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Lifetime Struggle - will it ever end?

Mimi K

Member
Hi! I'm new here and I wanted to take this opportunity to address something that still bothers me . Even though I've had a lifetime of ridicule for being just slightly overweight, I'm choosing this sugery so that I can be healthy and it has nothing to do with pleasing anyone but myself. I simply feel unable to get to - and maintain a health weight. I am a very active person and I eat quite healthy. I just cannot seem to limit my calorie intake enough to lose the weight I need to. I just want to share a little bit about the negetive impact that others had on my life, because I think I'm still angry about it.

I was born the youngest of seven children. I was slightly overweight as far back as I can remember (maybe 3 years old) and I do not know why. As an elementary child I started being teased by family, friends, and random others who viewed me as "less than" for being in the overweight category. In middle shcool, I was 5'3 and about 130 -140 pounds and still the fat one. At 16, I took diet pills and got down to 122, and my boyfriend said I had love handles and I still had a random comments from others about my stomach. (It has never, EVER, been flat.) I can not even count how many times others have made mean comments about my weight as if it were perfectly acceptable to do so.

Of course when I quit the pills, the weight came back. I have been on several diet programs over the years starting with Nutri System at age 18 (30 years ago). I've been battling my wieight my entire life. I have been losing and regaining the same weight for many, many years and I feel I am losing the battle and need this surgery. I am only doing this to feel better and not for looks. I am not doing it to fit in or be accepted. Honestly, I think if people start being nicer to me because I lose weight I will be annoyed. Everytime I lose weight I get all of these compliments and it's like, "oh, now you like me?"
 
Been in your shoes for sure. Glad you have a good attitude about the surgery. You are right. It isn’t about anyone else but you. I know I will never be a supermodel or whatever our culture deems perfect and beautiful, but I will be healthy. When you are barely 40 and are on tons of meds and use a CPAP your life starts to look a little grim.
Also, why do people have it in their heads that it is ok to comment on another person’s appearance? Skinny or not! It’s just not ok. And I have been thin before same as you. People do treat you differently and that’s just offensive. I had a guy I used to just drool over when I was younger, but I was always the fat kid. Several years later when I had lost a ton of weight he was all of a sudden interested. Made me want to just punch him in the face. I was less than human when I was fat and then all of a sudden I was the greatest thing. The double standard in our culture is shocking. Good for you for starting the process and taking the step toward a healthier and happier you!
 
Been in your shoes for sure. Glad you have a good attitude about the surgery. You are right. It isn’t about anyone else but you. I know I will never be a supermodel or whatever our culture deems perfect and beautiful, but I will be healthy. When you are barely 40 and are on tons of meds and use a CPAP your life starts to look a little grim.
Also, why do people have it in their heads that it is ok to comment on another person’s appearance? Skinny or not! It’s just not ok. And I have been thin before same as you. People do treat you differently and that’s just offensive. I had a guy I used to just drool over when I was younger, but I was always the fat kid. Several years later when I had lost a ton of weight he was all of a sudden interested. Made me want to just punch him in the face. I was less than human when I was fat and then all of a sudden I was the greatest thing. The double standard in our culture is shocking. Good for you for starting the process and taking the step toward a healthier and happier you!

Thank you! I know that this isn't going to be easy but I'm glad I found this group to lean on!
 
Thank you! I know that this isn't going to be easy but I'm glad I found this group to lean on!
We’re here for you. Ask anything and we will try to help if we can. Even if you just need to vent! Look through old posts too. There’s a wealth of knowledge on this site and great people who will help you along the way. I am still early in the process so a lot of what you will be going through I will be going through as well
 
Hey Mimi! I totally get everything you are saying. I didn't take diet pills as a teen, but the only time I was ever "skinny" was when I was basically bulimic. And still I didn't get under 130 pounds. Some of us are just predisposed to being bigger i don't know what it is. It isn't fair. I'm excited for the day I walk into a dr office with a problem and the first thing they tell me isn't that it's because I'm obese haha. It's like guys - just cause I'm big doesn't mean there aren't other reasons for migraines/pain/a sneeze haha.
It is frustrating when people treat you differently but I honestly don't like it because it makes me feel MORE insecure.....like, what if I gain the weight back? Now I know how they truly feel, if you get what I mean.
Anyways - good luck! So glad you are here and I hope your journey is fulfilling and life-changing! We get to (hopefully) live longer and that's a definite plus!
 
Hi Mimi - welcome to the group!!

WLS is a great tool to get us moving in the right direction. Surgery may not be the only tool you'll need. You may also need a broom! Use it to sweep those negative ass hat wearing shit stains to the curb with the rest of the trash. I'm not a fan of friends/family/co-workers and other assorted shit talking turds. Broom them and move on without the damaging drama they like to give you. Best of luck on your new exciting journey!!!
 
Hey Mimi! I totally get everything you are saying. I didn't take diet pills as a teen, but the only time I was ever "skinny" was when I was basically bulimic. And still I didn't get under 130 pounds. Some of us are just predisposed to being bigger i don't know what it is. It isn't fair. I'm excited for the day I walk into a dr office with a problem and the first thing they tell me isn't that it's because I'm obese haha. It's like guys - just cause I'm big doesn't mean there aren't other reasons for migraines/pain/a sneeze haha.
It is frustrating when people treat you differently but I honestly don't like it because it makes me feel MORE insecure.....like, what if I gain the weight back? Now I know how they truly feel, if you get what I mean.
Anyways - good luck! So glad you are here and I hope your journey is fulfilling and life-changing! We get to (hopefully) live longer and that's a definite plus!
Hello and thank you so much for listening to me vent! I know what you mean about the regain worry. My family has always been very very judgemental about weight and I don't care what they think of me, I just get upset that this type of predjudice is acceptable.
 
Hi Mimi - welcome to the group!!

WLS is a great tool to get us moving in the right direction. Surgery may not be the only tool you'll need. You may also need a broom! Use it to sweep those negative ass hat wearing shit stains to the curb with the rest of the trash. I'm not a fan of friends/family/co-workers and other assorted shit talking turds. Broom them and move on without the damaging drama they like to give you. Best of luck on your new exciting journey!!!
I love this advice! Thank you!
 
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