the actual surgery is fast tracked since the hospital is basically paying for it. So, while it's suggested to see a therapist before, it's not required until after surgery.

 

[DepecheHalo]

So very sorry you lost your mother due to complications following her surgery. It is understandable that you are leery because of it. I think what Missy said about choosing a center that's a complete package in bariatric care is important. I was very impressed with the center that I go to that there is so much follow through before and after the surgery. 9 years ago I had lapband surgery and it was lacking in the follow up care. This year I had gastric sleeve surgery and I even got follow-up calls to make sure things are going well. Anyway I want to welcome you to our group and hope we can make you feel more at ease as you go through this process.

Thanks Judy

 

[3momchaos]

Welcome to the group! I was definitely apprehensive about the surgery, and not just about the way my brain and body would change with food. I’m the mom of 3 school age kids, so they’re my priority, but if I don’t have my health, I don’t have a life. I was mostly healthy when I had my surgery, but in reality anything can happen. The thought of complications during surgery or after terrified me. But I put my trust in my surgeon who is an expert at this. He was overly cautious with me because I have a clotting disorder, so I had to take blood thinner shots for a month after surgery. You’re in a different mindset obviously having lost your mom, so while I can’t relate exactly, I can say that I was definitely scared. I’m sorry about the loss of your mom.

 

[TraceyT]

Hello,

So, I'm looking for support groups to help me as I'm starting this weight loss journey. I'm pretty traumatized by my mother's experience, which ultimately led to her death. So, I'm trying to become more than just "physically" ready for this surgery. I've postponed scheduling an pre-op appointment with the Dr. Due to fear that I'm going to have my pain ignored and that I'll die a slow, long painful death like she did post-surgery.

I understand things have changed in the 10+yrs since her surgery. However, since we're in a pandemic that is at the forefront of everyone's mind, I'm afraid of falling "through the cracks".

Did anyone else have that concern?

Hi Depe - welcome to the group!

I personally didn't have the concerns you have, I also haven't experienced the trauma of my parent dying from surgery.

Pain levels are different for everyone. What is painful for one isn't painful for someone else. I apparently have a high threshold for pain. I think I only used 1 pain pill from my prescription once I got home from surgery.

I would suggest talking with your surgical team about your concerns. They should be able to answer all your questions. If they can't answer your questions to where you feel comfortable - try a different surgical team.

The only regret I have about my surgery - I wish I had it sooner.

Best of luck to you on this amazing life altering journey!

 

[Tokash]

For a good month if not more I was EXTREMELY fearful i would die on the table. This isnew for me as I have previously had 2 cesections without this fear. One of which was pretty traumatizing for me.

I have worked in and off throughout my life with a therapist and was seeing one at the time of surgery prep soni did a lot of work with her to over come this fear and think more logical.