Looking for a mentor

[jenniferlovesbooks]

Hello all.

I'm brand new to this group. I'm going to have the VSG which should be scheduled within the next couple of weeks. Since I started this journey of lifestyle changes in January, I've grown more and more aware that I need people in my life who have undergone some of the same struggles. I know two women who have had the VSG. While they are absolutely lovely ladies, I don't want my post-op life to resemble theirs in any fashion. Getting ready for this surgery and for this new way of interacting with food has been one of the most challenging things of my adult life. It is so difficult to break old habits and shift your thinking. I'm hoping that maybe you can put me in touch with someone with whom I can go to with questions. Thank you!

Jennifer

 

[MamaBearOf4]

Jennifer you came to a good group. welcome to our group. We have good people with awesome advice. Diane has given me some good advice when I needed it. You can place you questions out there and you can get advice from more then one person. The good thing is we all know what you are either going through or are going to go through it. Myself I am waiting for my surgery. I go May 6th for mine. But my surgery is different. I am having the RNY. Best wishes and hope to hear more from you

 

[jenniferlovesbooks]

Thank you for the welcome! Is it ok to post motivational memes or quotes in here?

 

[SuzanOB]

Hello all.

I'm brand new to this group. I'm going to have the VSG which should be scheduled within the next couple of weeks. Since I started this journey of lifestyle changes in January, I've grown more and more aware that I need people in my life who have undergone some of the same struggles. I know two women who have had the VSG. While they are absolutely lovely ladies, I don't want my post-op life to resemble theirs in any fashion. Getting ready for this surgery and for this new way of interacting with food has been one of the most challenging things of my adult life. It is so difficult to break old habits and shift your thinking. I'm hoping that maybe you can put me in touch with someone with whom I can go to with questions. Thank you!

Jennifer

Hello all.

I'm brand new to this group. I'm going to have the VSG which should be scheduled within the next couple of weeks. Since I started this journey of lifestyle changes in January, I've grown more and more aware that I need people in my life who have undergone some of the same struggles. I know two women who have had the VSG. While they are absolutely lovely ladies, I don't want my post-op life to resemble theirs in any fashion. Getting ready for this surgery and for this new way of interacting with food has been one of the most challenging things of my adult life. It is so difficult to break old habits and shift your thinking. I'm hoping that maybe you can put me in touch with someone with whom I can go to with questions. Thank you!

Jennifer

Hi Jennifer and welcome! Yesterday was my first time here. I had an RNY July 2015 and have had very good success because I did change my mindset and I gave up trigger foods. I gave them up for good and have not had one bite. These are one of the agreements you have to have with your self your new self in order to make it worK. I came here yesterday looking for some support because I’ve put on about 15 pounds and I was in a dead panic. Today that’s all gone. I picked up a copy of a book that I bought early on in my recovery that has all the answers I need to change my life forever. And of course the underlying thread is persistence and patience. All the things that it talks about in this book are absolutely the truth for me in in being affective for me to achieve my goals for my lifetime around my attitude towards weight and my ability to maintain my gift. What is so great about this publication is it it takes about an hour for it to be read and it tells the truth. I have 30 years of recovery and other substance programs and everything that’s in this book is the foundation for my success in those other programs. And inexpensive investment for information that you can’t go without. It’s called Mindset Breakthrough by Beth Bianca. Yesterday I was a mess and have been for about 30 days. I forgot to use all the tools at my fingertips and went right back to all that negative, useless, and dangerous mind chatter. my head was hunting me down and trying to kill me. Today I am back on track. I wish you all the success that you deserve. And I’m here if you need me.

 

[SuzanOB]

Hello and welcome to Suzan, as well as Jennifer of course.

It's important to remember, no matter how new you are or how far out from your surgery you've lived, that bariatric surgery is not some magic cure for obesity or weight management. You still have the same brain, and it's very likely that you're still having the same negative messages or memories or compulsions that you had before.

There are some physical changes that happened in your digestive system after bariatric surgery and you can benefit from those in the beginning, in order to get a jump on your new life.

12 years after having roux-en-y in an open procedure, I still fight the demons that pushed me to obesity in the first place.

Early in your post-op life, it's important to make sure the physical healing is happening. That means if you're having any destructive problems, you should let your doctor know immediately. You should be able to match some of your experience to the many stories on the Internet or in the packet that you were given while you were being educated prior to surgery. But there may be some things that you're still stuck on.

I've never been able to find a mentor, even in as rich an area as Seattle. But like Suzan, I have a history of dysfunctional behavior and have always looked to effective programs and groups for emotional support.

I think I have mentioned this before. But there is a book titled "The Only Diet There Is" that is helpful and it has virtually nothing to do with food. It's "a diet from negative thinking," according to the author. By embracing this book and following her simple exercises, I learned that there is benefit to be gained from using affirmations. There are thousands of other books, as well, and I think they are usually helpful, even if you haven't reached some goal, and especially if you can't locate a mentor.

But what works for one person may not work for others. We've had some people here who had surgery going back 40 years. The surgery was performed under different conditions, using different approaches, some that didn't even exist until somebody performed it way back when.

It's really important to listen to your body. It's also important to get as much education as you can possibly get. Don't let someone else's bad experience prejudice you. Your experience is going to be unique to your psyche and physicality.

Just don't be afraid to reach out to your doctor, to a support group, in an online forum. And don't be afraid to ask a question that might embarrass you or seem obvious. Remember that bariatric surgery was developed to correct a terminal illness called obesity. The recovery it is a joint effort that involves all of the above. Trying to do it on your own is like trying to walk a tightrope without taking any lessons.

I agree!! I think so many of us are afraid to use the resources that are available to us as bariatric patients. I recently moved from CA and one of the best teams in the state with all kinds of support groups many times during the week, professionally facilitated by folks that have had the surgery. One of the main topics and resurfaced often that is that the fact that so many of us have hidden for most of our lives and somehow managed to completely ignore some of our basic needs that require us to actually make noise and ask for them. That is still alive in some of us even after surgery. Just because the gut gets fixed with a gift and tool, doesn't mean the head does. I miss my group desperately. So many resources there that are not available in my new location. I am so pleased to find this group and that there is active participation and that there are patients that have long term recovery post op.

Persistence and patience. There is a lot to be said for acting as if to get me over the humps of plateaus and depression when I think things are not moving according to my plan. It's never going to be about my plan and the endless requirement is that I have to keep the strong fight going and remember that I already KNOW the things to do that work. That is the definition of wisdom.